Moms and Maids
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Everyone Dropped on the Same Day....

Ok, so it is 102 days until the wedding and I am left with no bridesmaids and no one to walk me down the aisle. My brother was supposed to walk me down the aisle (my father passed away 6 years ago), but, as usual, when there is something going on that doesn't put the spotlight on him - he started acting crazy! He got mad at me about a dog he gave me - now he wants money for it. I told him to come get the dog, but he insists on the money. The whole thing ended in "Lose my number and never talk to me again." All of this over a dog!! :(
Well, that was also 2 of my 3 bridesmaids because his daughters were in the wedding.
Then, my fiance's daughter called last night (the MOH) and said surprise - she's pregnant and can no longer be in it! Are you kidding me!?!?!
So, now it is 102 days and no one left for my side. I am freaking out here and need some major HELP!!! I feel like just saying forget it - it just seems that everything is against us and it isn't meant to be at this point....

Re: Everyone Dropped on the Same Day....

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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why can she no longer be in it because she's pregnant?  How far along is she?  Especially if there's no one else for her to match, she can just wear a nice dress.

    But ulitmately, you don't need people standing up next to you.  If not having bridesmaids is enough to make you want to call off the wedding, you SERIOUSLY need to reconsider why you're getting married in the first place.  That's not a normal reaction.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure what you need help with...

    How come your MOH being pregnant caused her to drop out? I mean, it's her choice, cearly, but is she going to have to miss her own father's wedding? I feel bad for her if she has to!

    Anyway, back to the problem at hand... what is it you need help with? I understand you're bummed about your brother, but you can't just ask people to "fill in the empty spots" for you. People aren't replaceable, not really.

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    edited December 2011
    Its not the end of the world hun.  It's just a few set backs but none of them are crucial to the ceremony.  You dont HAVE to have someone walk you down the aisle.  You dont have to have a wedding party.  The marriage is about you and your fiance, as the ceremony should be.  The most important people are you, you're fiance and your priest.
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's. You can have a pregnant BM in your wedding, there is nothing wrong with that. And its not like you need a huge WP anyway.

    As far as walking down the aisle goes, you can either go by yourself or what about walking with FI? Are you close to FI's father? If so, maybe he would do it, I am sure he would be honored.

    And like the other girls said, this is nothing compared to the challenges and struggles a marriage brings. You will be just fine.
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    LDYGTR13LDYGTR13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Breathe.

    Okay, now that you've done that let's take this one person at a time:

    Brother: My brother is bonehead AW  too. If he doesn't want to walk you down the aisle then he's just being silly. Let him be silly and walk yourself down the aisle or if it really means a lot to you to have someone walk you, find a close friend, or even your mom to walk you. If he doesn't want that honor, so be it.

    Nieces: So what, if they can't be there, then you are down two bridesmaids. Let's hope they bought their dresses already and will probably change their minds and come back anyway, but if they dont want to be BM's anymore because daddy's being a punk, then that's no problem. Not YOUR problem anyway.

    Future Step Daughter: 3 months is no biggie when it comes to a baby belly. If she feels comfortable enough to stand up with you, let her. Pregnant BM's are cute. I wish my FSIL (who will be 7 months pregnant by that point) would be standing up with me, but she said she'd prefer not to. If it's HER choice not to be a BM anymore, then you won't have a wedding party, but you'll still be marrying the man you love, so who cares?

    You'll be okay. Continue that breathing thing. It helps.
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    edited December 2011
    This must feel horrible! Smile. It is just an obstacle in your way that will soon come to pass. I like the idea about asking mom to walk you down the aisle. Who said it had to be a man! ;) Ask Stepdaughter if she still wants to be in it. If not......then come up with a backup plan. If you can't think of a single thing then you take the lonely journey down the aisle and meet up with your prince charming. :) Good luck.
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    edited December 2011
    yea, you def don't need anyone to walk you down the aisle.  judging by the age of the girls in your party, it sounds like you might be in your 30s/40s.  i don't think you're in your 20s or just out of your parents house.  unless your fiance is 20 years older than you, but it's hard to tell age.  I am in my late 20s and I'm walking myself down the aisle.  I'm independent, have been out of the house, etc etc.  you could have something of your father's to hold, a watch, a necklace of his, etc. which would symbolize him "walking down the aisle".  otherwise, it's a silly archaic tradition when fathers used to give us away in exchange for cattle or whatever. 

    as for the bridesmaids, it really doesn't matter if you have 0 or 10.  is your fiance having any attendants?  perhaps they could be your attendants and not be called the traditional WP names.  they could just be "attendants".  Not sure why she would cop out at last minute as she is pregnant.  doesn't make any sense unless she is on bedrest?  is she self-conscious about herself in a dress?  def let her pick whatever dress she wants.  don't think that should be a reason to not be in the wedding.
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    HMandKWHMandKW member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle so FI and I are walking down together.  We also have uneven sides for BMs and GMs.  Right now I know it's all really upsetting, so it's hard to envision your wedding without these people that you planned on being there, but at some point take a step back and think of other ways to do things.  The important thing is you're getting married.  How you walk down the aisle, or people standing up is not what people remember or what is important.  The focus will be on the two of you taking your vows.

    Good luck!
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    edited December 2011
    I had my uncle walk me down the aisle.. It can be a mother, brothers, etc.  At the time when my made my decision I guess I was in the lump of those who thought a man has to walk you down the aisle.  After the wedding was over, I thought about it and realized that if my mother walked me down the aisle that would have worked too.  That's if I didn't have the option of my uncle.  Anyone can walk you down, including walking down yourself.  All that matters is your walking toward your groom and seeing his reaction at looking at you.  Also, yes bridesmaids aren't necessary.  With 100 days to go, it's not like you can grab these last minute girls and ask them to be bridesmaids.  No one wants to be a back up and no one wants to be dragged in last minute with getting a dress etc.. you will figure out the right thing to do
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for everyone's advice! :)

    I have already purchased all of the dresses for the girls so I guess that I am just stuck with them!! :(

    Also, after speaking with his daughter more (who is only 5 years younger than me, he is 14 years older than me) I found out that she is actually due 2 weeks before the wedding. Ok, so she may or may not be able to attend - you really don't want your baby around many people that soon.

    I understand that this is just another challange, but it seems that EVERYTHING that we plan falls apart!! We have been together 8 years and have had 3 kids together. Our youngest daughter passed away from SIDS when she was 4 weeks and 6 days old. I believe this is some of the reason the wedding is so important to me. We worked our butts off to even like each other again after that happened and we have came a long way together. I don't know who (and I hope it is no one) has gone through losing a child, but the stress and feelings of losing a child (even though it was no one's fault) is horrible on a relationship.

    Anyways, I am just going to keep planning the wedding like everyone is going to be there and if none of them show up on that day then our 7 year old and 4 year old daughters will walk me down the aisle and be my bridesmaids.

    Oh, by the way, I am in my 20s also!! :)
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