Lingerie gift at bridal shower.

kjones927

My friend and I are BMs in our friend's wedding.  Her bridal shower is coming up, which is being given by her mom.  She has no maid of honor and we're the only ones from the bridal party that will be there.  She is not having a bachelorette party because it's hard for everyone to come (all in different states) and she didn't want one.

We wanted to give her lingerie since we don't know if anyone will be getting her any for her wedding.  We aren't sure about how to go about it, especially since her fiance will be at the shower but it is not a coed shower.  Should we just give it to her at the shower and he will see it? Should we give it to her another time? Or not give it to her at all?

tldh

Why is the FI going to be at the shower?  DH would have rather gone through a root canal than that.

Give it to her at the shower.  I have yet to go to one where lingerie wasn't being given.  I would try to keep it tasteful though since likely Great Aunt Myrtle will also be there.  Anything racier, give to her at another time.

kjones927

The FI is going because they live in Florida, but she is from NJ where her family all lives.  They are coming up for the weekend of the bridal shower. So he is going so he won't be left alone.

Cynthia1207

I'd give it at the shower.  Like tdlh said, I've never been to a shower where no lingerie has been given.  I don't see what the FI being there has anythign to do with it.  He's eventually going to see what you bought on her anyway (and then proceed to take it off)

skippylouwho

Unless you know everyone there and you know they won't think it odd, be embarassed, etc I would give it to her at another time rather than at the shower. 

SirJuliusVonHaast

How about giving a victoria's secret gift card? 

graysquirrel

I would wait and give it to her another time. Unlike pps, I've never been to a shower where racy gifts were given. We saved that till after the mothers/aunts had left. You know your friend and how comfortable she is with that stuff, but if she is at all shy (or her FI), I'd give it to her later. 

noelwellin

I've also never been to a shower where lingerie was given, but I know it's not uncommon.  Are the other BMs coming in before the wedding, even just a day or two ahead of time?  You could have a girls night with champagne or something and give it to her there.  It could even be a substitution for a bachelorette party, just a night to relax and chill out before all the wedding day craziness.  

kjones927

Thanks.  I think we'll wait to give it to her.  I have gone to showers where the maid of honor usually gives something tasteful.  But she is the type of person that would not be comfortable with it and will probably find it awkward. 

I do like the idea of just give a Victoria Secret gift card, so she doesn't feel wierd getting it from us.

mstar284

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_lingerie-gift-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:2f1c5723-3640-45e2-8023-b093107362abPost:dd545937-c046-479f-920f-425bc50a7e2f">Re: Lingerie gift at bridal shower.</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with the VS gift card. Not everyone is comfy getting lingerie as a gift.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

especially since it's not a lingerie shower. I've been to regular showers where pots and pans and such were given, but not underwear. They've always thrown a separate shower for that or as part of the bachelorette party--but you mentioned that she wasn't doing that anyway.

stina93446

I would NOT give ligerie at the shower. The shower is for all the old ladies in the bride's life (grandmother, aunties, mom, etc.) to watch the bride open gifts. While it's a given that the bride will be having sex and probably be wearing some sexy lacy things on the big night, no need to parade the lacy things in front of everyone. A little awkward. If you want to give lingerie, give a gc to her during the shower, OR give her the lingerie during a bachelorette party which IS the correct setting.

lalap69

I really like the VS GC idea.

I'm in the camp that's never seen lingerie given at a shower.  If my friends gave me lingerie publicly like that, I'd probably be really embarrassed.

stina93446

I had my shower and only one person got me anything ligerie related. My aunt got me a gc to victoria's secret. It was really nice that I got a GC and not some fluffy bra that she thought my husband would find sexy....ick! 

Plus, every bra and pantie set is different. The sizes vary. GC for the win!

BluValkyrie

At my friend's bridal shower last summer, they gave her lingerie.  It was being hosted by her ultra religious Mom too; with her grandmothers there.

Funny story is my friends Mom and her biological Mom both gave my friend the SAME lingerie.

vllbabe688

I think it's fine to give at the shower but if it was me I would prefer you to pull me aside after the rest of the presents are done and we have our little girly moment just the three of us.   Even if most showers have a lingerie gift at some point I'd still be mortified to have my parents & family see what I'm going to be wearing when I get my freak on