flower girl or junior bridesmaid?

jferlenda

What would you say is the age that you stop being flower girl material and more junior bridesmaid?

Kristin789

Here's what etiquette says:

Flower Girl/Child

Wee ones aged three through eight who walk down the aisle before the bride, scattering flower petals from a basket (or carrying a pomander). Little ladies are the norm, but cute little boys can fill this role, too. Most flower children sit with their parents after completing their stroll.

Junior Bridesmaids/Junior Groomsmen/Junior Ushers

These are young members of the wedding party (aged 9-16). They'll attend all major functions (excluding X-rated bachelorette parties) and fulfill the same responsibilities as senior squad members. Junior bridesmaids can wear less-sexy versions of the bridesmaid dresses (if the dresses are risque); Junior groomsmen may don a tux like the big guys.

AutumnFair

I say flower girl stops at 12 (just before Jr. High/Middle School).

A Bridesmaid can be anyone over 9 years old.

aerinpegadrak

Which role does she want?  I've seen adult flower girls and very young children as bridesmaids.  Every kid is different; some might be thrilled to be a flower girl, others the same age might think FG is a baby job and would rather be with the big girls.

I'd ditch the junior title as well.  Are you calling your other girls senior bridesmaids?  They're all doing exactly the same thing: walking down the aisle in the appropriate attire, standing respectfully for the ceremony, and smiling for pictures.  If a girl is old enough to do that, she's old enough to be a full bridesmaid.

squarepeg72

My "flower girls will be 9 & 10 when the wedding happens ... When they were asked what they wanted to be, they both said they wanted to be flower girls.

The role the young lady has in the wedding should fit both her age and her personality

Kristin789

>>They're all doing exactly the same thing: walking down the aisle in the appropriate attire, standing respectfully for the ceremony, and smiling for pictures.

That's what they are doing ON THE WEDDING DAY.
But traditionally, bridesmaids are young woman who have had adult experiences such as romantic relationships, who can be a mentor to the bride as she begins her married life.  The MOH and the BMs are a collection of people who are ThisClose to the bride, who are around her same age and have been with her through thick and thin as she and FI deepened their relationship and then got engaged.

A girl who is 9 or 12 or whatever has not been privy to all the details of the adult bride's courtship and engagement, and she's not had adult experiences like romantic relationships to provide the bride with mentoring or counseling as the married life begins.

lalap69

Ditto Retread.

Kristin, if I was picking my bm's based on who could "mentor" me in my marriage, I wouldn't have asked some of my best friends.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_flower-girl-junior-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:327245dd-290f-4df7-af30-2403ac28db00Post:3bd3ad25-de82-4ba8-987b-8e133715acee">Re: flower girl or junior bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE] />>They're all doing exactly the same thing: walking down the aisle in the appropriate attire, standing respectfully for the ceremony, and smiling for pictures. That's what they are doing ON THE WEDDING DAY. But traditionally, bridesmaids are young woman who have had adult experiences such as romantic relationships, who can be a mentor to the bride as she begins her married life.  The MOH and the BMs are a collection of people who are ThisClose to the bride, who are around her same age and have been with her through thick and thin as she and FI deepened their relationship and then got engaged. A girl who is 9 or 12 or whatever has not been privy to all the details of the adult bride's courtship and engagement, and she's not had adult experiences like romantic relationships to provide the bride with mentoring or counseling as the married life begins.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
Those are all horribly shallow and restrictive reasons to choose a wedding party.  They should be the bride's best and closest friends.  That's it.  Expecting them to act as free therapists and marriage counselors is just as wrong and deluded as expecting them to act as free wedding planners.

bsn1752

Sticking with the question at hand here -

Ditto to the first post from Kristin. 

I am having two junior BM's.  One is 11, one is 13. 

kedorsett

My junior bridesmaid will be ten. My flowergirl will be seven.

jferlenda

Haha didn't know this simple question would cause drama!  But thanks for all of the opinions...they did help

Melissa2299

We're a little odd because we're getting married and have four kids.  I never see anyone else in our situation, but anyway...

Our six year old son is the ring bearer.  Our oldest daughter 13, is a bridesmaid.  Our other daughters are 18 months (she'll be two by the wedding) and nine.  At first we thought they'd both be flower girls, but the nine year old really is better suited to be a "junior bridesmaid," or whatever you want to call her.  So she will be, and our two year old will be the flower girl.  She is not going to drop petals, but will carry a bouquet in a basket.  I'm hoping she'll walk down the aisle with her brother... if she doesn't, well, I'm sure someone will pick her up and move her out of the way!

Many people talk about wanting their weddings to be "perfect" but to me, having my kids there and marrying the man I love is perfect.

So I guess to answer your question after all that, I say, it's your wedding, so do what ever you want!