What to do about a MOH who seems to show no interest in anything?!!

frogrobyn

I asked my best friend of 18 years to be my MOH. She said yes, she would love too. I asked her a few months ago if she wanted to look for dresses. She said she would have us go looking when it got closer to the date. I then wrote her again, last month.
( I am getting married in January), She wrote me what I thought was a pretty rude email, saying should would just buy something off the rack! I just want to go looking with her, so that her dress does not stand out like a sore thumb! She is the only person standing up for me! I have NOT asked her to do anything else! So I am a bit hurt. I can't unask her. I don't want to lose her as a friend. I just don't want to get into a fight with her. HELP!!!

vixey

I hate shopping with other people.  Maybe she doesn't like the idea of having to try on dresses and come out and show you. I say you should email her some pictures of what you have in mind, and make sure you are both on the same page.  If she's the only person standing up with you, how can she stick out like a sore thumb?  I think forcing her to go shopping with you when she clearly doesn't want to would not be fun or productive for anyone.

lavieboheme73

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-seems-show-interest-anything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3c06a2b7-4c99-44dc-a66c-5536f90c1abePost:b8dc6de6-0979-49ac-8a3b-bc00a15c6f14">Re: What to do about a MOH who seems to show no interest in anything?!!</a>:
[QUOTE] If she's the only person standing up with you, how can she stick out like a sore thumb?
Posted by vixey[/QUOTE]

This!

I know it's hard to believe, no matter how many times a day a million people say it just on this board alone, but you are the only person who thinks your wedding is the top priority above all other things in this world.  OK, your FI might be on the same page, but even he probably just wants to rent the tux and show up.  Your friend probably has other things on her mind, and she may be looking at your insistence as an intrusion into those things, or, as PP said, maybe she just doesn't care for group shopping trips.  Either way, it's not heinous enough to warrant even considering kicking what I presume is a good friend out of your wedding.

If she knows the basics (color, length, fabric, level of formality), let her pick her dress on her terms.

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-seems-show-interest-anything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3c06a2b7-4c99-44dc-a66c-5536f90c1abePost:70752ed0-6fd0-440c-9d8f-739d96142d96">Re: What to do about a MOH who seems to show no interest in anything?!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What to do about a MOH who seems to show no interest in anything?!! : This! I know it's hard to believe, no matter how many times a day a million people say it just on this board alone, but you are the only person who thinks your wedding is the top priority above all other things in this world.  OK, your FI might be on the same page, but even he probably just wants to rent the tux and show up.  Your friend probably has other things on her mind, and she may be looking at your insistence as an intrusion into those things, or, as PP said, maybe she just doesn't care for group shopping trips.  Either way, it's not heinous enough to warrant even considering kicking what I presume is a good friend out of your wedding. If she knows the basics (color, length, fabric, level of formality), let her pick her dress on her terms.
Posted by lavieboheme73[/QUOTE]

Ditto this, EXACTLY.

i3rooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-seems-show-interest-anything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3c06a2b7-4c99-44dc-a66c-5536f90c1abePost:b8dc6de6-0979-49ac-8a3b-bc00a15c6f14">Re: What to do about a MOH who seems to show no interest in anything?!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate shopping with other people.  Maybe she doesn't like the idea of having to try on dresses and come out and show you. I say you should email her some pictures of what you have in mind, and make sure you are both on the same page.  If she's the only person standing up with you, <strong>how can she stick out like a sore thumb?</strong>  I think forcing her to go shopping with you when she clearly doesn't want to would not be fun or productive for anyone.
Posted by vixey[/QUOTE]

<div>I am wondering this as well. If she is the only person you want standing up next to you, then what does it matter about what dress she chooses? I mean, as long as she knows what a proper dress would look like, she can't really clash with you unless she wears white/Ivory, but thats a whole different issue. I think my suggestions would be about the same as the others. If you are concerned that she might show up in something inappropriate, or not to your liking, give her some parameters. I told my girls if they wanted to shop by themselves they could find a dress they like and send me a picture. If I knew they were shopping that day and when, I would then look out for their text and say yes or no. </div>

frogrobyn

I am not worried anymore. We talked and she described the dress she is looking at and it sounds perfect! So I am happy. I think it's just stress of planning this all myself. Thanks guys!