Moms and Maids

Another controlling mother...

My parents will be paying for most of our wedding and they have a very small budget.  My fiance's parents are very traditional and have said that they would only pay for the things they are traditionally supposed to pay for.  But they are going to be giving us a very large amount of money as a wedding gift which we can use as a down payment on a house. My fiance and I are also chipping in some of our own money on things.  My mom is not very happy about this and thinks they should help pay for the wedding with that money.  But my fiance's parents gave us the choice and we wanted to use it for a down payment instead of on the wedding.  Anyways, I feel like my mom is trying to push us into having to use the money from my FIL.  She keeps suggesting all sorts of things that we don't have money for in the budget or trying to add more people to the guest list.  It's been driving me nuts and I don't know how to tell her no or to stop without her getting mad and taking her money away.  We have had alot of control on things and I've given her her way on a couple guests she wanted to invite that I did not.  But it's getting to the point now where if we did add more guests, we would be out of our budget.  Any ideas on how to handle this situation???

Re: Another controlling mother...

  • sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honestly  I would decline her money. Its only going to get worse. I would save up some cash and have a small wedding you can afford .  I have  about 150 guest and honestly I am payin about $3000 . It can be done.  I think its smart to use  FILs cash for a down payment.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Yup, if she is paying, then she has the say so and control over the guest list. I would decline her money or I am sorry, you will be dealing with this throughout the planning of your wedding.

    My Mom is very controlling and manipulative, and I know she would have done the same thing should my parents have offered to pay for our wedding. We already knew we would have declined her help for precisely the same issues you are having.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree w/ pp's.... as much as it may stress you out, I would thinkin declining the money and doing things your own way might be an easier route. Good luck ! :)
  • sm5368sm5368 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would tell your mother if you want to add to the guest list, than you are paying for it.  Everytime she brings up something that she wants for the wedding.. ask her are you going to pay for that?  I've managed a very nice wedding with a guest list of 250 for less than $13,000.  As stated before, it can be done.  
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