Moms and Maids

Question :)

Hi,
    I have a large wedding party, and not all of my bridesmaids know each other and I know they don't have to be friends or get a long, yada yada.  I just was wondering what the bride usually does in these situations?  Should I send out a group email now at the beginning so they each have each other's full names and contact info?  or just not worry about it. 

Also- did you let your Bm's know about what they would be responsible for?  I want them to know they don't have to worry about going bankrupt lol.  There isn't really much they have to pay for.  So i"m not sure if i should ease their worries at all with that? Or again, not worry about it.  Advice! thanks :)

Re: Question :)

  • edited December 2011
    I gave all my BMs each other's names in case they wanted to get in touch with each other and that was it.  Some contacted each other on FB.

    I think all the information they need to know is what dress and possibly types of shoes they would need to purchase for the day.  Also, the time of the rehearsal (if you are having one) and when/where they need to be the day of the wedding.

    Everything else they can figure out.

    As far as breaking the bank:  it would be a good idea to talk to each one individually and get a budget before you go picking dresses  to make sure everyone can afford it.
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  • KateG528KateG528 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would just send out names and email addresses. If they want to give each other phone numbers let that be up to them.  Also, check with them about budget individully or send a group email saying "Please call me so that we can individually talk about what your budget is and come up with a good dress(es) to fit everyone's needs."

    Otherwise, just make sure they know where to be and when to be there. 

    Good luck! 
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  • edited December 2011
    When my FSIL was getting ready to start planning my shower and bach party, I gave her names and email addresses, and she went from there.

    Regarding finances, speak to each girl individually and see what she can afford before you make any decisions.
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  • edited December 2011
    I sent them all a facebook message regarding their dresses and some other stuff. Usually your MOH is the one who gets in contact with everyone about planning things like bridal shower and bachelorette.  My mother pretty much arranged my shower and got in touch with everyone, even though most of them weren't very responsive! Great group of people I got!Wink
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  • cusi229cusi229 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    haha thanks guys! :) 
  • edited December 2011

    None of my bridesmaids are friends with each other, either.  My sister is MOH, and I made sure that all of them had names so they could friend each other on FB.  I picked out dresses for them (they all like them) and told them they could do their own thing for shoes and such.  I went with each one of them seperately to be fitted for their dresses.  My fiance and I threw a Christmas/engagement party so at least they have met each other (with the exception of one bridesmaid that lives out of the city).  My MOH and mother are planning my shower, and I have given my other bridesmaids my MOH's number so they can call her if they want to help. 

    I am not really expecting much from my bridesmaids in terms of helping with the preparation of anything.  My one bridesmaid offered to create a "cupcake menu", and I was more than happy to turn that over to her.  I haven't gotten them together as a group since Christmas.  My mother and my MOH are my main "helpers" (and of course, my fiance!)


    I would count on your MOH to get the rest of the girls together if she needs help.  Otherwise, all you need to do is make sure they know all the pertinent details, and that you know they have their dresses and sech. 


    I think things will pick up as we get closer.  I will let them all know when the shower is, but it is up to them to call my MOH.


    Good luck! 

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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think that your idea about sending contact info is fine. Like pp said, if they decide to plan things for you, your MOH will probably be the one to set things up and will ask you if she needs more info. 

    What do you mean by "what they are responsible for"? For dresses, a bride should always get their budgets first. Other than that, the BMs are only responsible for showing up. They don't need to buy anything else. 
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  • edited December 2011
    If they are all on Facebook, you can try what I tried for my daughter, that is set up a "private" event...include all BM and MOH any questions or updates can be posted there. My daughter is trying to finish her exams, move with he FI, plan a wedding and plan another move to another country after her wedding in June. So needless to say she is very stressed right now and she is over whelmed ontop  of all phone calls about the wedding, so to eliminate the calls I thought this would be a great idea but her stress is so high she snapped on me for that :( even though I suggesested it and she thought it was a good idea at the time........ so I deleted it but it is a GREAT way to intro each other. Tech. today is awsome!
  • edited December 2011
    Two of mine are sisters, but otherwise, they don't know each other. I sent group e-mails informing them of dress info, when the dresses came in, and I will send them one closer to the wedding with time and location info. Budget discussions should be done privately and individually. I might take them all out for lunch the day before the wedding, but that's it. They will also see each other at my shower and b-party if they choose to attend. I woudn't worry about doing much more.


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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    2 college friends, 2 old school chums, 2 FSILs, they managed to get their email addresses at the engagement party and took it from there.
  • lsvenssonlsvensson member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Two of my four know each other, but I sent a group introductory e-mail welcoming them all to "Team Awesome", and I wrote up a blurb on each of them so they could kind of get to "know" one another before they start getting in contact with each other.  I included things like "This BM lives in X town, her favorite TV shows are X and X, and a fun fact about her is X."  Now that they know a little something abotu one another and they have each others' e-mail addresses, I'm hoping they'll go forth and kind of work together on things like bachelorette, etc. ;)
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