Moms and Maids
Options

Not all nightmares

I've been seeing a lot of FMIL drama posts. It just makes me think how lucky I am to have my FMIL. She's a real gem (and I mean that genuinely).

She's been nothing but supportive for our wedding. She isn't contributing anything or trying to butt her nose into our plans. She genuinely seems excited for this day. I even went shopping with her to find a dress for the event. It was a nice little outing and we managed to find her a beautiful blue dress that will flatter her. The whole trip, she was telling different store clerks that I was marrying her son.

So just wanted to make a post to recognize that not all FMIL are nightmares. :)
image
Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

image

Re: Not all nightmares

  • Options
    MIne is awesome, too!  She's very sweet, excited about the wedding, and eager to help in any way she can without being intrusive.  FI and I are taking care of mostly everything and aren't asking for input or help from anyone, but she wanted to do pew bows so we told her go for it, have fun.  She and FI's dad are also hosting the rehearsal dinner, which is very generous of them.
    They're such nice people, and I appreciate them more and more whenever I read some of these nightmare posts!
  • Options
    I love my MIL. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Options
    My FMIL is awesome! She even light fire under some butts of a few venues in her area that wouldn't respond to my phone/email requests for pricing. Her niece tried telling me how horrible wedding planning will be with my FMIL and when I replied that if she wants complete control, she can pay for the entire wedding. Or fight it out with my mom for control of the wedding, the niece seemed taken back that I would be ok with that.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-all-nightmares?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:445fd293-78ba-48a4-8f0e-a534b248db8ePost:91a249e9-cbc4-4b77-8fdd-cd8dc1701fae">Not all nightmares</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've been seeing a lot of FMIL drama posts. It just makes me think how lucky I am to have my FMIL. She's a real gem (and I mean that genuinely). She's been nothing but supportive for our wedding. She isn't contributing anything or trying to butt her nose into our plans. She genuinely seems excited for this day. I even went shopping with her to find a dress for the event. It was a nice little outing and we managed to find her a beautiful blue dress that will flatter her. The whole trip, she was telling different store clerks that I was marrying her son. So just wanted to make a post to recognize that not all FMIL are nightmares. :)
    Posted by swimmy1988[/QUOTE]

    <div>I love my FMIL. I even told me FI, I'm closer to FMIL than my own mother. But FMIL has always genuinely cared about how things are going, how am I doing, do we need anything, etc. She's just such a good person. This past weekend she even asked if I wanted to get schedule cake tasting session for FI and I. Since we've been struggling to find places within our budget. She is just super sweet! </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    That's great. Don't forget to tell your FMIL how you feel. She probably feels the same way about you.
                       
  • Options
    My FMIL is pretty cool.  She has some strange decor ideas involving birdhouses and buttons, but I know that she means well.  I have a friend getting married in 10 days, and her FMIL is even crazier than some of the ones I've seen written about lately.  

    My Mom is my issue.  She seems to think that my fellow church members should be donating everything for the wedding, because she seems to think that the only reason we're getting married is because we've been "pressured" into doing so. Never mind that my FI and I have been together for 6 years, and love each other and all.  It's those "darn bible thumpers" that talked us into it. She literally said, "they should pay for everything".  In other words, she doesnt' want to offer any help.  (Which I didn't count on her doing anyway)

    She also suggested I "rent" a dress... that's not exactly possible when you are short and plus sized... at least not if you want one that fits.... I know... I'm just so darn picky...So she will also not be coming for the dress shopping... 

    And I know, don't talk about the wedding to her, but she offers ideas anyway. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    My FMIL is also awesome. At first I was nervous about how much she wanted to be involved (she was sending me a lot of suggestions), but now, it's downright awesome that she wants to help so much! She asked me if she could help make the save the dates, and now she said that she wants to come down a couple of weekends to help put together the invitations too. She loves talking about the wedding and she bought such a cute dress and just has been so supportive.

    Lucky us!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-all-nightmares?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:445fd293-78ba-48a4-8f0e-a534b248db8ePost:dc795e54-4f89-495c-a926-9f9f8de20073">Re: Not all nightmares</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FMIL is pretty cool.  She has some strange decor ideas involving birdhouses and buttons, but I know that she means well.  I have a friend getting married in 10 days, and her FMIL is even crazier than some of the ones I've seen written about lately.   My Mom is my issue.  She seems to think that my fellow church members should be donating everything for the wedding, because she seems to think that the only reason we're getting married is because we've been "pressured" into doing so. Never mind that my FI and I have been together for 6 years, and love each other and all.  It's those "darn bible thumpers" that talked us into it. She literally said, "they should pay for everything".  In other words, she doesnt' want to offer any help.  (Which I didn't count on her doing anyway) She also suggested I "rent" a dress... that's not exactly possible when you are short and plus sized... at least not if you want one that fits.... I know... I'm just so darn picky...So she will also not be coming for the dress shopping...  And I know, don't talk about the wedding to her, but she offers ideas anyway. 
    Posted by lyndsay782[/QUOTE]

    I can imagine how you feel. It hurts when someone is throwing barbs your way for no real reason. My FMIL said that we should elope a few too many times for my liking. I finally said, "you say that a lot, why do you think we should elope?" And she was stunned. I don't think she realized how passive agressive this was.

    I have come to the conclusion that they disapprove of what my parents are spending on our wedding, and maybe partially feel bad that they can't/won't contribute more. They are pretty judgmental and puritanical about money, and I think they think my parent's money could have been better used elsewhere or even just given to us for a down payment on a house or something. What they don't understand is it has been my parents' dream to throw me a wedding, and they wouldn't just hand the money over as a gift. It is wedding or bust. It is also none of their business how my parents spend their money, just as it is not my parents' business that they have chosen to barely contribute.

    I found myself pretty frustrated for a while, but I comfort myself with the thought that once the wedding is over, this topic will be gone forever. I have to have them as my family forever, so I better focus on the positive. So that is what I do. I try to ignore what bothers me about them and focus on their excellent hosting, how kind they are to me, and how worldly they are in comparison to my own parents. I just don't want to be that girl who hates her MIL with a passion.
    Dreaming of our Hawaiian honeymoon! Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards