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how to tell a bridesmaid she's not the MOH

WasuekjijWasuekjij
in Moms and Maids
I picked three of my closest friends to be in my bridal party, and I know that my one friend assumes that either she will be my MOH, or else no one will. I've already asked my other friend to be my MOH though... how do I tell the other that I've picked someone else, without hurting her feelings?
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Re: how to tell a bridesmaid she's not the MOH

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    The only way that's OK is to come up with a way to tell her who the MOH is or that she's a BM.  Like, "Hey, do you have a budget for your BM dress?"  Or, "Would you mind if I gave your email to Julie the MOH?  She was asking for it to coordinate stuff."
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Banana.  It's never a good idea to be like, "Hey Steph, I knew you thought you were going to be my MOH but I chose Julie instead.  Sorry."  If you have to bring it up, do it like Banana suggested. 
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • suz62984suz62984
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't bring up the "this is why you aren't good enough to be my MOH" conversation. Those won't be your exact words but it will be the conversation.

    When you asked her to be a BM did you say: "Friend, will you be a bridesmaid?" If so, then she is a bridesmaid. If not, then she has reason for confusion.

    Don't say anything to her. When it comes to the programs and actual ceremony she will figure it out for herself. If she wants to throw pre-bridal events then that is fine considering that anyone can do that...even a guest.
    Anniversary
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    banana is just so smart.  I love her suggested wording.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • gracenamwandigracenamwandi
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tell-bridesmaid-shes-not-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:496881b2-cd6d-4294-8651-3e204b2ac943Post:7b7096f7-a8bc-4ebe-ac68-413c4cd9d95d">Re: how to tell a bridesmaid she's not the MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only way that's OK is to come up with a way to tell her who the MOH is or that she's a BM.  Like, "Hey, do you have a budget for your BM dress?"  Or, "Would you mind if I gave your email to Julie the MOH?  She was asking for it to coordinate stuff."
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
    I think that's a clever way to do it.
    http://petalsandchampagne.blogspot.com/
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