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Friends not answering whether they will be my bridesmaids :-(

So I have my maid of honor on board.  I called three of my close college friends to ask them to be bridesmaids.  They all live together in Maryland (I'm in Michigan), so I decided to ask them all at once so no one would be hurt they weren't asked first or hear about it from someone else.  So I talked to all three on speaker phone on Tuesday and asked them to be my bridesmaids.  The first response was "Awwww...." followed by an awkward silence.  I thought maybe it was a phone issue so I said "are you there?' They were, they said they were honored but said they had to "think about it". 

I've never heard of anyone saying this before.  I understand that it will involve travelling on their part, however, they are all from Michigan and often visit home that time of the year anyway.  Its in July and we are all teachers so it's not a matter of taking time off. 

It's Saturday and still no response from any of them.  It's driving me crazy.  What should I do?
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Re: Friends not answering whether they will be my bridesmaids :-(

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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_friends-not-answering-whether-will-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:49f27d2b-4b2e-40e3-b14b-233d36ca731aPost:f53f236c-3267-4d95-8d95-b704180aa464">Friends not answering whether they will be my bridesmaids :-(</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I have my maid of honor on board.  I called three of my close college friends to ask them to be bridesmaids.  They all live together in Maryland (I'm in Michigan), so I decided to ask them all at once so no one would be hurt they weren't asked first or hear about it from someone else.  So I talked to all three on speaker phone on Tuesday and asked them to be my bridesmaids.  The first response was "Awwww...." followed by an awkward silence.  I thought maybe it was a phone issue so I said "are you there?' They were, they said they were honored but said they had to "think about it".  I've never heard of anyone saying this before.  I understand that it will involve travelling on their part, however, they are all from Michigan and often visit home that time of the year anyway.  Its in July and we are all teachers so it's not a matter of taking time off.  It's Saturday and still no response from any of them.  It's driving me crazy.  What should I do?
    Posted by zoladall[/QUOTE]

    <div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">I would give them at least a week if not 2 to let them think about it. You already understand that it will cost them money to travel so you are going to have to be patient and let them decide if they can plan accordingly to save up. </div></div>
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    edited December 2011
    First of all I think asking them all over speaker phone at the same time was probably not the best idea. But that's neither here nor there. It's already done. It may be that they didn't want to answer one way or another in front of the others to pressure them into agreeing.

    If I were you I would call back and speak to each of them separately. Explain that you understand it is a financial commitment and you'll completely understand if they aren't able to do it (and please actually be understanding). Even though it's just them going home they may have other plans or ideas. Also let them know that if they can't do it then they will certainly be welcome as guests. If they agree it would also be a good time to ask them  to think about how much they could spend on a dress so you can start looking for things in their budget.
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    edited December 2011
    You have plenty of time. Don't pressure them into getting back with you immediately. It is actually advised you don't choose your WP until you are about 6-8 months out. People are busy and they may have more pressing issues going on in their lives right now. It is probably just something they have put on the back burner for now, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to be in your wedding.

    Like pp said, it could be a cost issue. If they agree to be in your WP, I would definitely start talking to them about budgets before moving forward with dress shopping, etc. Money is tight for a lot of people right now and since they would have to travel, they may want to make sure they are able to do so without telling you yes and then having to back out.
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Can I ask if you told them anything else besides simply "Hey guys! I'm getting married, want to be a bridesmaid?"

    I don't want to assume anything (which is exactly why I'm asking you if you did) but if you threw in anything else about the BM commitment (and some girls do this), it may have surprised them a bit that they need to think about it and would like to talk to you privately.

    I think you should give them another week or so, then call each girl back individually and ask them what's up. See what their concerns are and what their decision is.

    There are lots of reasons they may opt out of this. Try not to be too upset about it!
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    edited December 2011
        Kudos to the ladies for taking time to think about being a bridesmaid. While I understand their response was not typical, nor ideal I would say they understand the task of being a bridesmaid is full of duties. 
        Also, while I do understand your logic on how you went about asking these ladies I must say that was a bad idea. You lost the personal touch of asking each person. When I asked my bridesmaids I had a heart to heart talk privately with each one. I let each lady know how much they mean to me and why I chose them. You could have simply asked each "future bridesmaid" to respectfully hold their tongue about spreading the word until you had the chance to individually speak with everyone.
        Give them time, and then get back to each lady SEPARATELY!

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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_friends-not-answering-whether-will-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:49f27d2b-4b2e-40e3-b14b-233d36ca731aPost:02d6dff4-a50b-49a2-9e7a-88c5e2adac56">Re: Friends not answering whether they will be my bridesmaids :-(</a>:
    [QUOTE]There are no "duties" of a bridesmaid other than getting their attire and showing up on time. Anything else is optional on their part.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I was wondering if somehow "duties" came up in this phone conversation which is what I was trying to get at in my post. I don't want to assume, but it comes up a lot so OP, if you brought up any "duties" they'd have... well, I can see why they would want to think about it then.

    EDIT: That's all to say, I agree with you Retread.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_friends-not-answering-whether-will-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:49f27d2b-4b2e-40e3-b14b-233d36ca731aPost:02d6dff4-a50b-49a2-9e7a-88c5e2adac56">Re: Friends not answering whether they will be my bridesmaids :-(</a>:
    [QUOTE]There are no "duties" of a bridesmaid other than getting their attire and showing up on time. Anything else is optional on their part.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
    Being a bridesmaid is way more than getting a dress and showing up...

    In fact even the knot has a page on bridesmaid duties.

    <ul><li>Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, "Would you like me to help you shop for <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridal-fashion/bridesmaid-dresses.aspx">bridesmaid dresses</a>/stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?" instead of just, "What can I do?" <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other wedding accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes <em>before</em> the wedding day -- that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.) <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridal-shower-ideas.aspx">bridal shower</a> and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>If the maid/matron of honor isn't already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and bridal showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes); maintain RSVP lists. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of <em>all</em> prewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.) <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-resources/wedding-officiants.aspx">ceremony officiant</a>, or satisfy junk food cravings. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Stand in the receiving line at the bride's request. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Give the matron/maid of honor a break by helping to carry the bride's wedding gown train whenever necessary. Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked. Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to wedding gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress -- even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful. <p> </p><p> </p></li><li>Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day</li></ul><a rel="nofollow" href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a>


    Of ourse none of these are stritly REQUIRED. I was simply stating that acepting a bridesmaid position is something to consider.
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    edited December 2011
    PP...as you said all the "duties" that you quoted from TK is "optional".

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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_friends-not-answering-whether-will-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:49f27d2b-4b2e-40e3-b14b-233d36ca731aPost:87f75980-63b7-4813-a8db-7e088a849d75">Re: Friends not answering whether they will be my bridesmaids :-(</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friends not answering whether they will be my bridesmaids :-( : Being a bridesmaid is way more than getting a dress and showing up... </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In fact even the knot has a page on bridesmaid duties. </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, "Would you like me to help you shop for bridesmaid dresses /stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?" instead of just, "What can I do?"    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>Umm I have helped stuff invitations and I wasn't part of WP, I just liked to do help and do crafty stuff.</strong></span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"> Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other wedding accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes before the wedding day -- that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.)     </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>I did NOT do this for any of my friends, they had ideas and when they asked I gave an opinion.</strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.     If the maid/matron of honor isn't already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and bridal showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes); maintain RSVP lists.   </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>Yeah, my friend's BM's mom hosted her shower (ZOMG I'm a bad BM). </strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"> Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of all prewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.)   </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>This should be translate to "give as much money to the wedding industry as possible" because there are so many factors out there that people can't make preparty events its not even funny.</strong> </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">  Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the ceremony officiant , or satisfy junk food cravings.     </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>BS, this is what a WEDDING COORDINATOR is for, your friends are NOT slaves. I wish I could slap the knot for posting something like this. Unless there is an emergency like someone forgetting their dress back at the hotel/home no BM should be running around.</strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Stand in the receiving line at the bride's request.  </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>Because standing in a line for another half an hour is so much fun, greeting people who 90% don't know and will never probably see again.</strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">   Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book.</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>Never did this ever in all the weddings I've been in, I can't believe the knot actually has this.</strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">     Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner.   </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>I like to dance with music I enjoy, if its music I don't like I don't dance. WP dance is so boring to be in and watch, there is so much awkwardness for anyone that isn't dancing with their SO its the longest song in the people's life. I do not look out for people wanting to dance, we live in a society where people who want to dance will get up there and shake their thang. </strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">  Give the matron/maid of honor a break by helping to carry the bride's wedding gown train whenever necessary. </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>Well, unless the MOH or Bride asks me I will be enjoying the party.</strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked.</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>Yeah, the only person that can bustle the train is someone who has seen it done. My best friend had her MIL there when they showed how to bustle well she wasn't around and it took myself and 2 other BM to bustle the thing and it STILL wasn't correct. Finally her MIL and fixed it. </strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked. </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Totally fine with that.</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
    </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">    Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. <span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span">This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to wedding gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift.</span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong>Optional, some people like myself like to personalize things to give to people so yeah, this is not always the case.</strong></span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span">     Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress -- even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful. </span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>They should have make sure the Bride ASKS what their budgets are and then it wouldn't be as big a factor if the dress isn't your cup of tea. </strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span">    Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day <a rel="nofollow" href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx</a></span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>I have always helped my friends when their emotional drained from their planning but I have never been asked or offered to help them plan their wedding. </strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span"> Of ourse none of these are stritly <strong>REQUIRED.</strong> I was simply stating that acepting a bridesmaid position is something to consider.</span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><strong>Well besides actually buying a BM dress any person be it another friend, co-worker, family member, etc can do what's on the list, its not specifically for BMs. </strong></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10.8px;" class="Apple-style-span">
    </span></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Posted by jjones3636[/QUOTE]
    </div>
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