Last minute bridesmaid expenses with little to no money left for this.

tara5283

About a month ago I was let go from my job.  I am one of three bridesmaid. Her two sisters and me, her best friend. I have already purchased my dress, shoes, jewelry, paid for her shower. Also for her gift, I am a floral designer and will be doing her flowers as well. 

I told her older sister about my current unemployment the day of the shower which also happened to be the day of the party. About 3 weeks later the bride changes her mind about wanting a bachelorette party and informs her sister.   I received an email that her sister decided to book a hotel for the evening in the city and then treat the bride to spa services, and dinner and drinks after. 

I explained to her sister that unfortunately I just can't afford to be staying at a hotel and going to spa right now on my limited income. She said no problem but would still love me to be there. 

Yesterday I receive an email about all the services I owe for this weekend which come out to about $175-$200 per person. Under normal circumstances I would be able to afford this. I don't want to start an argument with the wedding two weeks away but I'm upset that this was so last minute and is asking for money that I don't have and I have already explained this. I feel like I was backed into a corner.  I was going to use what little spending money I had to stay in a hotel room the night of the wedding so I didn't have to take the long drive back so late but I won't be able to afford both. 

Am I being ridiculous and selfish??  How do I handle this?  Keep my mouth shut?

deepcovejackie

Oh no, no.  You are not required to fork out for the brides hotel room, spa services and drinks.  No.  You were asked and you politely declined.  Youve already done enough here.  Just send a note back saying unfortunately that expense is outside of your budget and best wishes to everyone.

Oh, and good luck sorting that out.

FutureJilliannD

I would remind her that you will be unable to come and to contribute due to your budget constraints. If you want to make the bride feel special, how about a nice card with a heartfelt personal message inside?

MairePoppy

No, you are not the ridiculous one in this situation. The bride's sister has a lot of nerve planning such an extravagant bp and then billing the bms for it. You've already explained your situation to her, so what on earth was she thinking?

Just email her back. Remind her of your previous discussion. Tell her you are not able to contribute, but you hope they all have a wonderful time. Do not feel guilty about using your own money for your travelling expenses.

And tell the sister good luck with her plans.

trix1223

You had explained earlier that your circumstances had changed.  I don't think you're under any obligation to attend or pay for a party that you can't afford.  Thank them for thinking of you, but remind them that you'll neither be attending nor contributing.  GL

hoffse

Totally agree with PP.  She basically sent you a bill for something you didn't ask for... Politely decline again.  If she continues to hound you about it, maybe talk to the bride AFTER the wedding.

StacyJenniges

You are not being rediculous or selfish, you already told them your predicament, and I think you should just explain that you are not able to come.  Hopefully your bride will understand that you just cann't aford it.  It is unfortant that you will not be able to be there but in this tryiing economy you also have to think about your finacial well being. 

Good luck and I hope you are able to find a new job soon.

jerseydevil

Good luck sorting this out! You should not have to contribute to an event that you declined due to a change in your financial situation. That's just backwards and stupid for them to expect that of you. If you were going, you would contribute - DUH.