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no moh

M&R7111M&R7111
500 Comments
in Moms and Maids
Just a quick question:

has anyone on here NOT had a MOH?  I don't plant to have one and FI doesn't plan on having a best man - just bride's maids and groom's men.

If you didn't have these people designated:

- did you ask anyone in your bridal party to sign the marriage license?

- can I just pass of my flowers to whomever is closest?

- people are asking me about my shower (I wish they would stop b/c it's none of my business) and who's planning it.  I gave my mom and bridal party everyone's names, e-mails, and phone numbers just in case anyone wanted to put something together.  Does this work?

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Re: no moh

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My sister and BIL didn't even have a WP, so of course you can do without a MOH.  I don't really remember what she did with her flowers, but I do that our mom and his dad signed their license which was nice. 

    And I think sis wore BIL's ring on her thumb and he wore her ring on his pinky until it was time for the rings part of the ceremony.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:a613d1e1-5524-4331-90a6-d64e40f60704">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]Any guest can be collared to sign the certificate. Asking your parents, or the oldest member of your family, is a nice touch. Pass the bouquet to someone, or just put it down. <strong>When asked about your shower, "I don't know that I'm having one."  Anyone so inclined can then offer to host.</strong>
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I've actually used that line - shrugged my shoulders and said "I don't know of any plans" and that seems to irritate whomever is asking; as if I <em>should</em> know. 
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    SSIL also didn't have a WP.  I think she passed her flowers off to her mom in the front row, not sure who signed the license.  (Check if your license even needs to be signed, we only needed one witness and some places don't require one at all.)  You can either ask a different BM than the one standing next to you to sign it, or just ask your parents or something to avoid playing favorites.

    As far as the shower, I think it's fine to put them in touch with each other and let them handle it.  They're asking you about it, so it's not like you're twisting their arm into throwing you something.
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  • DNAtimeDNAtime
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Any person who is an adult and witnessed the ceremony can sign your license. It might be a nice gesture to kind of spread the love, have one BM  hold your bouquet, and have another BM witness for you.  But it doesn't really matter. 

    Although please ask the person in advance. My FI was asked to witness the license after the ceremony had happened and he declined because he was so uncomfortable.

    Let your friends who are getting butt hurt over your shower to go suck it.  Don't let other people psych you out and showers aren't necessary anyway.

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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:ae6c1354-b6a9-4ec5-8d33-025d5f55d192">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]Any person who is an adult and witnessed the ceremony can sign your license. <strong>It might be a nice gesture to kind of spread the love, have one BM  hold your bouquet, and have another BM witness for you.</strong>  But it doesn't really matter.  Although please ask the person in advance. My FI was asked to witness the license after the ceremony had happened and he declined because he was so uncomfortable. Let your friends who are getting butt hurt over your shower to go suck it.  Don't let other people psych you out and showers aren't necessary anyway.
    Posted by DNAtime[/QUOTE]

    Actually, that works!  I had 3 BMs, but one, my cousin, is now going to get ordained and marry us!  She'll walk down the isle and then just stay in front.

    The other two can share those "duties" - one hold the flowers and the other sign the license. 

    And I will ask - so they won't be uncomfortable
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  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:65afe1a4-688f-46c9-8296-9a5e4369dd20">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]How is letting someone hold something for you, or signing a piece of paper, showing love to others??
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    That was unnecessarily catty and uncalled for.
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:eb4edb25-0e03-4ea5-8d49-7465a7bdf89b">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: no moh : That was unnecessarily catty and uncalled for.
    Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]


    Haha, you want to see unnecessarily catty and uncalled for?  You should see what women write on other boards!  If you're disliked all you will get is a bunch of name-calling and bullying.   God forbid you have a typo too!  You're automatically a moron.
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:65afe1a4-688f-46c9-8296-9a5e4369dd20">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]How is letting someone hold something for you, or signing a piece of paper, showing love to others??
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    To answer your question, asking someone to be the witness to your marriage seems like an honor to me.  I wouldn't ask one of the catering guys to "here sign this for me, will ya?".  I would ask someone I'm close with and love.  Isn't asking a friend or family member to be part of your wedding showing that you love them and want them in a special place for your marriage?    If that's not showing love, then why have a BP at all?  Maybe wedding venues can "rent out" BMs and GM for ya as part of a wedding package deal.

    You would be just lovely as a MOH, I can see it "Can you hold my flowers during the ceremony and sign the certificate?"  "Humph, <em>fine</em>". lol
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:7837b3d0-0cb1-43e0-a08c-f41badf5679f">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: no moh : Haha, you want to see unnecessarily catty and uncalled for?  You should see what women write on other boards!  If you're disliked all you will get is a bunch of name-calling and bullying.   God forbid you have a typo too!  You're automatically a moron.
    Posted by M&R7111[/QUOTE]
    Just to clarify, people have that opinion of you because you wished death upon your FI's previously abused and now neglected and untrained dog - not for a stupid spelling error.  Thought that should be pointed out. 
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    What attack?  I was the one who was called a moron.  I was called many things but I never called anyone a name ever.

    Your report was unfounded. If this is the case I can report many attacks against me. 

    Just thought I would point that out.
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  • autumnbreeze26autumnbreeze26
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're not having a wedding party at all. Just me, the groom and my son. Well, I guess having my son is somewhat of a wedding party, but other than that, no one. I've been wondering who to hand my flowers to, and Ilike the suggestion that a PP wrote of handing them to my mom. She'll like that.

    I'm sure one of your BM's won't mind holding your flowers. As for the marriage liscense, I would ask one of my parents or his parents.

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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:307e7c1d-4bdc-4f39-afa2-345ee132ed74">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're not having a wedding party at all. Just me, the groom and my son. Well, I guess having my son is somewhat of a wedding party, but other than that, no one. I've been wondering who to hand my flowers to, and Ilike the suggestion that a PP wrote of handing them to my mom. She'll like that. I'm sure one of your BM's won't mind holding your flowers. As for the marriage liscense, I would ask one of my parents or his parents.
    Posted by autumnbreeze26[/QUOTE]

    Thanks for the advice.  I was thinking of just placing the flowers on the ground next to me.
    Most of my question was really what to say to people who are asking about showers and such.  They are following tradition and assuming they will just talk to my MOH, then seem lost when I respond that I don't have one. 

    My bridal party is getting smaller and smaller it seems, though!  So my cousin is going to marry us - so she went from BM to officiant (both?) and now I just found out my SIL is going to have another baby (!) and the due date is our wedding date!  So while there is always a spot for her up there with me, it's totally up in the air if she'll be able to make it.
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  • john&juliejohn&julie member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was recently a BM in a wedding with no MOH, but each of the 3 bridesmaids took on a different role in the wedding.  Since there was no MOH, we stood in order by height; the tallest stood next to the bride, held her flowers, and walked with the best man.  The shortest was the one who gave a toast at the reception (though all 3 of us contributed to writing it and the BM who spoke stated that it came from all of the BMs), and I (middle in height) was the emcee at the bridal shower (yes, it was a HUGE shower and I even had a microphone and a podium - a bit intimidating, but I had a glass of champagne to get the ball rolling, haha).  Oh, and as far as the bridal shower was concerned, the bride's mother planned and did everything, but she wanted the bridal party to have a role, so on the invitations it said "hosted by the family of the bride and the bridal party."  We did what we could to help out, but two of us were from out of town and the bride's mother refused to let us contribute monitarily.
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  • autumnbreeze26autumnbreeze26
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, this is my second wedding. The first wedding I had a MOH who co-hosted the shower with my mom. Because this is my second wedding AND we're not having a WP, I'm thinking there won't be a shower. I'm certainly not expecting one, but my co-workers may throw a small office one for me. I guess I'm saying I don't have any advice.

    I know you should never expect a shower nor should you ask someone to throw one for you, but maybe you can talk to your mom about it? I don't know how close you guys are or if she's financially contributing to your wedding at all. Don't come right out and ask her if she's going to throw you a shower, maybe you can just ask her the question you asked here? Like, "Hey mom, since I don't have a MOH, what do I say to people when they ask me about the shower and such?" That might give her ideas or she could just have some good advice. And since she already has all of the info for who would be coming to the shower, she may be secretly planning one for you anyway. Who knows?

    Anyway, good luck. Laughing
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:d7818fb6-8b98-4560-a51c-3a6d2a47104d">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, this is my second wedding. The first wedding I had a MOH who co-hosted the shower with my mom. Because this is my second wedding AND we're not having a WP, I'm thinking there won't be a shower. I'm certainly not expecting one, but my co-workers may throw a small office one for me. I guess I'm saying I don't have any advice. I know you should never expect a shower nor should you ask someone to throw one for you, but maybe you can talk to your mom about it? I don't know how close you guys are or if she's financially contributing to your wedding at all. Don't come right out and ask her if she's going to throw you a shower, maybe you can just ask her the question you asked here? Like, "Hey mom, since I don't have a MOH, what do I say to people when they ask me about the shower and such?" That might give her ideas or she could just have some good advice. And since she already has all of the info for who would be coming to the shower, she may be secretly planning one for you anyway. Who knows? Anyway, good luck.
    Posted by autumnbreeze26[/QUOTE]

    Well, my concern isn't that I <em>won't </em>have a shower, it's where do I direct questions from my other BMs and friends who are interested in being involved with any shower.  I guess usually people would know who the MOH is and just get in touch with that person.

    I've told my mom that people are inquiring so that<em> if</em> anyone was obliged to host a shower, they would most likely go to her.  So I gave her the guest list with addresses.  She was fine with that and said she's pretty sure something will be planned.  I know FMIL keeps talking about a shower to people - according to the grapevine, she's assuming my mom won't plan one and she'll "have to do it all by herself!" (That's another issue and acutally another post somewhere on here)

    FI has a cousin who lives in New Orleans, and on a recent trip to NJ she asked who was throwing my shower because she financially wanted to  contribute (even though she couldn't make it up here for one).  I was kind of speechless because I didn't think I should know who and if someone was hosting a shower, let alone deal with money for it.  I just said I have no MOH, but I would give her contact info to my mom in case some planning was afoot. 
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    >>- did you ask anyone in your bridal party to sign the marriage license?

    Yes.  We had our mothers sign, and we thought that was a special moment between us and our mothers.

    - can I just pass of my flowers to whomever is closest?

    Yes.

    - people are asking me about my shower

    "No, I haven't heard anything, but my MOH is Katie Smith - you could contact her directly."
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  • M&R7111M&R7111
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:519faf6e-40a1-47c3-b7e8-07b3a15a17aaPost:6a1b0eae-7bf0-42f5-80b9-a9d769ff5c2c">Re: no moh</a>:
    [QUOTE] />>- - people are asking me about my shower "No, I haven't heard anything, but<strong> my MOH is Katie Smith</strong> - you could contact her directly."
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]


    Kristin - THAT is my question.  I have "no MOH"
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