So, my wedding is in March, on the beach, and our theme is The Great Gatsby, colors are Royal Blue and Champagne, all things agreed upon by my Fiance' and I right at the beginning of our engagement (in February of this year), and told to my mother and MOH (younger sister) and BMs many many times.
My Mother, Sister, BMs and I all live in different states, so we knew from the beginning that dresses could get a little complicated, if we didn't go to a 'standard' shop. I wanted to give them all the option, though, of finding something they loved as long as they followed the 'guidelines' and we could agree that the color was either right on, or, if we found similar dresses in contrasting colors, we could do that. The guidelines are:
-Royal Blue
-Just above or below the knee
-A chiffon-like material (as my dress is a chiffon/lace, and the theme lends to more of a flowing idea-especially with the beach, etc.
That was it. This was told to everyone several months ago, and I sent several emails of ideas, specific dresses I liked, asked what they all thought, etc. Seemed that we were all on the same page, but no one had really been able to find anything similar enough in color, etc. for us to settle on a designer or anything else. After talking with my BMs, and Mother, as well as my MOH (younger sister, whose style is quite different from mine) we decided that David's Bridal would simply be the best option, as I had actually found several dresses there that fit the criteria, and they are in all of the states where we live.
Since it's 5 months away, and we have not been able to all (or any of us) go on a shopping trip for the dresses, and wont be able to until 2 months before the wedding, we decided that my Mom and sister would go together and try them all on, and, with pictures, narrow it down to 4, and pick which one my sister would like to wear. About 2 weeks ago, my sister decided to (finally) look on the website and send me a few dresses that she liked.....
Each dress was a satin, cotton sateen, or other very straight material, had some kind of bubble skirt, and was several inches above the knee......obviously not any of the criteria which we have all agreed upon for months. I sent her a reply that said that, while the dresses were cute, and would look great on her, they did not fit any of the ideas that I had in mind, and again sent her the links to the dresses that I liked (which she had seen before, and had even picked out something similar on the jcrew site, but they did not carry the dresses in a similar color), and asked her to please look at them, as well.
Of course, she completely ignored my email, cried to my Mother, telling her that I don't like any of her ideas for my wedding, and that she hated not only the dresses that I had picked out, but also the color (even though she owns-and wears-3 dresses in the same color), and that I was stressing her out because our styles are so different (she's very modern and a bit rigid, and mine is very classic and easy going), etc......
Anyway, I sent my Mother the pictures of both of the dresses, and reiterated what we had all *known* (or so I thought) were the 'criteria' for the dresses that I wanted, but that I was willing to look at the other styles, but I really wanted her to try them all on (only about 7 or 8 total) and take pictures, and we could see what did and didn't work. Sounds pretty reasonable, right?
Today, the 2 of them went to the store (I was at work all day and couldn't get the photos until tonight, nor get to my phone, so I didn't know how any of it was going), and sent me photos of the dresses that were tried on, and which ones they liked.
The only dresses tried on, were the ones that my sister picked out, and they decided that they liked them better in navy blue (which looks almost black in the material those dresses are in) than the color that we had picked out.....
WTF? I don't understand how I could have been more easy going and communicated better about it. My feeling was that, I am asking them to pay for a dress, I don't want to pick something out that they all hate, but the color looks gorgeous on all of the girls, and the styles I picked out had something flattering and lovely for each of them to choose from....should I just have gone and picked out 1 dress and said "Go try it on to make sure, send me a picture, and if there's nothing horrid about it, that's what you're wearing"?
I am in tears, and I don't get frustrated about this kind of crap, but I feel as if I am having to pander to the wishes of my MoH/sister for my own wedding. I've already had to put up with her moodiness about wanting to plan a bachelorette party, and then all of a sudden not wanting to, and getting excited about wedding stuff, and saying things like "Well, you're already living together, so it's not like it's that special."......I love my sister and I'm used to her inherent need to be the fashion/trend queen of the family, and moodiness, etc. but she's giving me no help-and my mother seems to be encouraging her lack of 'understanding' about my wishes for my wedding....
am I being unreasonable? I honestly don't get it.....