Matron of Honor Drama

sarmamfar

I have always thought of my best friend of 13 years as my Maid of Honor, however the last few years we have sort of been going our seperate ways because she still has a lot of growing up to do. She is not very girly and has completely opposite taste than me, so I know the wedding process will be a stressful one with her.

On the other hand, my other really good friend of 11 years has already been married and has been SO helpful through this whole process thus far. I feel that I should make her my Matron of Honor because we have become a lot closer over these last couple years, but if I do then my other best friend will be crushed.

What should I do?

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:53ba1da3-f244-470d-b10c-c08fac41d4b7Post:54598bb5-6b58-48ad-a6d2-976216fdeb7a">Matron of Honor Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I have always thought of my best friend of 13 years as my Maid of Honor, however the last few years we have sort of been going our seperate ways because she still has a lot of growing up to do. <strong>She is not very girly and has completely opposite taste than me, so I know the wedding process will be a stressful one with her. On the other hand, my other really good friend of 11 years has already been married and has been SO helpful through this whole process thus far.</strong> I feel that I should make her my Matron of Honor because we have become a lot closer over these last couple years, but if I do then my other best friend will be crushed. What should I do?
Posted by sarmamfar[/QUOTE]

How does her not being girly affect the process at all? And what wedding process? She just needs to show up on your wedding day in the correct dress, possibly fix your train and/or hold your flowers as well. Anything else like planning parties for you, shopping with you, etc., is optional. Her girliness should not even come into it at all. Your friendship with her should be the reason you ask her.


Likewise, how "helpful" someone is or if they've been married should not be the deciding factor. BM's shouldn't be picked for how much stuff they can do for you. If you truly feel you are closer to girl #2, then by all means ask her. But if you are asking her because of these previously mentioned reasons, that's just silly.

Mrs.B6302007

Ditto summer. 100%.

 

em01092

Ask who you feel closer to, not who you think will throw you the most ballin' parties. 

SilverLining1

You pick the person closest to you. There really shouldn't be any "process" that this person is involved in. They get the dress, they show up. Ideally, they would want to be more involved, but it's not like she's going to be with you at every tasting or venue visit. That's your FI's job. If you honestly can't choose, why not ask both girls?

4LeafClover3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:53ba1da3-f244-470d-b10c-c08fac41d4b7Post:f127d248-ebae-4f0e-b31d-9f183612b101">Re: Matron of Honor Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Matron of Honor Drama : How does her not being girly affect the process at all? And what wedding process? She just needs to show up on your wedding day in the correct dress, possibly fix your train and/or hold your flowers as well. Anything else like planning parties for you, shopping with you, etc., is optional. Her girliness should not even come into it at all. Your friendship with her should be the reason you ask her. Likewise, how "helpful" someone is or if they've been married should not be the deciding factor. BM's shouldn't be picked for how much stuff they can do for you. If you truly feel you are closer to girl #2, then by all means ask her. But if you are asking her because of these previously mentioned reasons, that's just silly.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

This exactly.

ellietachi

If you're really that torn, you can have a Maid of Honor AND a Matron of Honor. No biggie.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:53ba1da3-f244-470d-b10c-c08fac41d4b7Post:54598bb5-6b58-48ad-a6d2-976216fdeb7a">Matron of Honor Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I have always thought of my best friend of 13 years as my Maid of Honor, <strong>however the last few years we have sort of been going our seperate ways because she still has a lot of growing up to do</strong>. She is not very girly and has completely opposite taste than me, so I know the wedding process will be a stressful one with her. On the other hand, my other really good friend of 11 years has already been married and has been SO helpful through this whole process thus far. I feel that I should make her my Matron of Honor because we have become a lot closer over these last couple years, but if I do then my other best friend will be crushed. What should I do?
Posted by sarmamfar[/QUOTE]

This comment makes me wonder how old you both are.

Canaries

i had the same kind of dilemma. i have  a bf that i have known for over 20 years and now we r closer than ever but when i first got engaged 6 years ago(i know long time.we did things backwards.) i ahve another friend who at the time when me and my fiance got together was my bf and helped me thru so much with him adn our relationship but within the last 2 years we havent been the closest but i know i can call her anytime i need her for something at the time i got engaged i had asked her to be my maid of honor. but fast forward 6 years(we are finally getting married in october) i did not know who to pick my friend from 20 years ago who was also there with me thru the relationship or my other friend that the friendship is not as close as it once was. so i decided because my friend of 20yrs is married and the other isnt that i have a matron of honor and a maid of honor. that ways it honors both of them as very special girls in my life and that have been there with me over the years with my fi.