Moms and Maids

Wannabe Bridesmaid... vent...

Okay so sorry if this goes on and on ... but I have a friend, whom I am not very close with and so when I went and choose my bp, I choose my friends I was closest to and my cousin (who I spent many many summers and school breaks with when we were little) and my Fiance's sister (whom I have been fortunate enough to know since she was 11 years old) and I didn't chose my other friend to be a bridesmaid and now she just goes on and on about how she put me in her wedding, even though I was out of state because we were best friends (at the time, unfortunately we aren't anymore) and how it was such a hard decision and she had to run the risk of upseting her family for not choosing her other cousins and possible ruin a friendship because she choose me over the other two girls.

I had never asked her to be a BM before my Fiance and I made the decision  to have only 4 for each side. However, I did ask her if she would allow her daughter (who'll be 4 in time for the wedding) to be my flowergirl, I mean frankly if the roles were reversed I'd be honored that my daughter was being asked to be the flower girl despite not being asked to be a bm ...

And need I mention every chance she gets she reminds of how I apparently ruined her wedding? She claims I was a major bridesmaidzilla (I wasn't, I didn't even put my two cents in on the dress, I told her what dress do you like best, it's your wedding, what type of updo do you want me to have, how do you want me to do my makeup) ... I'm sorry it's just really stressful ... and I think it would only be worse if I hadn't asked her daughter to be my flower girl! I'm sorry I didn't mean to go off like this but it really pisses me off! Everyone should be old enough to know that you can't include everyone in your wp ... you have to make some deep cuts and sometimes they hurt but I would hope we'd all be old enough to not continously go on and on about it ...

Re: Wannabe Bridesmaid... vent...

  • edited December 2011
    What a grouch!  I would just say that you will probably need her to focus on her daughter that day instead of worrying about you!  You will have plenty to worry about and the parents of the ring bearer's and flower girl's usually treat it as a momentous occasion so she should just focus on that anyways.  
  • edited December 2011
    When she makes the comments about bridesmaid-zilla just say "i'm sorry you feel that way" and change the subject. When she comments about leaving people out to include you in her wedding just say "I'm sorry you feel hurt by my decision. That wasn't my intention. I wish we could have everyone we loved in the wedding but unfortunately we cannot." change the subject. Once she starts getting these repetitive answers that signal she defiantly won't be getting her way she should calm down.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    i would cut her and her daughter off and tell her frankly that shes ruining your wedding now because of this whole thing. i think its ridiculous that she would even mention that you were a bm and she NEEDED to be in your wedding too. i'd tell her that you guys have went your seperate ways and aren't the best of friends anymore. if shes putting this much stress now on your wedding planning, imagine what it'll be like on the day. you dont need her complaining and fighting with you about this. the whole process isnt going to be as pleasant as you want it to be whether or whether not shes your bm, i think she'll probably still complain.
    In the confusion we stay with each other, happy to be together, speaking without uttering a single word -Walt Whitman

    Rachel & Jared est. November 11, 2006

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