Moms and Maids

bridesmaid drama

So I told my friend that she could be my maid of honor. But I have changed my mind. How do I tell her? or What? I dont know what to do.. Please Help

Re: bridesmaid drama

  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:54b255c7-a6ef-43b0-b84a-bc666d591830Post:d57b10a2-9876-4417-9988-4a4fe8c70ccf">bridesmaid drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I told my friend that she could be my maid of honor. But I have changed my mind. How do I tell her? or What? I dont know what to do.. Please Help
    Posted by Kbaskett1023[/QUOTE]

    <div>Do not demote her. It will only end badly for you. </div>
  • edited December 2011
    You cannot remove her unless you want thing to ends between the two of you and you to look bad/bridezilla-ish to everyone.
  • edited December 2011
    You absolutely cannot demote her.  It's very rude and poor etiquette.  If you demote her I can assure you that it will end the friendship.

    Why have you changed your mind?
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  • Kbaskett1023Kbaskett1023 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our friendship has change. We are not as close as we use to be. I still want her in my wedding as a bridesmaid. But not as maid of honor.
  • edited December 2011
    Still no.  You can't "demote" your friend either without looking like giant brat.
  • vsgalvsgal member
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Why do you think the friendship has changed?
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  • KnibletKniblet member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you think your friendship has changed now, wait for it to get MUCH worse or end completely if you demote her.

    You asked her and now you are stuck with her.  Demoting her would make you look HORRIBLE.
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  • edited December 2011
    You still have time. The friendship may get worse just as it might get better; then you would feel awful for demoting your friend.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Demoting her means ending the friendship.  There's no way around that.  Either it was bad enough that you want her out of your life entirely, which means she won't even be invited to the wedding, or it wasn't that bad, which means you need to suck it up and deal with your decision if you still want to be friends.
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:54b255c7-a6ef-43b0-b84a-bc666d591830Post:671527ff-9089-4322-98a9-d3098c118031">Re: bridesmaid drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our friendship has change. We are not as close as we use to be. I still want her in my wedding as a bridesmaid. But not as maid of honor.
    Posted by Kbaskett1023[/QUOTE]

    Not that it matters, but how has your friendship changed?
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Your wedding is 8.5 months away.  That is plenty of time to fix the friendship.  Wouldn't that be better than giving a dear friend a very public slap across the face?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:54b255c7-a6ef-43b0-b84a-bc666d591830Post:a0cce8c6-f882-4495-b14b-8725541cef33">Re: bridesmaid drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your wedding is 8.5 months away.  That is plenty of time to fix the friendship.  Wouldn't that be better than giving a dear friend a very public slap across the face?
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

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  • edited December 2011
    If if that bad leave her as the MOH but have your bm's help out more if they are willing.
    Also try talking to her if your friendship has changed, leave wedding out just talk as friends, weddings tend to change friendships, or put them in a clearer picture.
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