FI's dad remarried a little less than a year ago. His parents had a bitter, ugly divorce and still aren't playing nice. Not to mention, his dad married the "other woman" and has been a far better father to her kids than his own. FI and I are not close to her. And I often get the impression the feelings are mutual. We are all cordial, but never going to be best friends.
Given the facts that we were engaged already when they got married, FI does not consider her his "step mom," she's had no role in his upbringing, and it would completely crush his mother - her name was not published in our engagement announcement in the paper. A lot of thought went into that decision and it was not malicious in intent.
I'm now hearing through the grapevine that she's royally pissed. The aguement that I heard was that "all of the other couples in the paper had step-parents listed." I sent her an email saying we had no ill will and apologizing that this upset her. I said I would be more than willing to talk about this with her and gave her my phone number (which we have never exchanged). I did that Sunday night and have heard no response yet.
Did we do wrong? She she have been included? Do I now risk a battle with his mother by putting her name in the programs, introducing her at the reception, giving her a corsage, etc?