I just wanted to say that everyone on this board and every other was right in saying "wait" to pick the bridal party. I fought and said "why no.. I've known my friends forever and ever" and I have, and I love every single one of my bridesmaids....
But As you all told me I would. You were right. I Can not stand one of my bridesmaids now-- and there is nothing I can do about but suck it up and smile pretty.
Basically, she went through a big "life change" (ie changed what side of the team she was batting for) and now has this super self conscious thing that everywhere she goes, everyone is talking about her.. etc. I have been sooo supportive through the whole thing. But honestly, she is nasty and mean.
I don't know, she has a lot going on, I feel like I want to help but....
but shes soooo mean. And I cant talk about wedding stuff ever. Which I try to keep to a minimum outside of the "knot" world anyway-- since its annoying to non-brides.. but she constantly says "how can you think about getting married, when I can't!! Its not legal for me to get married, and you should support that-- I don't want to talk about marriage until I can get married"
Ok, I understand that so I just stopped talking about wedding, and about her relationships, and asking about her issues with her parents, then I stopped talking to her about school because that was always an issue because her parents hate her major (they paid for her to go to a Really hard-to-get-into art school which she graduated from, and now she wants to be a dentist and is back in school)...
she's just SOOO confused about everything,. and nasty and mean, and decided that she shouldn't talk to her "friends" for a few months while she figures out her life.
In the mean time I moved on all fine and dandy. Then she called me at 3 am and left me a voicemail (albeit drunk) that we were going in different directions if I was "down for the whole marriage family thing".. .and she didn't believe in it.
Sorry this is rambling
I don't know, I know I can't "kick her out" or what do some girls say ask her to "bow out" (I think they think that sounds nicer). BUT I just want to say that everyone can say a big "WE TOLD YOU SO" to me!! er.
because honestly its not about what sex she prefers to date, or that shes back in school and has a lot going on, or her confidence issues at this point-- its mostly about the fact--that shes not a close friend anymore- because she continually pushes me love and support away.
and I used to write in to girls that wanted to kick out a bridesmaid and be liek "WELL you were too hasty!!! You can't kick her out now. deal with it" and I just wanted to say that now thats me
Still Waiting 129