First dress appointment - only want mom and sister present

LudaSeka

Hi everyone!

So I booked my first appointment for the end of the month at Kleinfeld.
Ideally, this is something I would really like to experience with my mom and sister, and not bring a whole entourage like some brides tend to do.

I know my FMIL and FSIL will be disappointed if I do not invite them to come along. FSIL even told me awhile back that if I plan on going to Kleinfeld she would want to come because she wants to be part of the experience.

I don't mind bringing other people for fittings (if I even purchase the dress there), but I really want to save this first time as one of those "mom/sister bonding" experiences.

And although I get along with them really well, I have to admit that both are very opinionated and do not hide how they really feel too well. If they dislike something but decide not to express it verbally, it will be clear as day on their faces anyway. I want to avoid that kinda vibe.

What do you guys think? I haven't told them that I booked the appointment yet. Should I include them to avoid hurt feelings? Would it be rude/inconsiderate of me not to?
I will point out that FSIL is married and FMIL already experienced this type of thing with her own daughter.

Thanks girls!

bablingbrooke

Just go to the appointment; you're not required to let them know that you're going, and you're not required to invite them.  If they find out and ask, just say that you wanted some special time with just your mom and sister for the first trip.  If they make a big deal out of that, they've got some major issues.  I think it's smart to only bring one or two people with you.

Robyn5298

I agree with PPs, just invite your mom and sister and don't publicize that you've made your appointment.  I only brought my Dad with me when I was shopping (Mom lives far away) and it was great - I didn't want a big group with me either.

SSaltzman87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_first-dress-appointment-only-want-mom-sister-present?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:60577d83-0426-4648-9db4-62375a0eab18Post:e80cd95f-ed79-4b3f-99e2-b37f3a8f2b1e">Re: First dress appointment - only want mom and sister present</a>:
[QUOTE]Just go to the appointment; you're not required to let them know that you're going, and you're not required to invite them.  If they find out and ask, just say that you wanted some special time with just your mom and sister for the first trip.  If they make a big deal out of that, they've got some major issues.  I think it's smart to only bring one or two people with you.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

Exactly. If you go again, then they could go with you.

orangecrush32

I don't think there's anything wrong with having it with just your mom and sister. Let FMIL and FSIL know that you wanted something special with your mom etc etc. And that they can come to the next one.

Habs2Hart

I don't think it's the place of the FMIL to assume they get to go to dress appointments.  It's your mom's place.  I know mine would be disappointed because we are really close and it's something she's looked forward to for a long time.  When my brother got married, she didn't know what his wife's dress looked like until she walked down the aisle. 

tldh

Don't feel like you have to invite them for two reasons

1.  The more people you have with you, the more likely you won't be able to decide what you like because of too many opinions flying around.

2.  A lot of mom's dream of the day they go wedding dress shopping with their daughter.  We have heard from brides and MOBs in the past who were hurt that the bride was inviting everyone to come with her to go dress shopping.

Mom and sis are more than enough and since they are the two you thought of to bring with you, obviously they are the ones whose opinions matter to you.

sprtychick10

100% agree with all the PP'S. I wouldn't even let them know you are going. It's all up to you who you want there and if you are going to be uncomfortable in the slightest with them being there, then don't ask them for this first visit. Like you said, there will always be more appointments they can go to later after this first visit to the shop is done.

klokowac

I recently purchased my dress, and when I was planning the trip, I took a lesson from "Say Yes to the Dress": The fewer people you invite, the better. When you begin to involve friends, in-laws, etc. you will have alot of differing opinions about your dress. Ultimately having a limited number of opinions will make your experience less stressful and much more fun. I initially planned to only invite my mom and sister, but when I realized my grandmother was going to be in town she was invited as well. It was a wonderful bonding experience (tears were shed) and something I can not imagine sharing with anyone else. I would hope that you FIL's would understand that is an intimate experience that you only want to share with your mom and sister. Tell them that you didn't invite them because you wanted this to be a special moment for just you, your mom, and sister. You only get one moment like this in your life, so make it what you want it to be. If you're willing, maybe show them pictures of the dress so they can be in-the-know.

jemmini6

I only had my mom and sister there for my first shopping experience and it was nice.  The next time I went, I invited one of my other BM's also.  It was the perfect amount of input.

I only plan on having very few people even know what my dress looks like before the big moment as I'm coming down the aisle.  So far only my mom, sister and BM have seen it.  Although I do plan on showing my FMIL and FGMIL my dress the next time they are in town since I get to pick it up this weekend.  Aside from that, I want the dress to be a surprise to everyone, which doesn't work so well when you have half your guest list shopping with you.

shadowkat08

I too agree with PPs. 

If you think your FMIL and FSIL are rational enough, sit down with them and explain that this is a special time for you, your mom and your sister. Then (if you wish) invite them to come along for the fittings.

If not...just don't tell them. They'll get over it eventually.

srm1987

I agree with everyone as well! When I go shopping for my dress only my mom and MOH is coming with me. I don't care that my FI is mad that I'm not inviting his mom to go too. It's MY dress and she isn't going to help with it, other than make little comments that could get me in worse trouble with the FI than just letting him be mad about her not going! I'm sorry that her one daughter didn't include her in her first wedding and that the other daughter hasn't gotten married yet, but I'm not YOUR daughter, and this is just for me and my mom. No one else is going to see my dress either until I walk down the aisle, just MOH and my mom will see it. You can't let what other peoples feelings influence you on how/what YOU want for YOUR wedding, even if they are helping to pay for it. Its your wedding and should be everything you dreamed it would be, not what they think it should be!