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Mini Vent: Silent Mom

linguo42linguo42
100 Comments
in Moms and Maids
So Mom, likely from reading too many bridal magazines/watching too many TLC wedding shows, has been horrified at some of the control-freak mother stories and is trying extra hard to let me take the lead and pick what I like in all aspects of the wedding. I appreciate this, I really do. I'm glad she wants me to have the wedding I've been envisioning.

But good god, woman, when I ask you for your opinion, I actually want it!

This is the conversation that happened every five minutes while meeting with vendors today:

Vendor: What do you think of This vs. That?
Me: I think I prefer That over This...but I'm not sure. Mom, what do you think?
Mom: ...
Vendor: Or we could do The Other. I just realized that if you go with That, you may run into Certain Issue.
Me: Well, in that case, I'd rather go with This. I definitely prefer This to The Other. Mom, any input?
Mom: I actually liked This better anyway, I just didn't want to say anything.
Me: Aaaaargh, but I asked you to!!! *tears hair out*

Ah well, as long as I can eventually coax opinions out of her I still much prefer it to if it were the other way around...let's not even go there.
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Re: Mini Vent: Silent Mom

  • Victoria CameronVictoria Cameron
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well instead of running into this issue often with your mom, maybe you should consider talking to her about it.  Obviously tell her you appreciate she isn't like those moms on TV but that her input/opinion when asked for is truly appreciated.  She might love that you want more of her opinion and make the wedding planning more fun for you both.  Good luck and congratulations!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited December 2011
    Why don't you sit down and talk to her prior to going to meet with the various vendors so that you can have clear ideas of what she envisions certain things to be?
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sit her down and tell her that while you appreciate her trying not to step on any toes, when you ask for her opinion you really and truly want to know what she thinks. Remind her that you are taking her along to meet with vendors because you value her opinion and really want her to be a part of this process with you. It should make her feel better and proud that you want her help.
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    She's your mom, talk to her.  Tell her how much you value her input and that while you appreciate that she's trying not to be controlling, you really do want to hear what she has to say.
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  • linguo42linguo42
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The problem is I already have talked to her about it, several times. She knows I think she has great taste and that I value her opinion.

    If it were any about ANY other topic, she would be bursting with suggestions/comments, but for some reason the fact that it's our wedding has her clamming up.
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