Moms and Maids

Groom's mother can't get a visa to attend wedding

My daughter's fiance is originally from Colombia, South America. He is here on a student visa and hasn't seen his mom, dad or younger sisters in 6 years. His mom just applied for her visa to come to the wedding which is in 3 weeks (the entire family tried back in Oct but got turned away because the line was too long). In that time, finances have prevented his dad (his parents are divorced) from being able to afford the visa fee. His mom thought that by leaving his sisters behind in Colombia- she would have a better chance of getting her visa accepted. The US consulate would see that she has a reason to return to Colombia.
For whatever reason, her visa was DENIED . I can't imagine how my future son-in-law feels. I was telling someone at work
 about it today and I just started crying. In my daughter's words "A mother should be able to see her son get married".
Does anyone have any ideas how we can incorporate his parents in the ceremony/reception. We already have their names on the programs, but any other ideas?
Has anyone used skype for their ceremony? I thought it would be really nice if they could see the ceremony live instead of waiting for the video. How did it  work out if you did use it? Is there any other similar program that might be a little easier?
Thanks. I only have a few weeks to figure something out.

Re: Groom's mother can't get a visa to attend wedding

  • edited December 2011
    I was going to suggest Skype, but you beat me to it!  

    That's such a shame, I feel really bad for you daughter's FI because his mother should absolutely be able to see him get married.  

    Any type of webcam service would probably work fine.  A lot of computers have webcams built in now, so you might even be able to use something simple like instant messenger.  When FI and I were living in separate cities (he was my BF at the time) we used the video feature on the instant messenger service on our Macs to talk to each other.  Skype might be a bit more reliable, though.  Or, if someone has a 3G phone, you could try UStream.  They can stream the ceremony through their phone onto a website that his mother could watch.  All she would need is the link.

     Best of luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    Skype is actually pretty easy to use, although sometimes the sound quality is not great, you just need an internet connection. I don't know what your venue internet capacity is like, so just in case, I would try to have one or two people with Skype on their smartphones with unobstructed views.

    Also, maybe you can set up Skype for the groom while he finished getting ready so his parents can give him some words of wisdom. It also would be nice if you could set it up at the begining of the reception so they can congratulate him.

    Oh, and maybe you can get a video-recording from the parents, something similar to a toast, sometimes there are technical difficulties with the internet and they might want to make 110% sure that they can send their best wishes at the reception.


  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    A poster on the Etiquette board, named Snippy, used a webcam for her wedding because they had a lot of international friends that could not come to the wedding. you could page here there and see what service she used.
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  • StephieBowStephieBow member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would say to try Skype or some sort of web cam function.  Just need to make sure you have a high speed connection at both ends so it works properly. 

    If your ceremony/reception venue doesn't have wifi you can always purchase one of the turbo sticks that the internet providers have now so you can have high speed wherever you go.
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  • djoann958djoann958 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    These are ALL really great suggestions. I was talking to my daughter and her fiance and they are both so excited about these options! Thank you all so much! It helps a little to know that she can at least see the ceremony live.
  • edited December 2011
    It might be too late but have you tried your US Senator's office to see if they can do anything to help with the Visa?   I'd suggest Sen Casey because Sen Toomey is still setting up his own staff.  Asking never hurts.
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  • edited December 2011
    djoann, this happens fairly regularly in the country my FI is from (India).  I know that to celebrate with friends and family who can't afford to travel or can't obtain a visa, often some couples have their wedding in the States and then also have a party in India.

    I know that second receptions aren't always beloved around here, but usually in this instance all of the guests received an invitation to the wedding in the States, and the wedding is more like dinner/dancing than a traditional reception (the bride wears formal wear, but usually not her wedding sari, for example).

    Is there any way your daughter and FSIL can go celebrate with his family in Colombia too?  Throw a party for those who were invited but could not attend?
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_grooms-mother-cant-visa-attend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6226e86c-a613-48d7-9c95-f76ff6f72495Post:b61f9d42-25af-4b5d-8826-50ab6825cb5a">Re: Groom's mother can't get a visa to attend wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE] I know that second receptions aren't always beloved around here, but usually in this instance all of the guests received an invitation to the wedding in the States, and the wedding is more like dinner/dancing than a traditional reception (the bride wears formal wear, but usually not her wedding sari, for example).Posted by andamu[/QUOTE]

    Actaully, in this situation, I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone objecting to a second reception.
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  • djoann958djoann958 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You ladies are wonderful! I just sent an email to Senator Casey's office. Maybe he can help. A second reception sounds great! I think they are planning on doing that at some point.
  • edited December 2011
    Not a big picture idea, but just a suggestion...

    If you can't get things worked out and she can't get there, is there any way they can get a florist near her to send her a corsage or a bouquet in flowers similar to the wedding flowers or something? Maybe that's silly because she can't really wear the corsage TO anything, but I know if I was supposed to be in a wedding and couldn't for some reason and so the bride did that for me I would be very touched.
  • LHB2011LHB2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I just sent you a PM.
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  • beamer84beamer84 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We looked into options for broadcasting the wedding to my DH's grandparents, who are too old to travel. You should contact videographers. They should be able to set you up with a live streaming video of the ceremony so that others can view it on a password-protected site. We talked to one videographer about doing this, and he had a couple of different options (video quality, whether it was jsut streaming or also recorded, etc).  We decided not to do it after all, but the option is out there.
  • garcias1garcias1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Can't his parents just come to the US for a vacation, or do they definitely have to get a visa?  I thought visas were for long-term stay in the US (for work, school, volunteering, etc).  If they are coming for one or two weeks, I didn't think they needed a visa, just a passport.
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  • djoann958djoann958 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When people in the US want to go on vacation- we pay some money and get a passport. Simple. Apparently- in some other countries, when people want to come to the US, they need a visa- whether it is a short or long term visit. There are different kinds of visas- travel, student, work etc. I have been getting a crash course in all of this and it makes me so angry. The US seems to think that everyone that comes to this country wants to stay. Well, they don't. Some people just want to come see their son get married and then go home- back to the daughters she left behind  in Colombia. A stranger in the US consulate makes that decision. I feel like these people are prisoners in their own country.
  • Cynthia1207Cynthia1207 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_grooms-mother-cant-visa-attend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6226e86c-a613-48d7-9c95-f76ff6f72495Post:cc1af416-e995-4194-9faa-59c441623f56">Re: Groom's mother can't get a visa to attend wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]When people in the US want to go on vacation- we pay some money and get a passport. Simple. Apparently- in some other countries, when people want to come to the US, they need a visa- whether it is a short or long term visit. There are different kinds of visas- travel, student, work etc. I have been getting a crash course in all of this and it makes me so angry. The US seems to think that everyone that comes to this country wants to stay. Well, they don't. Some people just want to come see their son get married and then go home- back to the daughters she left behind  in Colombia. A stranger in the US consulate makes that decision. I feel like these people are prisoners in their own country.
    Posted by djoann958[/QUOTE]

    That's exactly on point.  It's the same here in Canada and it's frustrating as hell.  People should be exempt from obtaining visas for certain things such as weddings for one.  It's all a scam to make more money.  I mean you need a leave from your country of origin, which costs more $ than the application here and then you can apply here.  It's utterly ridiculous.
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  • djoann958djoann958 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is very frustrating The US consulate took the poor woman's money and then said "no visa". If your visa gets denied you should get your money back.
  • edited December 2011
    Call the U.S. Customs office at the airport she would be flying into.  Ask if a humanitarian parole would be issued for this event.  Some U.S. Customs offices will give this on a one time basis if they deem this an emergency or for greater humanitarian reasons. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_grooms-mother-cant-visa-attend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6226e86c-a613-48d7-9c95-f76ff6f72495Post:0aa1d269-bdd7-4381-8fce-19cb3e862596">Re: Groom's mother can't get a visa to attend wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Call the U.S. Customs office at the airport she would be flying into.  Ask if a humanitarian parole would be issued for this event.  Some U.S. Customs offices will give this on a one time basis if they deem this an emergency or for greater humanitarian reasons. 
    Posted by milkergirl1[/QUOTE]

    How would a wedding be deemed an emergency or a greater humanitarian reason?  Pretty sure these exceptions are reserved for people in dire straits.
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