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Ho Can I Make Everyone Come Together?

I've been in the process of thinking about who I want my bridesmaids to be (still pretty much in the dreaming about the wedding stage :P) and one thing kind of worries me:

I am a student in Pittsburgh but I am orginially from VA- therefore I have prospective bridemaids in both areas- I know this had to be a common issue, but how can I make it so they can all bond and we can all work together despite the distances?

Re: Ho Can I Make Everyone Come Together?

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    tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure why you think they all need to "bond" and work together. I had BMs from different times of my life and different geographic regions. They met at the shower once (hosted by MOH, who's my sister, and my aunt, which is tradition in my family) and then met again the day of the wedding. If you think they'll want to throw you a shower or bachelorette party, I'm sure they can communicate by email, Facebook, whatever their method of choice.  
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    edited December 2011
    I guess I just had an idea that it would be fun for me to host something  fun with everyone, more than just getting together for the big day.
    I've seen lots of things with groups of girls hanging out just bonding- I'm just looking for ideas to get everyone together. :)
    I know they don't have to "bond" -- just trying to make things a little more fun as its not very often I get to have all my girls together!
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    edited December 2011
    I guess I'm not 100% sure about what all is expected. I am new at this..
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    edited December 2011
    The only thing that is expected of your bridesmaids is that they purchase a dress within their budgets and show up on time for the ceremony, walk down the aisle, pose for pictures... They don't need to know each other to do that. Put if you want to host a little get together just for fun, then that would be very nice.
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    edited December 2011
    Your friends don't all have to be best buddies with eachother, it's just not practical. II gotta say, if I was going to drive all the way to Pittsburgh from VA or vise versa, I wouldn't want to do so to hang out with my friend and a bunch of her pals just to hang out. I might do it for a shower or bachelorette, but not for dinner and drinks.
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    vixeyvixey member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ho-can-everyone-come-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63a356a6-ccfb-406d-b171-6e787b88d2f4Post:de0517e8-0929-4be7-8da8-3473dee90991">Re: Ho Can I Make Everyone Come Together?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your friends don't all have to be best buddies with eachother, it's just not practical. II gotta say, if I was going to drive all the way to Pittsburgh from VA or vise versa, I wouldn't want to do so to hang out with my friend and a bunch of her pals just to hang out. I might do it for a shower or bachelorette, but not for dinner and drinks.
    Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]
    Ditto this.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your WP won't become a new social unit, and that's just fine.  The one thing that they all have in common is YOU.  They'll be at your wedding because they love you, but chances are that they won't become friends.

    They will be friendly, but in my experience, including the weddings of 2 of my 3 children, once your wedding is over, members of your WP won't be in contact again.

    My DD's were in their brother and SILs wedding.  They got along fine with the other women in the WP.  And to my knowledge, they haven't spoken since.  My DD and DIL were in our older DD's wedding.  They got along fine with DD's college friends who were BMs.  And haven't been in contact since July, 2009.

    Your WP has to be cordial to each other.  But your expectations are unrealistic and probably unattainable.  And I'm not sure what you all have to work "together" on, anyway.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your bridesmaids are not a new social group.  That's fine.  My BMs weren't all in the same room together until the day of the wedding, and there wasn't any awkwardness at all.
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    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah.  This:

    I'm not sure why you think they all need to "bond" and work together. I had BMs from different times of my life and different geographic regions. They met at the shower once (hosted by MOH, who's my sister, and my aunt, which is tradition in my family) and then met again the day of the wedding. If you think they'll want to throw you a shower or bachelorette party, I'm sure they can communicate by email, Facebook, whatever their method of choice.  

    Then you wrote this: I guess I just had an idea that it would be fun for me to host something  fun with everyone, more than just getting together for the big day.

    So here's a link to the event that the bride traditionally hosts for her MOH and BMs:
    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/rehearsal-dinner/articles/bridesmaids-tea-basics.aspx
     
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the answers everyone. I understand now.

    I guess I should have mentioned that the girls I've been leaning toward have actually wanted to meet each other.

    Thanks for the advice :-)
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If they want to meet each other, then they'll work something out.  It doesn't need to relate to your wedding.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_ho-can-everyone-come-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:63a356a6-ccfb-406d-b171-6e787b88d2f4Post:a533675f-9392-458d-9d5e-52f4dc0d9633">Ho Can I Make Everyone Come Together?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've been in the process of thinking about who I want my bridesmaids to be (still pretty much in the dreaming about the wedding stage :P) and one thing kind of worries me: I am a student in Pittsburgh but I am orginially from VA- therefore I have prospective bridemaids in both areas- I know this had to be a common issue, but how can I make it so they can all bond and we can all work together despite the distances?
    Posted by DarleneSandridge[/QUOTE]
    Well, they don't have to be BFFs with each other, they just have to be civil with each other.  This isn't a new social group.  <div>
    </div><div>If you want people to hang out, throw a party (of the "we're having a Christmas party--come by!" variety, not "This is a wedding-related event" type) and invite them all.  </div><div>
    </div><div>FWIW, not all my BMs knew each other before the wedding, they were from different eras of my life, and no one lives in the same state.  I introduced them via email and we all went BM dress shopping together (we were all in the same general area for Christmas).  Beyond that I left it up to them to determine how much contact they would have with each other.  They planned a bach party together, but by no means do they ring each other up to chat or hang out 18 months later.  And that's fine--they don't have to.</div>
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    edited December 2011
    I was in my cousin's wedding this year, along with a bunch of other girls I'd never met before.  We had a great time hanging out together at the bachelorette, getting ready, and then at the reception. I haven't seen them since.  All worked out well.
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    edited December 2011
    For my sister's wedding, we all friended each other on Facebook.  Although it is not necessary, we were able to plan stuff and chat about the bridal shower and bacherlorette party.  I'm about 10 years older than her BMs, but it was fun.  That might a nice way for folks to get to know each other. 
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