FMIL

Blueeyedbaby027

Okay so my FMIL is really aggrevating me. I'm not getting married until March of 2012 but she says that I'm starting to plan stuff for my wedding way too early. I've been looking for my ideal wedding dress and I'm going to a bridal show next month. She's driving me crazy and I dk what to do. She tells me that it's not right for me to just go into a dress store and leave with nothing. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong because I want to have an idea of what I want my dress to look like. What do you ladies think and any suggestions on what I should do or say to her?
Thanks

MairePoppy

Don't discuss your plans with her, problem solved! You can start getting ideas without her.

Blueeyedbaby027

See that's what I was thinking but I didn't want to be rude b/c I am marrying her son. We're close but it's like everytime I get excited about something she shuts it down. Do you think it's too early to plan things for the wedding?

banana468

It isn't too early to plan some things for the wedding.  If you're not getting married until March 2012 then you can still make sure you have a ceremony and reception venue along with your vendors for food, flowers, cake, photographer, etc.  It's too early to ask your BP and I wouldn't pick a wedding dress at this time but there's no harm in booking some items and getting ideas for others.

gailpete

My DD has been engaged for 2 years and isn't getting married until July, 2011.  We went to bridal shows, read magazines, looked at dresses and venues all throughout the last 2 years.  It really helped to clarify what she wanted her wedding to look like, what was important and what could be skimped on and get a handle on what things cost.  As long as you are upfront with the vendors you visit, I think they are OK with talking to you this early in the planning process.  I wouldn't make any non refundable decisions unless you are absolutely sure it is what you want at this point, but it sure doesn't hurt to look.

ecuchika

I got engaged in May 2009 and Im getting married June 2011.  Trust me this time will fly by and if you are any type of a procrastator like I am you may want to start looking for the big things..like pp said vendors.  I found my venue vendor in Jan 2010 and booked in  April 2010 (see the procrastator in me )  Don't talk to FMIL about things if she shuts you down. 

Blueeyedbaby027

Thanks Everyone for your advice... it helps alot. I just wish she would seem more excited about the wedding and doing stuff like I am.

eezimmer

My FI told me when he bought my engagement ring (because it's a lot of money and he wanted me to know that he may be short on cash for a bit). We didn't "officially" get engaged for about another 10 months after that (he wanted to surprise me that way since I already knew he had my ring, no, I hadn't seen it). Together, we had already been tlaking about what we wanted and looking at magazines. I don't think it's too soon because you only get to do it once, and you want it to be perfect.  When I got engaged about 2 months ago, I already knew where I wanted/ needed to start because I had already been doing a lot of the research.  Things book up quickly I've found out!!

Talk to other people about your wedding things and don't mention things to your MIL that she may shoot down... don't let her rain on your parade! Look!! Getting married is fun and exciting!!

nightmare_of_beauty

For now...keep your plans to yourself. My Mom didn't excited till about this time last year about my wedding and I got engaged in 2007. FMIL didn't get excited till we got BMs dresses. You aren't doing anything wrong checking things out and making sure you know what you like. I went from a blue/white wedding at a small hall, to black/pink at a different larger hall. Things change, taste changes. I went from glass favors to a candy table. Heck if I could I'd keep adding things if we had the time. You'll see plenty of things that help give you an idea of what you want. For now just enjoying it with yours friends, parents will get excited the closer it gets.

colourz

You say you are close with her. Try telling her how she makes you feel and how you just want her support. If that fails, enjoy planning for your wedding but stop tellimg her everything you do.

Blueeyedbaby027

Thanks alot everyone for your advice:) It's helped alot

strlzfan11

My sister had her hair trial 11 months before she got married.  In fact, I don't even think they had officially set their wedding date when she did this; if she had it had just been set.

I agree with PPs.  Don't tell her what any of the plans you've been making.  If she's not footing the bill for any of this, it's not really any of her business anyhow.

marissa_claire

Frankly, if you don't want to or are not in a comfortable place to start thinking wedding, then don't! 

If you're ready to start with basics, start with a theme and colors, and start considering a guest list.  

DO not get your wedding dress this early.  That is a long time away.  I hate to say this, but you could easily gain or lose a lot of weight in a year and a half.  Also, almost every time a bride on Say Yes to the Dress picked out her dress a year ago, she hates it when she comes back for alterations.  Not to mention, if you start even just looking now, you'll go through 100 dresses and be even more confused on what to pick.