Honest question...about bridesmaids

Noellesmama

This isn't a huge issue, but heres my situation.

I have 10 bridesmaids mostly consisting of my cousins and a few friends. One of my bridesmaids (younger cousin- maternal side) who is also somewhat of an @sshole (I was guilted into asking her) is now facing going to prison...it's a long story!!!

My question is how bad would it look if I asked another cousin from my paternal side to be a bridesmaid? Another situation I'm considering is leaving the sides as is...but typically uneven sides look better when there are more girls than guys... in this way 1 guy walks down 2 girls.

What do you all think? If you think I could forgoe asking a new bridesmaid, how would you partner them up to walk down the aisle together without it looking odd? TIA!

saisongbird

Don't ask her to be a replacement.  There's no nice way to do it without her knowing that she's a second choice.  How many GMs do you have?  Give us numbers and we'll give you a processional.  Just remember that you DO have 9 months to figure this out!

lharri12

Don't get a replacement. Uneven sides are fine, even if you have more GMs than BMs.

jagore08

Leave the sides as it is.

MairePoppy

It's not a good idea to get a replacement. It shows the original bm that she is replaceable and the replacement will know she is second choice. Leave things as they are.
One bm can walk with 2 gms, or your could have one gm walk your mother or other special female guest down the aisle.

duckie1905

If she can't be in the wedding because she's in jail then just leave it as it is.

[Deleted User]

Leave it as is. Uneven sides are fine. The replacement for her would feel just that, like she wasn't good enough to be asked the first time. No one likes being a third wheel and that is what you would be doing.

mkrupar

Leave the sides as they are. If you have one more groomsmen than BMs just have two guys walk one girl, or have one guy walk by himself.

Noellesmama

I understand the uneven sides...which is something I am VERY much considering. I didn't ask all of my girls right off the bat if they would be BM's...I asked them over the span of 3 mos since the engagement. FH really wants to have even sides...he is thinking logistically I guess.

To answer the first poster that responded...we had 10 &10...its a number that will be a little harder to work with. FH says that he knows for sure that none of his guys will want to walk solo, nor will they want to walk down with one girl and another guy. Hmmm....good thing I have 9 mos to think about this.

Thanks!

Noellesmama

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_honest-questionabout-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:68e84803-50eb-4828-b545-8a841e8eb836Post:102d7dc1-58ac-4e6f-a4c0-e0c22664cedc">Re: Honest question...about bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not a good idea to get a replacement. It shows the original bm that she is replaceable and the replacement will know she is second choice. Leave things as they are. One bm can walk with 2 gms, or your could have one gm walk your mother or other special female guest down the aisle.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

Sad thing is the BM that is going to prison is replaceable...but I don't want to hurt the next girls feelings by asking her as a 2nd choice...ya know?

I know my comment sounds pretty bad...but she has pretty much abandoned her kids and dumped them on my 72 yr old aunt (her g-ma), who has health issues...this is all prior to her facing prison charges =/

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_honest-questionabout-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:68e84803-50eb-4828-b545-8a841e8eb836Post:831f5c7d-a1e7-490c-a637-56b556e0a933">Re: Honest question...about bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand the uneven sides...which is something I am VERY much considering. I didn't ask all of my girls right off the bat if they would be BM's...I asked them over the span of 3 mos since the engagement. <strong>FH really wants to have even sides...he is thinking logistically I guess.</strong> To answer the first poster that responded...we had 10 &10...its a number that will be a little harder to work with. <strong>FH says that he knows for sure that none of his guys will want to walk solo, nor will they want to walk down with one girl and another guy.</strong> Hmmm....good thing I have 9 mos to think about this. Thanks!
Posted by Noellesmama[/QUOTE]

You can work logistically with 9 guys and 10 girls. The beauty of it is, is it's your wedding. It's not up to the GMs and BMs to dictate processional. It's too bad if his guys won't want to walk by themselves or two guys walk with one girl. What's it matter anyway? I've seen it done a bunch of times, and usually the two guys and one girl get a little chuckle out of the crowd because it's cute! You and your fiance dictate the processional/recessional, NOT the WP. His guys will just have to get over it, and with that many people your FI won't even remember that he had one more guy than you did girls. GL

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_honest-questionabout-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:68e84803-50eb-4828-b545-8a841e8eb836Post:831f5c7d-a1e7-490c-a637-56b556e0a933">Re: Honest question...about bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand the uneven sides...which is something I am VERY much considering. I didn't ask all of my girls right off the bat if they would be BM's...I asked them over the span of 3 mos since the engagement. FH really wants to have even sides...he is thinking logistically I guess. To answer the first poster that responded...we had 10 &10...its a number that will be a little harder to work with. <strong>FH says that he knows for sure that none of his guys will want to walk solo, nor will they want to walk down with one girl and another guy.</strong> Hmmm....good thing I have 9 mos to think about this. Thanks!
Posted by Noellesmama[/QUOTE]

Too bad for them.  Asking another person as a second string fill-in because some guys are whining that they can't walk alone or jointly escort a girl for the 2 minutes it takes to walk down the aisle is absurd.

poolkat78

I have 7 girls and 9 guys, we have 2 of the girls walking with 2 guys each...The only time they'll be walking together is after the ceremony down the isle, and being introduced at the reception. Apart from that, everyone is on their own.

DO not fill in the "vacant" spot...it's rude.

nebbiolo

Doesn't asking someone for the sole purpose of filling a vacated spot completely defeat the purpose of the WP to begin with? Think back to why you selected your original list - these are supposed to be the people closest to you whom who you couldn't imagine getting married without them by your side. 

Selecting someone for any other reason is exactly why WPs get out of control # wise and have lost a lot of their meaning.

amberma

You could have all the groomsmen stand at the altar with the groom and have all the bridesmaids walk in by themselves. That's what I'm doing, mainly because one of my attendants is my best friend who happens to be a guy. I didn't think it would be appropriate to have two guys walk down together.

Noellesmama

I'm not even worried about filling the spot...really. I am not disagreeing with you guys on it being "rude"...and I hope the GM understand! And if not tuff cookies!

AerikaAwright

Have the maid of honor walk by herself and partner up the rest. or just have the men come in and line up on their own. Don't ask for anyone one unless it's really important you.

doc1026

Have uneven sides. 2 guys with 1 girl looks fine!

calindi

What about having the best man stand up with your groom, while the other grooms men walk down?  That means there'd be 9 people walking down the aisle, and your poor FI will at least have someone there with him while he waits nervously!