Moms and Maids

MOH can't make it to my wedding!

OK, so My "MAN of Honor" has just been informed that he is unable to make it my wedding due to an upcoming deployment to Iraq. :-(! FI and I  had not announched our WP yet, except to my MOH, so is it ok to now ask someone else to by my MOH? My friend has alreay said he is sorry he can't come, and wants to me find a new MOH, no hard feelings.

So since we're still in the initial planning phases, is it ok to chose a new MOH? Or is that still a no-no? If it was closer to the wedding, or if I had already announced my WP, I would have just gone with out my MOH... so what do you guys think?
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Re: MOH can't make it to my wedding!

  • immaeetuimmaeetu member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-cant-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6e0578c8-703e-4d0a-ba1a-ce7a9627aa64Post:2bf7904f-e5ea-4ec4-9817-38af30f81ea9">MOH can't make it to my wedding!</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, so My "MAN of Honor" has just been informed that he is unable to make it my wedding due to an upcoming deployment to Iraq. :-(! FI and I  had not announched our WP yet, except to my MOH, so is it ok to now ask someone else to by my MOH? My friend has alreay said he is sorry he can't come, and wants to me find a new MOH, no hard feelings. So since we're still in the initial planning phases, is it ok to chose a new MOH? Or is that still a no-no? If it was closer to the wedding, or if I had already announced my WP, I would have just gone with out my MOH... so what do you guys think?
    Posted by slbinpink[/QUOTE]
    You don't need a MOH.  Just ask your remaining bm's and list your friend as an honorary MOH in your program.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would say no.  I think it will mean a lot to him to still be your MOH no matter where he is in the world.  Maybe you can make him a silk version of the bout he would have worn and send it to him where he's stationed.
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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If there's someone else that you want as MOH, I don't see a problem in asking them since they wouldn't know they were replacing the original. But if there's no one else that special to you, it's fine to just not have one.
  • edited December 2011
    I wouldn't judge you either way (as long as no one else knows he was to be your MOH). But I think it would be nice if you left it as is as a way to honor him. Maybe he will want to do a speech (through pre-recorded video) or something.
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think it's fine either way but I wouldn't make someone else a MOH just to fill a position.  
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  • orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    Honestly, you don't need to replace him. You clearly felt he was deserving of the MOH title as compared to anyone else. Now that he can't come that sucks (:(), but you can still list him in your program. Have your BMs, but I don't think you need another MOH.

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  • edited December 2011
    Keep him.  He can be Long Distance MOH.

    (Mu DH was on the road for his best bud's wedding.  He had a distinctive pair of shoes that he loved so he sent them to the weddiing with his mom.  They took a ton of pictures with the shoes, had their own chair, etc.  Is there something that your MOH has that is distinctly him?  He can send that in his place.)
  • edited December 2011
    I think that, especially given the circumstances - it's not just some random date conflict, but that he'll be overseas serving his country - you should leave him as an honorary MOH and mention him in your program.
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  • edited December 2011

    I say leave him MOH, and ask someone else to be a MOH too!

    Since he's the only one who knows, your 'new' MOH won't know the difference.  And then your Man of Honor (I love this!) will still have his place and won't be offended. 

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  • jcamm11jcamm11 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-cant-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6e0578c8-703e-4d0a-ba1a-ce7a9627aa64Post:b84e2b4e-bf2f-49ab-8e62-844f30c49ba9">Re: MOH can't make it to my wedding!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I say leave him MOH, and ask someone else to be a MOH too! Since he's the only one who knows, your 'new' MOH won't know the difference.  And then your Man of Honor (I love this!) will still have his place and won't be offended. 
    Posted by mikeynkrib2011[/QUOTE]

    I 2nd this advice
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  • Enchanted616Enchanted616 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-cant-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6e0578c8-703e-4d0a-ba1a-ce7a9627aa64Post:b84e2b4e-bf2f-49ab-8e62-844f30c49ba9">Re: MOH can't make it to my wedding!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I say leave him MOH, and ask someone else to be a MOH too! Since he's the only one who knows, your 'new' MOH won't know the difference.  And then your Man of Honor (I love this!) will still have his place and won't be offended. 
    Posted by mikeynkrib2011[/QUOTE]

    I third this.

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  • edited December 2011
    I think in this scenario, either decision is OK. If you decide to ask someone else, make sure you really want them to be MOH and aren't just filling the position. And I would still keep him as honorary MOH.


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  • edited December 2011
    I definitely think that whether you ask someone else to be the MOH or not, you should still honor your friend somehow.  If he was important enough for you to want him to be your MOH to start with and the reason he can't come is because of a deployment, then it would be a good idea to still include him in some aspect.  Btw, I heart that he is your MAN of honor and an honorable man serving his country!

    As far as having someone else be a MOH, make sure that person is truly important to you.  Don't just pick someone to fill the space.
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  • ambermorleyambermorley member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-cant-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6e0578c8-703e-4d0a-ba1a-ce7a9627aa64Post:7edbbec1-016c-4464-bded-1a13364a45da">Re: MOH can't make it to my wedding!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to MOH can't make it to my wedding! : You don't need a MOH.  Just ask your remaining bm's and list your friend as an honorary MOH in your program.
    Posted by immaeetu[/QUOTE]

    Really like this idea. Even if you do get another MOH, it would be a nice gesture to honor him this way. Maybe like:

    Honorary Man of Honor, John Doe
    Serving with the ____ in Iraq
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  • JessicaE84JessicaE84 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-cant-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6e0578c8-703e-4d0a-ba1a-ce7a9627aa64Post:86e123ad-2492-4b71-ae76-576f613285d9">Re: MOH can't make it to my wedding!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would say no.  I think it will mean a lot to him to still be your MOH no matter where he is in the world.  <strong>Maybe you can make him a silk version of the bout he would have worn and send it to him where he's stationed.
    </strong>Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    That is so sweet, such a good idea.

    There are also some videographers that can do a webcast of your ceremony, so maybe you could work out a way for him to at least see it. I'm not sure what kind of Internet access people have when they are in the service.

    PS I also have a Man of Honor, and I love hearing other people use the same term for it. :-)
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  • shoebieshoebie member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Its fine to replace him, you did not announce your WP so no ones feelings would be hurt 
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the advice ladies! I think I'm going to leave him as an honorary MOH, and list him on the program. And not fill his place at all.  He's a wonderful guy and I'm so sad he won't be there, but want nothing more then for him to come home safe and sound. :-) He just got engaged, and I'm going to be his "Best Lady" next spring!!!
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  • edited December 2011
     I was at a military wedding just a few weeks ago and they had a similar situation. The BM was in Afghanistan, so they arranged for him to skype at the time of the wedding. They had a GM walk the laptop down the aisle so he was able to be there. Just an idea :)
  • edited December 2011
    My BILs BM was deployed during their wedding.  They still had him listed as in the wedding, and one of the GM read the BM speech that the BM had sent from overseas.  That way he was still definitely honored, even though he wasn't there.  If you wanted him to be your MOH, it was for a reason, and I don't think another BM could replace him. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-cant-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6e0578c8-703e-4d0a-ba1a-ce7a9627aa64Post:669cd407-ef11-4fa2-bb0e-374ebcdd9a8b">Re: MOH can't make it to my wedding!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for all the advice ladies! I think I'm going to leave him as an honorary MOH, and list him on the program. And not fill his place at all.  He's a wonderful guy and I'm so sad he won't be there, but want nothing more then for him to come home safe and sound. :-) He just got engaged, and I'm going to be his "Best Lady" next spring!!!
    Posted by slbinpink[/QUOTE]

    Awesome!  glad to hear it!  And congrats to him too!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-cant-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:6e0578c8-703e-4d0a-ba1a-ce7a9627aa64Post:669cd407-ef11-4fa2-bb0e-374ebcdd9a8b">Re: MOH can't make it to my wedding!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for all the advice ladies! I think I'm going to leave him as an honorary MOH, and list him on the program. And not fill his place at all.  He's a wonderful guy and I'm so sad he won't be there, but want nothing more then for him to come home safe and sound. :-) He just got engaged, and I'm going to be his "Best Lady" next spring!!!
    Posted by slbinpink[/QUOTE]

    yay! that is so awesome. I love seeing people have the opposite gender in THEIR party, becuase of what that person means to them.


    and congrats to him, as well!
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