MOH Help/Problem

MPerez0727

I am recently engaged and know exactly who I want to be my MOH BUT I have a very close group of friends who all have made references to them wanting to be my MOH. One other in particular who I am close with, I know will be very hurt by my decision. She is a great friend but gets very flustered and upset very easily and I just feel more comfortable with my selected MOH. Should I tell her and address the issue head on or should I just not say anything at all and ask her to be my bridesmaid and hope she gets the hint?

mmenillo

Just ask her to be the bridesmaid. Anyone who hints that they want to MOH or throws a fit if she's not asked just has bad manners. You should never have to explain to someone why they weren't chosen, because they should never ask.

AutumnFair

Just ask "would you like to be my bridesmaid" and leave at that. Hopefully, she will say yes, and that will be that. If she ask who is the MOH, you can give the person's name but quickly change the subject to something else so she doesn't get to ask why. She does not need to know why you chose the certain person as MOH, if she does happen to ask just tell her she's your closest person (or have known the longest, whatever the case may be). But hopefully, she doesn't ask. Though she might be disappointed, she will get over it.

trix1223

Your wedding is a year and a half away.  Come back and ask this question this time next year.  Don't ask anyone yet?  Why?  Two reasons:  there's absolutely nothing for a WP to do this far out anyway.  Second reason:  stroll over to the WP board and read the countless posts from brides who asked this early.  Now the relationship has changed (yes, even with a bff that's been their BESTEST EVER FRIEND forever) and now they're trying to figure out how to kick them out.

Save yourself hassle and drama and just wait.  If anyone asks about the WP simply say "Oh we're just enjoying being engaged.  We're not even thinking about that yet."  And then don't.

ecuchika

Yes totally agree with pp! I got engaged and we shortly realized that it just won't be possible to have a short engagment it was more like 2 years at the time.  So we waited and waited!  Tell her if she asks who is in your WP that you are still thinking and you want to enjoy this time with FI! Ask your WP when you get close to 1 year out and you will save yourself a lot of greif! But being a BM doesn't mean she can't enjoy planning with you!  I have done more planning with a friend who is a BM not an MOH!  She is happy to help me but I have specific reasons for asking my MOH.  You should ask someone who will not be self centered.  Who you can count on! Not b/c they dream of being a MOH! Anyways she should be honored to be your BM in the first place!!!

lalap69

Your wedding is still sooooo far away, there's no need to ask anyone yet.  I'm not planning on asking anyone until I'm less than a year out.  There's just no point.  There's nothing for them to do this far out and your relationships might change in that time. 

Don't believe me, come hang out on the Wedding Party board for a bit where you can watch bride after bride post about how she asked her BMs too early and now she wants to kick someone out. 

It's better to hold off now than to have regrets later.

Kniblet

[QUOTE]Your wedding is a year and a half away.  Come back and ask this question this time next year.  Don't ask anyone yet?  Why?  Two reasons:  there's absolutely nothing for a WP to do this far out anyway.  Second reason:  stroll over to the WP board and read the countless posts from brides who asked this early.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

This, exactly.  You have PLENTY of time to pick the BP.