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No Show Bridesmaid

kredwards1kredwards1
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in Moms and Maids

One of my bridesmaids just flew in for my bach party in DC.  A week later, after my nagging that she get her dress (wedding was 38 days away at that time - now down to 30 days), she tells me she can't make it to the wedding because of finances.  I can't afford her dress+flight+hotel.  I think I need some bride sympathy to tell me to either suck it up or that it is ok to be a little upset.

Has this happened to anyone else?

KR

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Re: No Show Bridesmaid

  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Life happens...even to brides.  I'm sorry that your friend won't be with you.  I know that makes you sad and it's ok to feel that way.  Tell her you are sorry and move on.  It's all you can do.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's okay to be upset, but there's nothing you can do about it, so you need to move on. Don't dwell on things that are out of your control or you will drive yourself crazy and the last thing you need moving toward your wedding day is added stress.
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would be really sad that she chose to spend her money attending the bach party rather than the wedding.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • kredwards1kredwards1
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks girls!
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  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_show-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7242d743-fd87-450c-ab02-7fdd4576ded2Post:abfca30b-295f-47c1-9100-ce6a450eda5b">Re: No Show Bridesmaid</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would be really sad that she chose to spend her money attending the bach party rather than the wedding.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    I definitely agree with this, but what can you do? Maybe she originally had enough to do it all, but something unexpected happened that she had to shell out for (ie car repair). You never know.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_show-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7242d743-fd87-450c-ab02-7fdd4576ded2Post:abfca30b-295f-47c1-9100-ce6a450eda5b">Re: No Show Bridesmaid</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would be really sad that she chose to spend her money attending the bach party rather than the wedding.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    That's what I was thinking. It's okay to be disappointed for a bit, but don't dwell on it.

    You will still have wonderful day with your new husband and the people that celebrate your marriage with you. Best wishes.
                       
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_show-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7242d743-fd87-450c-ab02-7fdd4576ded2Post:abfca30b-295f-47c1-9100-ce6a450eda5b">Re: No Show Bridesmaid</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would be really sad that she chose to spend her money attending the bach party rather than the wedding.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]
    My thoughts exactly.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ditto muffin's mom and maire.  It's sad that she can't, but it doesn't really change the end result of your wedding, does it? 

    Allow yourself to be disappointed for a day or two, and then let it go and focus on the wonderful things going on all around you.  GL.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I had something similar happen to me, and the best advice is what these ladies are saying - Let it go, and move on.  If that's the worst that can happen for your wedding, count yourself lucky!

    Best wishes!



    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_show-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7242d743-fd87-450c-ab02-7fdd4576ded2Post:12a20bd0-0fef-46b0-921e-7978af334b90">Re: No Show Bridesmaid</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Show Bridesmaid : I definitely agree with this, but what can you do? Maybe she originally had enough to do it all, but something unexpected happened that she had to shell out for (ie car repair). You never know.
    Posted by jerseydevil[/QUOTE]

    Obviously you can't do anything (unless you can afford to cover the travel costs).  But that wouldn't change how sad I was.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • lharri12lharri12 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_show-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7242d743-fd87-450c-ab02-7fdd4576ded2Post:abfca30b-295f-47c1-9100-ce6a450eda5b">Re: No Show Bridesmaid</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would be really sad that she chose to spend her money attending the bach party rather than the wedding.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    THIS!!
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  • mrstfuturemrstfuture member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm in a similar boat and realize that me and my fiance's day is going to wonderful even if she can't make it.  There are bigger things that I need to spend energy on, and although I was upset at the time, I realized that I needed to move on. 
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  • Enchanted616Enchanted616 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You have every right to be upset, but like pp said, there really isnt anything you can do about it.  Focus on the positive.

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