2 families for the bride what to do???

tstrainms

Hello all,
I am new to pretty much all of this, and I have an issue that weighs heavy on my chest.
I left my biological parents in High School, and my best friends parents took me in, my biological mom signed a blank paper signing me over to them basically...  So I lived with them for over a year, they really helped me to set goals (like going to college, which I honest didn't feel like I would ever be able to untill they opened my eyes ) and to become a strong person.
Anyway, I really don't know what to do when it comes to including my (what I call) adopty mom and my biological mom.
My bio. mom does not get me at all and is always trying to live through me, but my adopty mom knows me for me and has already been through the wedding process with my bff/adopty sister.
Please Help.  I don't want any hard feelings.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_2-families-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:73142052-e8e5-4cec-8d66-e1f9b90cc5aePost:adaa6c3d-7aac-4697-8e1f-0e81b9a4efc5">2 families for the bride what to do???</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all, I am new to pretty much all of this, and I have an issue that weighs heavy on my chest. I left my biological parents in High School, and my best friends parents took me in, my biological mom signed a blank paper signing me over to them basically...  So I lived with them for over a year, they really helped me to set goals (like going to college, which I honest didn't feel like I would ever be able to untill they opened my eyes <3 ) and to become a strong person. Anyway, I really don't know what to do when it comes to including my (what I call) adopty mom and my biological mom. My bio. mom does not get me at all and is always trying to live through me, but my adopty mom knows me for me and has already been through the wedding process with my bff/adopty sister. Please Help.  I don't want any hard feelings.
Posted by tstrainms[/QUOTE]

Are you in touch with your bio mom? If there weren't a wedding involved, what would your relationship with her be like?

vannymuse

(Sorry in advance for the wall of text)

I had a similar problem for my wedding. My mother passed away when I was younger, and my dad remarried soon after. My stepmother and I had a rough relationship when I was younger, and it only got better whenI moved out. Due to our rocky past, I wasn't comfortable with her doing anything mother of the bride related.

You should let your adopty mom help out with the wedding, if that is something you both want.  My aunt, who is like a mom to me, stepped in to help with things my H didn't really have an interest in, such as picking out flowers, and figuring out my wedding hair style. To honor her at the wedding, I gave her a corsage, asked her to do a reading, and she was escorted down the aisle during the seating of the mothers. You can do similar things to honor your adopty mom's husband.

I still love my stepmother, and for the wedding, I gave her a corsage, and she was escorted down the aisle for the seating of the mothers. I also asked her to go wedding and bridesmaid dress shopping, because I didn't want to leave her out completely.

I hope that helps you figure some details out!

Edited to add:
Since you didn't elaborate on the current status of your relationship with your biological  parents, I assumed you are on speaking/friendly terms and that you still want them to be a part of your wedding.

J&&D2011

I am having a similar issue. I was given up for adoption at a week old. when i was 16, i met my bio. mom and found out she and bio. dad arent together anymore. so i have three families and no idea how to keep them all happy. I think the best advice is to just ask them what their expectations are and how much they want to be involved. I asked my bio. mom and she has no issues with not being seated specially like my mom and his mom. She understands my point that his family would probably get very confused since they do not know the situation. Just ask them what they want and go from there!