What to do with a stepsister

almiller78

I have a 16 year old stepsister from my father's second marriage.  We're not close, as I was long grown when she came along.  I feel like I should include her somehow in the wedding, but not compelled to have her as a bridesmaid.  Any ideas of something small that I could have her do that would acknowldge that she's important to me?

AutumnFair

Have her do a reading, sing/play if she is musically talented, or a female usher. Anything else like Guestbook, Personal Attendant, or Program Passer is a boring job that most people do not like to do.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_stepsister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:73c204d7-7815-4e8e-82e0-5766747c2a22Post:1bc28909-829a-45e0-82cc-a1ded2652b97">Re: What to do with a stepsister</a>:
[QUOTE]Have her do a reading, sing/play if she is musically talented, or a female usher. Anything else like Guestbook, Personal Attendant, or Program Passer is a boring job that most people do not like to do.
Posted by AutumnFair[/QUOTE]

Dittot his.  Except for the usher part.  I just don't get the role of ushers, because i've always just seen the GM's be the ushers.

almiller78

Thanks, one other sticky part is that I have a brother and my FI has a sister.  Neither are in the wedding, but their children are.  Think that will be awkward to use a step for a reading if bro and sis aren't included?

AutumnFair

Usually ushers in my area actually try to seat people equally so to fill up or close in space as much as possible, also several night weddings I have attended they passed out and lit candles. So I guess it just depends in your circle or area.

As for OP second question. This is tricky, if you think your brother and his sister are going to be hurt that they aren't involve then you might just want to have all of them present a Reading (it could be a poem or longer verse and they each read a line). But yeah, that is a sticky situation that maybe you want to discuss with your brother and his sister. 

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_stepsister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:73c204d7-7815-4e8e-82e0-5766747c2a22Post:b8a49f65-8a87-420f-ac93-30592bc8ceec">Re: What to do with a stepsister</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, one other sticky part is that I have a brother and my FI has a sister.  Neither are in the wedding, but their children are.  Think that will be awkward to use a step for a reading if bro and sis aren't included?
Posted by almiller78[/QUOTE]

Usually I think when you child is in the wedding, thats in a way honoring you as well.  I was talking to my FG's mom (my aunt) about doing a reading, and she said "no, my daughter is already involved in your wedding.  Our family is huge so ask someone else to have a part in your wedding."   

Muffin'sMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_stepsister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:73c204d7-7815-4e8e-82e0-5766747c2a22Post:0e34e8ae-6995-4ec9-a804-db7bf1a72556">Re: What to do with a stepsister</a>:
[QUOTE]Does she expect to be in the wedding? Odds are that she doesn't if the two of you aren't close. GUEST is also an honor.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

This.....

Traceyd14

Guest book attendent would be perfect I think.

almiller78

Thanks all!  To clarify, she doesn't expect anything.  I was just trying to make a kind gesture.  I agree, the grown siblings will likely be fine with their kiddos as flower girls.  I just wanted to include the step somehow.

Judith233

If she is comfortable speaking in public, have her do a reading.  Otherwise maybe just get her some flowers or something.  Do you know if she really wants to be included?

VRL

If your step sister isn't comfortable giving a speech, you could consider giving her a corsage / boutonniere and acknowledging her in the program as an honoured attendant. It's subtle, but to her, it may be meaningful.