Moms and Maids
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Father/Daughter Dance w/ Mom's input

So my mother and I are REALLY close. She has helped me out a TON with the wedding planning and I appreciate every single solitary bit. I had picked out the song for the father/daughter dance (Tim McGraw's "My Little Girl") with my dad (there was a toss up between that and 2 other songs). Dad's fave had been the Tim McGraw song and so that was the one that we choose. Yesterday my mom told me that she thinks I should change it because "Stealing Cinderella" is more like my dad. I know she's trying to be helpful, but I thought that this was the one area that she wouldn't try to input in, and the fact that she did kinda irks me. My dad has diabetes and completely recovered from lymphoma, and this dance is something that's really important to me because for a while we weren't sure that he was going to be able to have a father/daughter dance (and this was way back when I was in college, YEARS before I met the FI)

My mom and I are really close, and I don't want to hurt her or make her feel bad, and I don't want her to think I don't want her advice or input, but how would you nicely tell her to buzz off about this particular topic? Without hurting her feelings? I know that a lot of people don't have their mom's to help them, and I'm SO lucky for her to be around...

I'm just at a loss. Do I not say anything?

Re: Father/Daughter Dance w/ Mom's input

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    BeeBee22BeeBee22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would just tell her, "Thanks, but dad and I have it worked out." Unless she makes a big deal out of it (which seems like it would be weird), just leave it at that.  Hopefully it was just an off-the-cuff suggestion that planning stress blew out of proportion in your head.

    OTOH, if you think it might be a better choice, you can always ask your dad if he prefers that song to the McGraw song.  Up to you. I agree it should be between you and your dad, though. 
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with BeeBee.  It won't hurt to take both songs to your dad, play them, and let him choose.  He may love it!  Then, if he wants to stay with the original, it is his choice and your mom will need to accept that.

    Funny, but my husband and daughter could NOT decide...they went round and round.  So, they finally told me to pick from the three they had narrowed down to and it would be a surprise!  It was a fun moment.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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    BeeBee22BeeBee22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I forgot to say, it's so wonderful that your Dad is doing so well!!!
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    edited December 2011
    He's doing awesome. He's got some complications because of his diabetes, and some lasting issues because of the chemo that he had (they did full body chemo & radiation on him because they couldn't be sure as to how far the cancer had spread & they only found it because he had gotten his tonsils out) but he still works (he's a HS history teacher). He's .. amazing.
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    edited December 2011
    That's great that your Dad pulled through : )
    Mom means well, but you should let her know that song is meaningful to you. Tell her what you told us. She'll understand.
                       
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    longman801longman801 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
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