Moms and Maids
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Shower question

My BFF is getting married this September.  I am a bridesmaid and her sister is the MOH.  After speaking with my friend, she informed me her sister and mom are NOT planning to throw her a shower because they don't think it is necessary.  I know this is something my friend wants very much.  I emailed both her mom and her sister to confirm this and her mom called me and said that my friend needs to realize that her wedding is not the only thing happening in the world and she is planning a very last minute tea for 4-5 people sometime when she knows my friend will be around (she lives out of state).  If noone can come, than noone can come.  I would like to plan a small traditional bridal shower for her and invite her close friends and family of her and the groom on my own.  I have already discussed this with my friend, and she is fine with this as long as we can agree on a date so she can make arrangements to be here.  Am I overstepping my bounds with her mother? I did offer to plan everything to her, but she wasn't hearing it.

Re: Shower question

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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, but if MOB doesn't want any part of it, expect to pay for whatever you do yourself. So if you are going to do one make sure it is budgeted within your means (no charging on a credit card in hopes to pay it off in the future), showers can be very casual, most I go to are just punch/cake at a friend, family, family friend's house.
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    DaisyLoveBDaisyLoveB member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i'm having a very similar problem with a wedding i am in right now. The MOH and MOB dont really agree with us BMs on anything and it has caused drama. i have been trying to stay out of the MOH's way on most things but i do speak up on things i feel are impt to the bride. If you know it is important for her to have a shower, then i think it's fine to throw one...just be aware they likely will not contribute financially or otherwise.
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    gailpetegailpete member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Traditionally it was considered rude for a member of the bride's family to host a bridal shower.  This has loosened somewhat, but not completely.  Therefore your having a shower for your friend is perfectly acceptable.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think you're overstepping. MOB and sister had first option to throw the shower and didn't want to do it. It's very nice of you to step up. If there are other BM's, ask if they are able to bring a dish. It doesn't have to be fancy. Just keep it small and simple and within your budget.
                       
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    edited December 2011
    I think it would be nice of you to throw the shower. From what I know, family members of the bride or groom are not suppose to host because it looks like a "gift grab" anyways. I think if you hosted something even at your place would be nice since its about showering the bride and not as much about what you can afford to provide as food, although Im sure food and drinks might be nessicary,. but it could be costco apps too!

    Anyways, I dont think the MOB should take offense.
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