Moms and Maids

The woman never listens!

My FMIL has a problem actually listening to anything I say. Or anyone really. Example..a couple weeks ago she wanted to know when the best time to call me and my finace would be.I told her about 6:30. She then says she will call us between 7 and 7:30. Really? 

Any way, Yesterday morning she was working on addressing shower invites and asked about inviting a couple people. I told her 1) I didn't like these two ladies and 2) they weren't invited to the wedding and that you aren't supposed to invite people to the shower that were not invited to the wedding. A couple hours later my Fiance sees her giving shower invites to people that were not invited and I have never even spoken to! There is nothing I can do now, because the damage is done, but I am just really annoyed by this. I gave her the guest list, she knew who was and was not invited and totally ignored what I told her about not inviting people to the shower that were not invited to the wedding. 

Side note and question....There are a couple ladies at my church who have invited themselves to the wedding, and who I never wanted there. I can't tell them they aren't invited without being rude and since we are getting married in the church can't really stop them from coming. The reception is outside but also at the church. Is there a way to keep them from that, considering we did have to pay for that and only paid for who we invited? 

Re: The woman never listens!

  • edited May 2012
    The shower invitations were your FMIL's faux pas. It's going to be up to her to explain to them why they were not invited to the wedding, if they ask. If I were you, I would just be polite to them and let them know that you are very surprised to see them at the shower.

    Upcomming weddings are announced in my (former) churches Sunday bulletins. Since marriage is considered a sacrament in that religion, they are open to anyone who would like to attend. Those people who attend, without an invitation do not (or should not) expect to be invited to the reception. It's not rude to say, 'I'm sorry, the reception is by invitation only becasue we needed an exact head count for the caterer." It will probably embarass the wedding crashers, but you are not the one who is being rude. The caterer might be willing to have an employee break the news to them.

    Good luck.
  • wow that's a tricky situation. I agree with Maire in saying that if your FMIL invited these people knowing that they will not be invited to the actual wedding, then it is up to her to explain why. (She sounds super rude BTW!)
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