Wishing my mom was here!

christine_moval

I lost my mom when i was 13 and i am having problems with the wedding planning with out her there. I am just wanting to know if anyone else is in the same boat and how they are dealing with it all. She passed unexpectly so it has always been hard but when i think of the invitations and dress and whatnot i realy start to miss her.

Thanks ladies!

Kniblet

I am sorry for your loss.  I still have my mom but my BFF/MOH lost her mom when she was 15, she is 30 now.  I know that when she got married, she had a rough time with this as well.  But she did honor her mom at the wedding by wearing her veil which she luckily had.  And if I remember correctly, she lit a candle for her.

Know that she IS going to be with you on wedding day. 

djoann958

Oh, honey, I am so sorry. I am a MOB and slightly addicted to wedding message boards. I read about situations like yours often and also about uninvolved mothers. I have told my daughter I am going to start my own "Rent a MOB" service. I don't want to be a wedding planner, I just want to keep being a MOB!
But seriously, I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Is there a good friend or an aunt or someone who can step up and help you? Think of someone you are close to and explain your feelings to them. They may feel honored that you want them to stand in for your mom who can't be with you.
Also, keep up with the message boards. I have found the young ladies to be very supportive of each other. Talk to your fiance and maybe he can be of some help too.
Good luck and I am sure your mother is smiling down on you and wishing you all the happiness you deserve.

deepcovejackie

I'm sure you do wish your mom was here.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I don't think there's anything that can be done to heal that.  Do something that has meaning for you to honour her at your wedding.  Rely on friends, family and FI to help you through this.

vinnyv11

I am sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom when I was 17 to a long battle with cancer, and the planning process has been difficult at times without her.  I have made sure to surround myself with those that love me most.  I took all my BM's, my FMIL, and another close friend who isn't in the wedding with me dress shopping.  It really helped having all of them there, and the next day we did a 5k breast cancer walk in honor of my mom. 

I have asked my Aunt, my dad's sister whom my mom was really close with--they were pregnant at the same time, and she is the one who introduced my parents--to dance with my dad when the bridal party dances.  I have also asked her to hold the apron for the dollar dance, and invited her to stay the night with me and the girls the night before. 

To honor my mom, I am having an apron made for the dollar dance out of her dress, as well as having a piece of her dress sown into my dress.  I also am using peach carnations in our centerpieces, as they were her favorite flowers.   

My MOH's husband lost his mom a year before they were married, they had a candle made with her picture on it that was on the alter and an 8x10 picture of her.  I chose not to do these, because I want to honor her in my own way, and not upset my dad or other family members with pictures and things of her. 

I sometimes get really sad or mad when I think about my wedding day without my mom, but I know she will have the best seat in the house. 

Muffin'sMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_wishing-mom-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7ed057c6-ea8f-402f-8f3f-521fcdf1fb1dPost:ba2340be-5c0a-4281-a332-1bf9341fb0b4">Re: Wishing my mom was here!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm so sorry for your loss. Wedding planning hurt because I missed my mom, too. If it comforts you....she'll be there, and she'll have the best view in the house.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

This...and if you need a mom, there are several here that will be glad to listen!

junebug61103

I lost my mom 10 years ago when I was 15. My MOH & BM have both recently moved out of state and FMIL is well *cough*cough* a handful so I've been doing it all on my own. I tried on dresses by myself and everyone gave me so much grief. I wanted to do it by myself...I enjoyed being alone and felt like she was there with me, instead of having family or friends to it out of "guilt" (even though I know they would have been more than happy).

Ive chosen to honor my mom along with other family members FI & I have lost by purchaing bouquet charms on etsy.com. I sent the lady pictures and she shrunk them down and they look soo nice. I also didn't want a "shrine" to my mom or our other family members so this is a little more intimate way of having my mom, grandparents, FI grandma & aunt with us on our special day.