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One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH

MellyK33MellyK33 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I have this friend who I have been friends with for like 30 years, we kind of grew apart and lost touch for a bit but have kind of rekindled our friendship in the last few years. I had told her when I first got engaged that I wasn't going to have a MOH because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. About a month ago I was feeling like I was going to regret not having an MOH and really wanted my other really good friend who I had asked to be my bridesmaid to be my MOH and thought you know what this is MY day and I should have everything I would like, so I asked my good friend of 3 years to be my MOH and she said she would be honored. The only thing is I am now nervous to tell my other bridesmaid and not sure how to approach it with her and what to say.  Any advice I would gladly appreciate!!
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Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH

  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:1ff2126b-08f0-4627-853b-e699cb15094e">One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have this friend who I have been friends with for like 30 years, we kind of grew apart and lost touch for a bit but have kind of rekindled our friendship in the last few years. I had told her when I first got engaged that I wasn't going to have a MOH because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. About a month ago I was feeling like I was going to regret not having an MOH and really wanted my other really good friend who I had asked to be my bridesmaid to be my MOH and thought you know what this is MY day and I should have everything I would like, so I asked my good friend of 3 years to be my MOH and she said she would be honored. The only thing is I am now nervous to tell my other bridesmaid and not sure how to approach it with her and what to say.  Any advice I would gladly appreciate!!
    Posted by MellyK33[/QUOTE]
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    How many BM's do you have?  Just the two of them?
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  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:5f694044-1141-44de-a272-f865fce03e01">Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]How many BM's do you have?  Just the two of them?
    Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

    I'm curious about this also. If you are having the just two of them, you could just make them both MOHs.

    If you don't want to go that route, you need to just tell your friend that you've selected another friend to be your MOH. Surely, if your friendship is so long-standing,she won't be terribly offended by something that, in the long run, is rather petty. Just say something like "BM, I've selected so-and-so to be my MOH. I can't wait to have both of you with me on my wedding day!" I think you're making this a much bigger deal than it needs to be.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If there are just two BM's that would be awkward.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:1ff2126b-08f0-4627-853b-e699cb15094e">One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE] this is MY day and I should have everything I would like,
    Posted by MellyK33[/QUOTE]

    Please, please, do not ever use that phrase again. It sounds so bratty.

    I'm sure you are a lovely person, since you are obviously concerned about your friend's feelings. I agree that you should <strong>not</strong> sit your friend down for a talk or anything dramatic like that. Don't make a big deal of it. Maybe you could casually refer to the other friend as your MOH when you start looking for dresses. I'm sure it will work out fine.

    Good luck.
                       
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  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I have a similar situation and have decided that they should both be MOH's. They are both incredibly special to me in different ways and I just feel like I'm picking and choosing and being petty to say among only TWO people - "you're my MOH and you are not".

    The only challenge is getting the older ladies in my family to grasp that concept, because I am still getting asked after I explain this. *eye roll*
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  • MellyK33MellyK33 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think that the phrase I used is bratty at all...it is MY day not her's it's about my fiance and I no one else...so i will use it thank you!

    As for how many maids I have 3...I'm sure she will understand when I tell her, we will see...she has taken over planning my bachelorette so maybe that's a good thing! T

    Thanks for all your advice ladies and happy planning!!!!
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  • kellyb1487kellyb1487
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:42e8c8d2-c0d2-40b0-9751-340f45322e7c">Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think that the phrase I used is bratty at all...it is MY day not her's it's about my fiance and I no one else...so i will use it thank you! As for how many maids I have 3...I'm sure she will understand when I tell her, we will see...she has taken over planning my bachelorette so maybe that's a good thing! T Thanks for all your advice ladies and happy planning!!!!
    Posted by MellyK33[/QUOTE]

    ummm... yes the ceremony is about you and your husband, but the wedding day is about sharing that with all of your family and loved ones. If it really is all about you and your FH, then why bother having a bridal party or a reception?

    Good Luck with the rest of your planning, I am sure everything will work out!
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  • wareagle5678wareagle5678
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well said, kellyb.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:42e8c8d2-c0d2-40b0-9751-340f45322e7c">Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think that the phrase I used is bratty at all...<strong>it is MY day not her's it's about my fiance and I no one else</strong>...so i will use it thank you! As for how many maids I have 3...I'm sure she will understand when I tell her, we will see...she has taken over planning my bachelorette so maybe that's a good thing! T Thanks for all your advice ladies and happy planning!!!!
    Posted by MellyK33[/QUOTE]

    Wrong-O, cookiepuss.  It's not JUST your day.  It stops being YOUR day the second you involve other people.  The day is NOT all about you, nor should it be.  And to say "It's MY day and I should get what I want" really makes you sound terribly self-absorbed and entitled and is a pretty quick way to turn people's excitement for you off.

    But hey, good luck with everything.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Well MellyK, good luck with that attitude.
                       
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:42e8c8d2-c0d2-40b0-9751-340f45322e7c">Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think that the phrase I used is bratty at all...it is MY day not her's it's about my fiance and I no one else...so i will use it thank you! As for how many maids I have 3...I'm sure she will understand when I tell her, we will see...she has taken over planning my bachelorette so maybe that's a good thing! T Thanks for all your advice ladies and happy planning!!!!
    Posted by MellyK33[/QUOTE]

    You might want to re-read what you just wrote.  You do sound rather self-centered.  It comes off badly.

    Happy planning!
    Report Reply
  • lisarose7lisarose7
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:42e8c8d2-c0d2-40b0-9751-340f45322e7c">Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think that the phrase I used is bratty at all...it is MY day not her's it's about my fiance and I no one else...so i will use it thank you! Posted by MellyK33[/QUOTE]

    Somebody cue the tongue-sticking-out, the foot-stomp, and the "nanny nanny boo boo"

    ::headdesk::

    FYI, it's only about you and your FI if you elope.  If you have a WP and guests, you're making it about them too.
    image

    Stop The Drama!

    image Love people. Use things. Never confuse the two.
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  • KateG528KateG528 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_one-bridesmaid-doesnt-asked-another-bridesmaid-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7edeb457-a286-43c8-a816-ad707a423e2aPost:ba50d2b5-32a6-4f6c-9cac-120efba228d0">Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One Bridesmaid doesn't know that I have asked another bridesmaid to be my MOH :<strong> Somebody cue the tongue-sticking-out, the foot-stomp, and the "nanny nanny boo boo" ::</strong>headdesk:: FYI, it's only about you and your FI if you elope.  If you have a WP and guests, you're making it about them too.
    Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Dont forget the hands on the hips and the pout. </div>
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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