Moms and Maids

Re: n

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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_future-mother-law-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:803f51ce-c094-4a5e-9811-d61fe65f91caPost:7b2ed4bb-1fa8-486c-9e2b-ef583a5add76">Future Mother In Law Help</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love my future mother in law.  She has been such a support system since day one.  She was very encouraging for the engagement specially seeing as my engagement ring was once hers and an heirloom.  She was very supportive and welcoming when my parents flipped. She opened her home and everything.   But, now that it is wedding planning time and everyone is on board she is driving me a little up the wall.  It is not that i don't want her help or opinions but she is a very opinionated and pushy woman who just doesn't seem to know her place.  A major part of why we have waited for so long and set a date for 2012 is because we knowing her wanted to pay for the wedding ourselves so that we could make the decisions for OUR wedding without her arguing she is paying for it and should have a say.   I read that i should give her little tasks or something to keep her busy and feel apart of  everything. but when we asked her to come see the venue with us to make sure we weren't signing a contract that was not legit she came in and tried to change our menu, get rid of our open bar, and then wanted to be the one to sign the contract as well as be the one the wedding planner called. (our venue is all inclusive.)   I appreciate her thoughts and opinions but she is very pushy when giving them even after my fiance has talked to her about it being OUR wedding.  She has even gotten into arguments with my mom about what WE want when my moms argument was "its their wedding they will decide".  I have a good idea of what i want and have a wedding coordinator to help me.  how do i nicely get my mother in law to understand i want her to be apart of everything but if she continues to be pushy and take over that she will not be apart of it at all.
    Posted by stosie17[/QUOTE]

    Honestly, I can barely understand your post.  Spelling and grammar are your friend, and it makes it very difficult to understand you if you don't use them. 

    So, is your FMIL paying for the wedding, or is it just you and your FI paying?  If she isn't paying, she doesn't need to get any say.  And she definitely isn't the one who should be signing the contracts or being the point of  contact.  And I don't know why you would insist on inviting her places if thats how she acts.  After how she acted at the reception site and towards your mother, I wouldn't be inviting her anywhere else.

    If she is paying, then I would decline her offer to pay and just pay for the wedding yourselves, so that you can have complete control over it. 
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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    cyn1812000cyn1812000 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would let your FI deal with her.  I had a few problems with my FMIL, but after my FI understood how much it was upsetting me he had a talk with her and things have been much better since then.  If you're paying for the wedding then your and your FI's opinions are the only ones that matter.
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    kimp67kimp67 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would stop discussing wedding things with her & if she does ask, just say "we're doing A, that's what we both want" & let it drop.  I would also not have your mom discuss anything wr with her either.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I hate that you said she doesn't "know her place" that could have been phrased in a much more respectful way. If you don't want her input then don't talk to her about, if she asks about something just say that you and your FI have already figured that out. But she is a person, and according to you has been extremely good to you, so maybe you should try cutting her some slack.


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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OP whats the point of DDing when I've already quoted you?
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you scared her dnbeach. lol 
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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Well it wouldn't be the first time, and I'm sure not the last either. 

    imageBabyFruit Ticker
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