Moms and Maids

FMIL and FFIL Trouble

My fiance's mom and dad are divorced and they don't get along. Our wedding will be the first time they see each other after the divorce. How do I handle this? There is already so much drama. His mother won't talk to his father, tries to pin us against his father, etc.

Re: FMIL and FFIL Trouble

  • sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Persona;lly I would sit them down (not together ) and have a talk and tell them the day is not about how much they hate each other but about ho much they love there son and you . 
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would hope that they can both behave as adults for their son's wedding day.  And this is a conversation that your FI has to have with them.  You need to stay out of the discussion with each of them.  Because nothing good can come from your saying anyting to them. 

    While it might impact both of you on your wedding day, it's HIS conversation to have, not yours.  IF he can't have the conversation, then you live with whatever happens that day.

    GL
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Trix.

    And when dealing with organizing things, don't treat them as a couple.  Seat them in separate pews and tables so there's no pressure on them to try to pretend to be together.
  • edited December 2011
    They are adults. Let them know that the other will be there, but that you expect for them to handle it maturely. No one is asking them to sit next to each other. In fact, if you can put as much distance between them, that would be the best, really. 

    I agree with Trix though - this is not your conversation to have, it is your FI. These are his parents that he needs to talk with. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with trix too . The conversation needs to be between him and his parents .
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Trix is wise...you should listen!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • SheTeachesSheTeaches member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Make your list of "Things to Get Really Upset About in Advance" and then cross this one off.  Ms. Trix is right; this is your future husband's issue, not yours at this point.  Resist the urge to get involved or give advice or talk about his parents to others.

    Your future husband's parents have known for years that this day would come.  Trust them to do their best, try to forgive them if their best isn't very good, and promise your future husband that this will never, ever, happen to the two of you.  Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    My parents are like this. They have seen each other since the divorce; however it has been 15 years and it is much worse now than it ever was. They do understand that this day is not about their hatred for one another. I spoke with each of them individually and they told me that they know this is not about them. They can play nice for a few hours and everything will be fine.

    Sit down and talk with your parents and you'll have a better understanding of how they feel about the situation; you will also be able to get a "plan" together for handling different situations. GL
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! Great advice!!!
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