MIL is driving me crazy!

verbride

I just need to vent. My BFF thought it might be a good idea to give her some "tasks" so that she stops calling and emailing me constantly to give her ideas. It's not that I don't appreciate her help. I do. I just need some space.

Any ideas?

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mil-driving-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:8615fbef-6379-47bc-be00-d74a9ed926a1Post:1ab2f38c-dfda-4ab0-a2e1-cd8a12718dd1">MIL is driving me crazy!</a>:
[QUOTE]I just need to vent. My BFF thought it might be a good idea to give her some "tasks" so that she stops calling and emailing me constantly to give her ideas. It's not that I don't appreciate her help. I do. I just need some space. Any ideas?
Posted by verbride[/QUOTE]
So are you complaining that you gave her tasks and she's still calling you, or that she's calling you and you want other ideas than giving her jobs, or are you looking for ideas of jobs to give her?  I am going to go with option 3 unless you tell me otherwise.<div>
</div><div>I was in your shoes, and we just gave MIL complete rein over aspects of the wedding we didn't care about.  They turned out great, we didn't have to plan them, and we didn't have to hear about it.  Win-win-win.</div><div>
</div><div>I would just take your BFF's advice.  Cede control of some aspects of the wedding; I'd recommend something that no one, including you, will pay much attention to, like centerpieces or programs or ceremony decorations.  My MIL did the ceremony decorations and they apparently looked great--I only had eyes for DH so I didn't even notice them until I saw the photos.</div>

orangecrush32

Let her be in charge of the rehersal dinner (obviously) and then also put her in contact with your bridesmaids to help with the shower. Then anything you don't have a strong opinion on/care about, let her take over.

LoveMuffins

She sounds like she might also just be excited and wanting to share the brilliant ideas she's having with you. From reading your OP, I don't get the impression that she's trying to force you to make the decisions she wants... hopefully I'm reading that right.

If she's just calling/emailng to share ideas... there's a super easy solution. Stop picking up your phone, and don't answer every email. If she calls every day, just don't pick up. Call her back every 3 days. If she's emailing you constantly throughout each day, write her back once a week, with one big long email addressing everything that she's written you about that week. Make sure to thank her for her enthusiasm, maybe even gently tell her she can calm down a little. Hopefully she'll get the message, just from one big email.

And, this might help too, let her know specifically what you're looking for, so that she doesn't come up with random stuff that you aren't interested in, and let her know when you've decided on something. Eventually, everything will be decided and the idea train will cease

mrsjustinm2b

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mil-driving-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:8615fbef-6379-47bc-be00-d74a9ed926a1Post:bdf7b827-42eb-469a-aaaf-1c3f66eace86">Re: MIL is driving me crazy!</a>:
[QUOTE], let her know specifically what you're looking for, so that she doesn't come up with random stuff that you aren't interested in, and let her know when you've decided on something. Eventually, everything will be decided and the idea train will cease =)
Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]

This is not working for my MIL, has many "tasks", and she's still  harassing us.(Like over 5 emails with really random stuff despite our specificiations of what kind of stuff we are on the look out for)  I've needed ever so much wine since she found out we got engaged...and now have to pay for caller ID. FI has had to talk to her at least five times. feeling your pain.

Muffin'sMom

Whatever she sends/suggests/brings up, just smile sweetly and say/write something like this:

"Why thank you, what an interesting idea.  We'll definitely take that into consideration!"  Then change the subject to something else/remember an appointment/get another call...whatever.

I do this in real life a LOT...even after my daughter's wedding!