Matron of Honor is Driving me CRAZY!!! ( Sorry kinda Long )

perfection1020

Ok girls sorry this is long and crazy but My Matron of Honor is driving me NUTS and i needed to vent to someone other than my Fiance !!!

 

Ok she was married about a year and a half ago and she is separating from her husband over the dumbest stuff!!!  And that’s ALLLL she talks about!!!  And I don’t agree with her reasoning and what she is mad about!!  And Since I don’t agree with what she is saying I don’t pretend to agree with her, I tell her the truth about what I think….

 

They never lived together til after they were married which I think is one of their problems!!  Both of them lived at home with mommy and daddy til the day they got back from the honeymoon.

 

First of all yes her husband is a bit lazy, he lived at home til they got married

 ( he is 27, She will be 25 soon) and has never lived on his own before so no he never had to do anything around the house or cut the grass before because his parents did it!   So because she has to tell him when to cut the grass and do laundry she is calling it quits!!! 

 

She is no Perfect Angel believe me!! She yells at him over everything and accuses him of cheating on her every single day since he works an hour and a half away….   She won’t let him hang out with any of his work friends with out getting a ear full of crap about it and how he is cheating on her!

  

HER parents are WAY WAY to involved in their marriage and Finances its crazy!!  Her parents put them on an allowance of their own money!!  Not to mention before they got married her parents told him he had to sell all of his motorcycles and his truck so he won’t have any debt going in to the marriage ( So the boy hasn’t had a car for a year and a half!)   although right after they got married she goes and trades in her almost paid off really nice car and gets a brand new 2010 Cadillac SUV Crossover thing   and thinks there is nothing wrong with her getting this “family Car” that she won’t even let her husband drive and he isn’t allowed to get a car and her excuse is because he has already had his toys! So all he is allowed to get is a beater car.   I don’t understand this messed up way of thinking. But you can’t tell her that because she has the mindset that her parents are always right about everything and they are put on this pedestal.  Not to mention her parents hate him because she goes over to there house all the time to talk bad about him…  Oh and did I mention they live 500 feet away from her parents!!!

 

Completely makes me mad and sick to my stomach that she is not taking her marriage seriously!!  I mean she stood up there and said for better or for worse!!! But says she is done and he needs to try and save their marriage but she wont go to counseling or talk to him or anything but is putting everything on his shoulders to fix….   Marriage is about a partnership where you work on things together and get threw things together, its about trust and a commitment!

 

But the thing that is really getting me mad is the fact that I am having to hear about how she believes every single crazy rumor she hears about her husband!!  But she won’t listen to a single reasonable thing I have to say and apparently im her best friend?? But she dismisses everything I say…

Habs2Hart

I dunno.  You paint your MOH to be a pretty wretched person.  If I was her Hubby I wouldn't want to be married to her either. 

perfection1020

OH i almost forgot   THEY ARE BOTH IN OUR WEDDING PARTY!!!!!!  all i want is for no drama on my wedding day  and i dunno if they can handle that

perfection1020

Not really a question other than maybe amy suggestions on what i should do about her??  any other approches i could try to get her to see REALITY!!!   or should i just start saying OK do it already! cuz im tired of hearing about it!!   everytime she tells me she is done and wants a divorce??

Now her grandmother did just die and he came to the funeral but wasn't allowed to sit with the family at the service and he was told by her before her grandmother died to not contact her again    and now she says how he abandoned her when she needed him...........  am i the only one who thinks she has bumped her head and lost her grip with reality??????

AutumnFair

I do believe your friend is BSC and if I were your friend's husband I would be doing a happy dance that she wants a divorce. 

The big question, why are you friends with her? Does she always like to cause drama because frankly I would not want to be friends with a person like this. 

Cynthia1207

Umm it's not your relationship so it's not your problem.  If they want to get a divorce that's their prerogative.  Tell her you don't want to hear about it anymore. You are painting her as a pretty spoiled selfish princess so I don't blame the guy for wanting to leave. 

As for the day of your wedding, well they already are in your wedding party.  Everyone is an adult so they should act like adults: suck it up for one day, put a smile on your face and be happy, no drama.

ichellemay1

I agree with PP - she is definitely BSC and tell her you don't want to hear about it anymore.

deepcovejackie

Tell me there are no kids involved (repeat x10).  Your friend and her husband both sound like tools.  I have no advice to offer.

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]Where is the grammar police when you need them?
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
Yeah, where is they?

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-driving-crazy-sorry-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:86ce2cca-3865-4b60-8abd-4bb535abb84cPost:5bbea327-104c-4377-b0fe-7f624f0456a8">Re: Matron of Honor is Driving me CRAZY!!! ( Sorry kinda Long )</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, where is they?
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]
*snort*

zitiqueen

And the exclamation point police.

[Deleted User]

Let it go. It isn't your problem to deal with. Tell both of them what they are supossed to wear and where they should be and leave it at that. Period. Don't even discuss a lot of wedding details or anything with them. One or both of them may even drop out if they are going to get divorced and it is that nasty of a situation.

saisongbird

Ditto Ziti.  The excessive exclamation points and question marks and other forms of punctuation make you fairly difficult to take seriously.  

skippylouwho

mud

Enchanted616

Sorry, but BSC means..?

AutumnFair

BSC = BatSh*t Crazy 

MUD=Made Up Drama (just a FYI). 

Soon2BMrsClay

I don't really think it's your problem to deal with...it's their marriage to keep or throw away as sad as that is.

It's great that you care so much about your friends but really, at the end of the day, it's none of your business. sorry!

chuygrl77

Ditto with everyone else.  Let them handle their own problems and just keep to the necessary wedding details.  remove yourself from any conversation.  If I were you I'd secretly be rooting for the guy to be away from someone who sounds as b*tchy as you make her sound...good for him.  he can go back to mom and dad's and be waited on hand and foot.

roaaoife

She sounds like my brother's gf.   But yeah, when she starts on about it, tell her you don't want to hear it.  If she is the spoiled princess she sounds like, then maybe she'll be so mad about your insensitivities she'll quit.  Why is she your best friend anyways? Who chooses to be friends with someone like that? It makes me wonder about you as a person, if this is who you choose to associate with. Perhaps it's time to consider the merits by which you judge people.

Also, there's nothing wrong with not living together prior to marriage.  Nothing has shown it to have a negative affect on marriage.  In fact, the Journal of Family Psychology has stated that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced and have lower satisfaction with their marriages than couple who don't.  Of all their issues, that's not one of them.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jT-imXqoWfT1zg_1Xuo-A_DiL5Cg

http://society.ezinemark.com/does-living-together-increase-happiness-in-marriage-4f3f56ee1cb.html

http://www.ncfr.com/pdf/press_releases/PRESS%20RELEAS2.pdf

http://www.leaderu.com/critical/cohabitation-socio.html

perfection1020

when ever i see her (which is all the time since i work for her family) she finds somehow to bring it up about her and her husband.  

as for why am i friends with her..   she is a really nice person and has a good heart when it has nothing to do with her husband....   if she is not around him or if she isn't talking about him she really is the nicest person and will do anything in the world for anyone.  But when it comes to him its like a switch goes off and all reality and common sense goes out the window...   Her parents also put alot a crap in her head about everything, i just wish she would learn to have her own opinion on the situation instead of her parents... 

i am the type of person who really does care about my friends no matter how stupid they are i just want the best for them...  but at the same time im about to get married and i really don't want to be around the constant negative attitute about marriage.   its hard to excited about planning our wedding when my MOH is always talking about how horrible marriage is.

BTW i don't talk any wedding details with her

RMacQueen

It sounds like your friendship is important to you. Focus on being a good friend to her (she doesn't HAVE to take your advice just because you give it to her) and if she wants to help with your wedding she will.