Innovative ways to ask your bridal party

Dancerppf

Hi everyone-
After putting off getting married to purchase a house we are finally officially engaged. So i plan to invite my bridesmaids to brunch (which is a common thing for us) and i wanted to find an innovative way to ask them to be in the wedding. Any suggestions?

trix1223

I want to comment on a couple of things:

#1:  Don't ask your BM when you're all in a group.  It puts pressure on someone if, for some reason that you don't know about, they have to decline.  How would you like to be the person who, when everyone else is Squeeing!!!!!! with excitement has to say....well, actually, I'm going to have to decline the honor.

Ask each friend individually, please.

Next:  start to wrap your head around the fact that the honor is in BEING asked, not in HOW you're asked.

The wedding industry would have you believe that EVERYTHING about your wedding must be a clever, creative, innovative, unique, special, one-of-a-kind production, or your wedding won't be a success. 

And that's just not true.  Not at all.  Start to realize now that the goal of wedding magazines, websites, tv shows, and planners is to get you to spend money that you simply don't have to.

Will you friends be any less thrilled when you (individually) ask them in a phone call or over a cup of coffee than in you have a cookie made like a bridesmaid dress or send them a bridesmaid bouquet?

So happy planning.  Ask your friends, one at a time, and just ask.  As another very smart knottie has said:  "Everything about your wedding doesn't have to turn into a production."

Dancerppf

I agree with that and i thank you for your post. I have no intention of making it a production. We've been through deaths, marriages and babies together and even if for some extremely strange reason one of them couldn't be a part of the day they are very much a part of my life and would continue to be such. My three girlfriends and i have been friends since elementary school and i felt they deserved something special. But i understand your thought process.

aerinpegadrak

Save your money and get them something special as their gift for being in the wedding.  I've never heard of the idea that asking has to be something more than just saying "will you be my bridesmaid?" face to face or over the phone until the Knot.

frogurt814

I'd say just call them up or meet them one on one for lunch.  Or maybe after you ask them all individually you can take them all out for lunch, dinner, or a manicure or something if you want.

[Deleted User]

Just ask them. All the fancy ways that you see online and on TK aren't necessary IMO. I just came right out and asked my girls, no pretty, special cards, etc needed.

DeLucci

I wanted to do something special as well...but nothing over the top in terms of price or creating a huge show.  I went to kodakgallery.com and made each girl a mini photo book  with a collage of pictures of us and on the final page I wrote a special little note saying how much they meant to me and I would be honored if they would stand beside me on my big day.  Each of them loved it and it was fun for me to scroll back through my pictures and remember the good times I've had with each

Dancerppf

The photo book is an excellent idea. Thank you for your suggestion. Weddings are really unique to each person. I wish more people had actually offered suggestions instead of trying to talk me out of what it is i'd like to do.

trix1223

dancer:  your question is asked so many times, and I respond as I did.  Not for the purpose of peeing in your cheerios, but to let you know that the wedding industry has created this industry that actually, IMO, feeds on insecurity.

I just always want to let people know that their wedding will be special, and memorable without spending money on things that, as a knottie friend says, won't matter the day after the wedding. 

Will your friends be thrilled to be asked?  Of course they will, because they love you.  Will they be less thrilled if they don't get a "gift" or are asked in an "innovative" way?  I don't think so.

In the coming months, you'll be dazzled by the wedding magazines, websites, and more.  They'll do their best.  Most of us were just trying to save you some time, effort, and of course, money.  And we were trying to help you start now to realize that everything doesn't have to be a big old production, and it will still be wonderful and memorable.

GL

blegare

I love the photo book idea ! One of my friends sent us each cards with a different picture of the bride and the person she was asking on it (she made them herself) with a nice note inside. My sister asked me while we were sitting on the curb at our mom's house. My mom asked me to be her MOH to her marriage to my step dad over the phone (I was studying abroad at the time)

 I bought the book "you can wear it again (which is HILARIOUS)" and wrote a personal, heartfelt note on the inside cover asking them to be my bridesmaids "officially" even though I had already asked many of them over the phone (they are not local).  I love books and I love to laugh - and so do my bridesmaids which is the reason I went that route.  I also liked the idea of them having something tangible (I hoard books and cards like nobody's business - eep!)

In the end,  you have to do something that is reflective of you,  your personality, and your wedding. Good luck! I'd love to hear what you decide. 

blegare

PS. If you all are going to brunch and you want to ask them all as a group, maybe talk to the restaurant beforehand and order them each a mimosa with a note tied to it saying "will you be my bridesmaid" or something like that and have them brought out during the brunch. My friend did something similar with bottles of wine. 

Dancerppf

That's a great idea, the note with mimosas. And its so cost effective. I keep you all posted on what i decide. Thanks!!!!!!