Moms and Maids

MOB/MOG dresses - how are they supposed to coordinate?

I know that traditionally the MOB selects her dress 1st, and communicates the general style, color and length details to the groom's mother at which point she can then select her dress. 

I would assume that the groom's mother should select a different color dress than the MOB selected.  Is the grooms mother supposed to select a dress of approximately the same length?  What's the ettiquite on dress lengths for MOB&Gs?

Any other attire details I missed?

Re: MOB/MOG dresses - how are they supposed to coordinate?

  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think traditionally they're supposed to wear the same length, so one mother doesn't feel over- or underdressed.  However, that's pretty much gone out the window, these days most MsOB and MsOG select their dresses independently of each other.  They're not going to be in any pictures together, so as long as both are dressed appropriate to the formality of the occasion, it's all good.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been both MOG and MOB.  When I was MOG, I asked my DIL what her mom was wearing.  She gave me a general description.  Our dresses were both floor length.  That's about it.  We didn't coordinate colors with each other or the WP.

    When I was MOB, I bought my dress.  My DD's MIL bought a dress that so completely different from mine, and it didn't matter.  She loved her dress and I loved mine. 

    They don't have to coordinate.  They don't have to match.  They don't have to match or complement the colors of the WP or the dresses of the WP.

    The moms wear what they love and feel terrific in.  That's about it, IMO.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Traditionally, the MOB chooses her dress first and the MOG is supposed to follow her lead, choosing a different color. But I think that's one of those traditions that should be retired.

    The mothers should choose dresses that suit their individual styles and match the formality of the wedding. The colors and styles don't have to match or complement the wedding party, decor, venue or each other. It doesn't matter if the lengths of the mother's dresses are different.

    As the MOB, I do not expect the MOG to follow my lead. If she finds something she loves first, then I want her to buy it.

    If you have strong feelings about the moms not wearing white or ivory, you should make a polite request before they start shopping for their dresses. Don't place any other restrictions on them. Once they choose their dresses, you may not criticize their choices or ask them to change.
                       
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh yeah, my mom wore a knee-length dress, and SMIL wore floor length.  (MIL was intending to wear a pantsuit, but didn't show.)  It worked out nicely since FIL was in a tux, and SFIL was in a suit, so each matched the formality of her escort while still being in line with the event (which was "cocktail" formal).  And, as I said, I don't have a single picture with both of them, not even the candids.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mobmog-dresses-supposed-coordinate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:899522b3-3c41-454d-b520-0f27fc612bd4Post:c5bc6bb4-fde1-4637-ae16-b8cc2a3fe17e">Re: MOB/MOG dresses - how are they supposed to coordinate?</a>:
    [QUOTE] The moms wear what they love and feel terrific in.  That's about it, IMO.
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. In my case my mom was out of town and she would email pics of dresses that she liked to get my opinion, but when she actually purchased a dress I didn't see it or know much about it until 3 days before. That being said she decided she didn't like it and we went shopping together for a new one and I found the perfect one.

    FMIL asked me to go shopping with her, and I ended up spotting the perfect one for her as well, so that was fun.

    Their dresses both matched the colors in the wedding. I wouldn't have forced them to match though if they didn't like the color. We just all thought it was fun for them to coordinate as well.
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  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As long as they're not wearing the same dress, it doesn't matter.  What matters is that they are each in an outfit that they love and fell comfortable and beautiful in.  Don't overthink this.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • edited December 2011
    Well, lets just say that my Mom doesn't really get along with anyone and her and MIL really don't talk. Not to mention the fact that she didn't want anyone (not even me) to know what her dress looked like (yes, my Mom has issues like that). I only knew the color of her dress bc my sister told me. So both my Mom and MIL did not communicate what kind of dress they were getting. However, my MIL did keep asking me if my Mom had her dress yet, etc.

    They both ended up wearing a purplish shade of dresses, which at first I was a bit mad about, but quickly got over it. And the pics turned out just fine.
  • Memorie2010Memorie2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mobmog-dresses-supposed-coordinate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:899522b3-3c41-454d-b520-0f27fc612bd4Post:58161fd4-a552-438f-9b9b-46ff5f9ef8ad">Re: MOB/MOG dresses - how are they supposed to coordinate?</a>:
    [QUOTE]As long as they're not wearing the same dress, it doesn't matter.  What matters is that they are each in an outfit that they love and fell comfortable and beautiful in.  Don't overthink this.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    I agree
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mobmog-dresses-supposed-coordinate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:899522b3-3c41-454d-b520-0f27fc612bd4Post:58161fd4-a552-438f-9b9b-46ff5f9ef8ad">Re: MOB/MOG dresses - how are they supposed to coordinate?</a>:
    [QUOTE]As long as they're not wearing the same dress, it doesn't matter.  What matters is that they are each in an outfit that they love and fell comfortable and beautiful in.  Don't overthink this.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    Exactly!!!!! 
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • edited December 2011
    FMIL is having her dress made by FI's uncle (who used to design bridal gowns!), but she waited for my mother to choose her dress before they decided on a pattern and colour. Mom is going with a long teal dress with gorgeous embroidery and beading, and FMIL has decided on a champagne/gold colour, and her dress will also be long.

    Both asked me if there were any colours I didn't want them to wear (there weren't; they could wear snow white for all I care, it's not like that would make everyone forget I'm the bride! lol). Other than that, and making sure they wouldn't clash with each other, both my mom and FMIL could care less what the other is wearing. And frankly, as long as they don't show up in flour sacks, if they're happy, I'm happy.
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  • edited December 2011
    My mother & fi's mother are wearing the same dress by their choice! I explained to my mom (me bieng the bride) that she look different from anyone else there but if their ok with it then I am.
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