tips for keeping cool

leahskinner1

Hi everyone,

Our wedding is next summer and so things are starting to heat up in the planning process...

My mother and I are having typical problems surrounding the planning. We are having difficulties communicating when it comes to the decisions and we are not always seeing eye to eye on what "I" want and what "she" wants.

I always have good intentions of "bean-dipping" her when things are getting out of control, or to offer her smaller tasks to oversee, or to offer her the final choice from a limited selection of choices I've made... however, I just seem to get upset! My buttons get pushed and I end up losing my cool, being neither diplomatic or compromising.

I know that it is an important day, but it is not worth my relationship with my mom. How do you all remind yourself to remain calm and in charge in these situations?

suze423

I personally haven't had to deal with this situation.  My dad's paying but I'm free to do what I want as long as it's reasonably within my budget.  I have had some issues about what "I" want vs. what "you" want with my FI but most of his ideas are pretty ridiculous (tie-dyed tuxedo shirts anyone?) and I let him have the things that he really wants. 

Who's paying for your wedding?  If it's your mom/parents you are more than likely not going to get your way all the time.  What is it that's pushing your buttons?  Is your mom trying to control everything?  As much as some brides like to whine about it being THEIR day and THEIR wedding, it really isn't.  It's you, your FI, your family, your guests, and I think if you go about it with that mindset it would be easier and less stressful.

My best advice is to just breathe, try to think about what you want to say before it comes out of your mouth, and if you're really upset tell your mom you need a moment to yourself.  Yes, it's an important day but it's also just one day out of your life and not worth damaging relationships over.