Should I err on the side of too many or too few BMs...

barbiegirl25

When I went to college, I was accepted into a group of girls in my dorm. We hung out as a group, 8 of us, pretty much incessantly all 4 years of college and the following years (though less frequently). The strange part is that we very rarely hung out with one another one-on-one. Because of that, I can't say that I'm significantly closer to any of them than the others. I also have two sisters. So now I'm torn between including all 8 of my college crew as bridesmaids as well as my sisters (10 BMs to my FI's 4...) or just sticking with my sisters to keep the numbers lower. I know my girlfriends would be thrilled to be bridesmaids and it would be fun to have them dressed up and in the pictures, but I feel like that is a huge bridal party and it would make the processional and photos a little awkward with so many more bridesmaids than groomsmen.

SaraAndrew2010

I think 10 BMs is a huge wedding party.  If you really can't separate a few of your girlfriends who you are closer to, I would just have your sisters.  Your pictures will end up looking great regardless, but it gets hard to coordinate a really large wedding party.  And it also gets expensive to buy bouquets and presents for all of them.

AutumnFair

I think when it comes to WP is that if you really really close to the group then go ahead and ask. Professional photographers work with uneven parties all the time so I'm sure their creative eye can create something that will look cohesive.

But it is perfectly alright just to stick with family, I have had close friends do just family and totally understood.

So either go with all your friends + sisters or just do family. Corny as it sounds it is always best to pick from your heart who you really want up standing next to you.

garcias1

I agree with PPs totally.  Don't worry about you side matching his.  Just think about who you absolutely positively want standing up there with you on your day.  If you want all 8 of them up there, then ask them.  If you don't, then just go with your sisters.

hlq2011

I would go with your sisters.  Don't forget, these girls can still be involved in different things - if you have a shower or a bach party, they can be invited along for the ride, and you can certainly make sure your photographer gets photos of you all together at the wedding.

MairePoppy

I don't think weddings should be planned around the pictures. Don't worry about even sides, either. If you really want your college friends to be in your wedding party, and you can afford it (flowers and gifts). ask them. You don't have to make your decision based on numbers.

bdulli13

I think uneven sides are just fine! My only warning is that ten women can equal a lot of drama. Other than that, having ten and four is perfectly fine.

saisongbird

If you ask all 10 girls, I have a gut feeling you'll be back on here asking how to ask a bridesmaid to step down.  Err on the side of too few.

Catwoman708

I would say err on the side of too few. 

The larger the wedding party/number of attendants, the bigger the hassles on scheduling, logistics, communications, choosing dresses and dates, to much input, and hurt feelings.

Plus, a smaller wedding party means money saved on flowers, thank you gifts, and the rehearsal dinner. 

tenofcups4me

I'd go with just the sisters. 10 people in a bridal party sounds like huge drama in the making. If you want more than your sisters, do you have any other long-term close friends you  might want to ask? If not, I wouldn't worry about matching numbers to your FH.

aerinpegadrak

I also would do just the sisters.  Not because of the pictures or the processional, but because it can be very difficult to coordinate that many people (and nightmarish if you want them in the same dress), plus each additional attendant is one more gift, one more bouquet, one more set of accessories if you're mandating them, one more spot in the limo, and two more seats at the rehearsal dinner.  There are ways to lessen these expenses if you truly can't imagine getting married without all these women, but the easiest way to lessen the expense is not to have them.

trix1223

I'd ask just sisters.  I agree with pps that the bigger the WP, the more $$ you'll be spending, the more logistics you have the figure out, and the greater the potential for discord and drama.

marinabreeze

I agree with many of the PPs.  I think you should stick with your sisters.  But not because of the size of the WP per se.  It's because, as you've mentioned, you haven't hung out with these women that much one-on-one, and much of your interaction has been as a group.  I wonder, then, how close you really are with them as individuals, and if the lack of individual interaction with these women will cause interpersonal issues prior to the wedding. 

cassandrae913

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_should-err-side-of-many-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:913a84a1-991e-4a08-8126-7264a8e3b353Post:90b2281c-7bd4-40fe-ae60-5aaeccff6426">Re: Should I err on the side of too many or too few BMs...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd ask just sisters.  I agree with pps that the bigger the WP, the more $$ you'll be spending, the more logistics you have the figure out, and the greater the potential for discord and drama.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

I agree. I was warned by all of my married friends that their biggest issue and unanticipated expense was the bridesmaids. I am having 3 and most of my friends have had 6-8. Where I am from BM bouquets are around 100 each and wedding makeup is 85 a person. Also, I know that while it is a compliment to be a bridesmaid, the expenses can be a lot when it is all said and done. It will be so much easier to just have your sisters. You can save the bonding for the bachelorette party. Also, if you are not that close to the whole group do you really want them in your pictures 10 years from now? Your sisters will always be your sisters.

lalap69

There's a crisis in the middle of the night.  Do you call any of the girls in this group of friends?  If not, don't ask them to be your bm's.