Tension with a few Maids...

bexeez

Hi all!!
(I also posted this in Wedding Woes...)

This is my issue of the moment. Two of my bridesmaids are friends I've had since college, and for the most part we have fun together and they are great friends. My problem is I am really worried about a few recent misunderstandings that may have put some strain on our relationship. I'm an internalizer so it's not always easy for me to know what I need help with and how to ask for it.
I would like to know if anyone has any ideas as to how I can incorporate them more in my wedding planning. Also, any extra advice on how to deal with friends when things become tense!
I have been engaged for about 2 months, and I am getting married Oct 2011. My MOH is my sister, and another is my Best Friend since Middle School, so the issues are very minimal there.

Thank you for your help!!!!

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_tension-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:9476fecc-591b-4bf9-b97d-109b5000e5cfPost:e3a3d5fd-b2aa-4a4b-9238-16c3f4b957d3">Tension with a few Maids...</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all!! (I also posted this in Wedding Woes...) This is my issue of the moment. Two of my bridesmaids are friends I've had since college, and for the most part we have fun together and they are great friends. My problem is I am really worried about a few recent misunderstandings that may have put some strain on our relationship. I'm an internalizer so it's not always easy for me to know what I need help with and how to ask for it. I would like to know if anyone has any ideas as to how I can incorporate them more in my wedding planning. Also, any extra advice on how to deal with friends when things become tense! I have been engaged for about 2 months, and I am getting married Oct 2011. My MOH is my sister, and another is my Best Friend since Middle School, so the issues are very minimal there. Thank you for your help!!!!
Posted by bexeez[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm really confused, is there a conflict between them? If so, you stay out of it, unless they make a scene in front of you will only be asking for trouble trying to make peacemaker because I can bet that one will think you are taking the side of another and that just adds a whole new tension into the mix.</div><div>
</div><div>As for wanting to include them in stuff, the best you can do is just ask if the want to help with something and let it be known its not required if the don't feel up to it. If this is an attempt to bring them together, once again, I would not try to force anything on to either of them. It's up to them to figure out their differences not you. </div><div>
</div><div>If their relationship is strained I wouldn't worry too much about it. They are adults and care about you so I'm sure they can act maturely during functions like a wedding. I have dealt with people that I really did not like at weddings, I know just to ignore the person.

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bexeez

Thank you all for your input. Things have gotten better already.
And I wasn't so much trying to find 'jobs' for them to do! I was just trying to find ways to make them feel more included in my big day.