Picking my MOH.

Rachybug

I have 3 amazing sisters. I am really close to all of them. I also have an amazing best friend who has been my roommate for 1 1/2 years. We've been through thick and thin together. I am having the hardest time choosing who to pick as MOH. One of my sisters recently married someone from another religion. It was a huge deal in my family and caused a lot of pain. My oldest sister asked me not to choose my sister who is now another religion  to be my MOH. I feel stuck in the middle. I love all of my sisters and I love my bestfriend. I was leaning towards my sister who married into another religion but I really don't want to cause a family fued or hurt anyone's feelings. I thought about choosing my bestfriend because then I wouldn't have to choosse between my sisters, but my mom thinks that would really hurt my sisters. What do I do?! WHO DO I CHOOSE?! HELP!!!

trix1223

Don't have a MOH.  Simply say "I love you all too much to choose among you."

Have one BM stand next to you during the ceremony.  Have another sign the license (if required in your state) or hold your groom's ring.    Have another be your witness when you apply for the license (if required in your state), Have the 4th give a toast at the reception.

Problem solved.

SSaltzman87

Just have them all be BMs. There's no rule saying you absolutely have to have a MOH. Trix's solution is a good one too :-)

Rachybug

The only problem with that is, I've always wanted to have a maid of honor. I feel like it's a must.

jagore08

I agree with pps.  You obviously want all of them to be your MOH so don't have any and leave them as BM.  

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_picking-moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a0894582-71f8-4483-b104-7f596360bd01Post:5a90b6db-802d-46fd-ac4d-b83799c64a70">Re: Picking my MOH.</a>:
[QUOTE]The only problem with that is, I've always wanted to have a maid of honor. I feel like it's a must.
Posted by Rachybug[/QUOTE]

Why?  Perhaps that it's SO hard to choose one is an indication that you don't need a MOH.  Have 4 BMs and let them each split what is part of the tradition of what a MOH does.

I don't know why you've "always wanted one".  What difference will a MOH and 3 BMs or 4 BMs actually make in your wedding? You'll be just as married without a MOH as you will be with one.  And you won't have the worries of hurting someone's feelings and/or causing drama.

Lose the notion of a MOH.  It just sounds like it will make your life so much easier.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_picking-moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a0894582-71f8-4483-b104-7f596360bd01Post:5a90b6db-802d-46fd-ac4d-b83799c64a70">Re: Picking my MOH.</a>:
[QUOTE]The only problem with that is, I've always wanted to have a maid of honor. I feel like it's a must.
Posted by Rachybug[/QUOTE]

It isn't. But if you insist on this then you're only creating this problem for yourself. The best way to clear up this "problem" is to give up the notion that a MOH is a must-have and just make them all BMs. Or if you desperately want to choose a MOH- eenie meanie miney MOH? (pun intended)

Oh, and also I have a friend who has 2 sisters and asked them both to be co-MOHs.

bmoruzzi

If you want a MOH, you should have one.  Personally I'd go with the best friend so that you don't have to pick any of your family one over the other and hurt someone's feelings.  

lalap69

I was also going to suggest that you just not have a MOH, but since you feel like it's a "must" then go for it.  But don't expect any of us to be able to choose for you.  That's a decision that only you can make.  Only you know who you're absolutely closest to.  That's the person who should be your MOH.  Your choice may cause drama, but if having a MOH is truly a must to you, then that's just something you'll have to accept.

aerinpegadrak

If you don't have a MOH, her ceremonial duties would be split among the other girls.  So one can stand closest to you, you can pass off the bouquet to another, the third can sign the license as your witness, and the fourth can give a toast at the reception.  But I'm going to ditto lala: you understand that selecting one girl over the others will have consequences, so now you have to decide whether it's going to work out better in the long run to alter your "vision" or to deal with those consequences.

With only four attendants, I wouldn't do co-MsOH.  That's probably going to make things even worse than only choosing one.

Muffin'sMom

I went to a wedding where the bride had no Maid of Honor and no Bridesmaids.  The Program listed "Women of Honor" and "Men of Honor".  I thought it was grown up and very cool.

jerseydevil

I also vote to not choose one.

MissOwl

I think if you really have always wanted to have one, then pick the best friend. That way, you can stay out of the sister drama.

deb84

 I really feel that you need to get over the MOH being a 'must have'.  If you don't want to hurt feeling like you say the best way to do that is to NOT have an MOH.  Split up the traditional MOH duties as discribed in PP. 

sevatipari

Or! How bout making them all your MOH's?  The ones who aren't married would be your Maid's and your sis that is married would be your Matron because she's married.  Problem solved that way you honor them all with the "extra special title" you honor your sister that married into a different religion (bravo to her btw for being strong enough to stand against your family for the man she loves.  they need to learn to see past the outer and realize he makes her happy regardless of what Diety he worships...I speak from experience, try telling your preacher father you're Pagan and worship a Goddess...not fun).  Just tell them you couldn't pick so you want them all to be...saves the arguement if you used the keeping them all bridesmaids of "but you have to pick an MOH".  Just go I did...I picked all of you.