Too many Bridesmaids...Help!

LillieFranS

I have too many bridesmaids. Our wedding is not big (100 people), and I have 9 "must have" lovely ladies as my bridesmaids. My fiance has about 3-4 friends that he is very close with, and I wouldn't want him to invite more friends to be groomsmen just to match my number. I think it's going to look funny with all 9 of my bridesmaids up there with 3 of his groomsmen. Shortening my bridesmaid list is not an option--I love them all too much to just have a few.
My fiance prefers that we just have a BM and MOH in the ceremony, I am willing to do this, but I still plan to have bridesmaids. What can I do to make my bridesmaids feel special since they won't be standing up there with me? Should I still have them wear bridesmaid dresses? Ceremony seating advice? Invite them to the rehearsal dinner? Anybody else have a similar situation?

laurenes

I would have all of your maids walk down the isle, but have them sit in the front row/pew, and then just have your MOH/BM stand up there with you. That way they were part of the ceremony procession, but you don't have the drastically uneven sides that you don't want.

sister2groom

Your FI doesn't get to dictate how you have your sides, and it doesn't matter that they're uneven.

I think they should all stand up or just the MOH, otherwise it's too many friendship tiers (MOH, BM who can stand up and those who can't). And if they're not all going to stand up, I think you should do something like ask them to wear a little black dress so they don't have to buy something or at least they can use it again and set the budget (buying an uber-expensive dress just so they can walk up and sit down it in is a bit much). But if you tell them what to wear, they are your bridesmaids and so they HAVE to be invited to the rehearsal dinner, they didn't do any less for you because you made them sit down. They should get invited to the RD and receive gifts just like any other wedding party.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_many-bridesmaidshelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a24415e6-345a-4006-98dd-6465711b8a2fPost:a0d215b5-3cde-485b-8e2d-14d94c938814">Too many Bridesmaids...Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have too many bridesmaids. Our wedding is not big (100 people), and I have 9 "must have" lovely ladies as my bridesmaids. My fiance has about 3-4 friends that he is very close with, and I wouldn't want him to invite more friends to be groomsmen just to match my number. I think it's going to look funny with all 9 of my bridesmaids up there with 3 of his groomsmen. Shortening my bridesmaid list is not an option--I love them all too much to just have a few. <strong>My fiance prefers that we just have a BM and MOH in the ceremony, I am willing to do this, but I still plan to have bridesmaids.</strong> What can I do to make my bridesmaids feel special since they won't be standing up there with me? Should I still have them wear bridesmaid dresses? Ceremony seating advice? Invite them to the rehearsal dinner? Anybody else have a similar situation?
Posted by LillieFranS[/QUOTE]

You choose your attendants.  He chooses his.  WPs are not about symmetry.  They are about having those you care most about stand with you.

Having said that, I think 9 is a lot, but if you feel that you MUST have them, then ask.  But in the name of all that's holy, don't make them buy a BM dress if they're not actually....you know....bridesmaids.  What in heaven's name would be the point of that?

The bolded part is a bit confusing.  You're willing to have only a MOH and Best Man in the ceremony, but you still want bridesmaids?

A bridemaid's only role IS at the ceremony.  There isn't any other purpose for them other than buying the dress, walking down the aisle, standing (or sitting) respectfully for the ceremony, and smiling for the pictures.  So how can you have only a MOH in the ceremony, but still have BM's?  Answer:  you can't.

The only other possible "honor" would be having them be readers, but that's not a role that everyone is comfortable with, and you really only need 1-2 readers for a ceremony.

If you decide to have your friends in the WP, they come to the rehearsal dinner.  If they're not members of the WP, they don't come to the RD.  They don't wear BM dresses.  They are simply guests at your wedding, which IS also an honor.

MairePoppy

Sides don't have to be even. You each choose who you want in your wedding parties.
Some couples have the entire wedding party stand for the ceremony. Others have the MOH and BM stand and the bms and gms sit in the front row. Either way, all of the bms would still walk down the aisle. The gms could be in the procession or enter with the groom.

kgrafius

This might sound funny, but I've seen it done and it's actually kind of cute... you can split the girls and guys up.  Make even numbers on each side of the ceremony... Few girls on your side and a few girls on his... ponder the idea! JUST a suggestion! (ps i have 10 bridesmaids!!!)

LillieFranS

I like the idea of staggering

I'm not really looking to be told what I can't do...Just looking for those that have had similar situations.
Thanks!