When & Who??

hjay07

How far in advance should I ask my girls to be in my wedding? I've been engaged since June but the big day isn't until October of next year. Is it too soon to confirm with all of them?
Also, I'm on the fence about asking one of my friends. We've only known each other for about 6 months, but we're quickly becoming close and I consider her one of my best friends. Still...would it be weird for her to be a bridesmaid?

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_when-who?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a50bf7db-bc71-467e-8f45-0e7f68a60cadPost:8081a2be-d2e6-48af-9ef7-75a3dc556923">When & Who??</a>:
[QUOTE]How far in advance should I ask my girls to be in my wedding? I've been engaged since June but the big day isn't until October of next year. Is it too soon to confirm with all of them? Also, I'm on the fence about asking one of my friends. We've only known each other for about 6 months, but we're quickly becoming close and I consider her one of my best friends. Still...would it be weird for her to be a bridesmaid?
Posted by hjay07[/QUOTE]

What do you mean by "too soon to <strong>confirm</strong> with all of them"? Does that mean you've sort of asked them already?

It isn't way too soon to ask them, but you might want to think it over some more since you aren't sure about this last friend. I'd say, give it another month or two until you can get off the fence and ask them all around the same time.
But I would be a little hesitant about only knowing someone 6 months and then asking them. Relationships change all the time, and I just hate hearing all the "horror stories" about girls asking BM and then getting upset with them. A lot of that can be easily avoided.

You don't have anything to lose by waiting a bit longer to ask them.

hjay07

I haven't actually asked anyone, but my best friend and I have always said we would be each other's MOH so while I will officially ask her soon, it's sort of an unspoken agreement. Same goes for my fiance's sisters.

marissa_claire

I think this is a reasonable time to ask them.  That's what - 10 months?  I would go ahead and ask, especially if they will be traveling.  

EDIT:  Didn't see your second q, but I would personally probably not ask someone you've only known for six months.  You might have a blast and get on really well, but six months is not enough time to know if you'll be friends forever.  You want to ask the type of people who will be lifetime friends, generally speaking.  It's really your call, but we just had someone a day or two ago who asked people after only knowing them for a few months and it seemed like she had read more into the friendship than her friends had.  It didn't turn out well.

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_when-who?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a50bf7db-bc71-467e-8f45-0e7f68a60cadPost:d51fc627-ba03-4592-8da6-60529c9b3751">Re: When & Who??</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't actually asked anyone, but <strong>my best friend and I have always said we would be each other's MOH</strong> so while I will officially ask her soon, it's sort of an unspoken agreement. Same goes for my fiance's sisters.
Posted by hjay07[/QUOTE]

Make sure you actually officially ask her! lol I had the same deal with my MOH and I just assumed she knew, than when we were discussing wedding stuff she was like "You never asked me" I felt terrible since we talked about it all.the.time so I took her to lunch and officially asked her.

lalap69

I don't think it's too soon to ask.  You're under a year out now, so I think you're good.

If you're on the fence about asking this friend, I probably wouldn't.

hjay07

Thanks for the advice! I'm pretty sure she and I are on the same page, but especially since we live really far apart, I know I need to find some time for us to sit down and have that conversation!

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_when-who?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a50bf7db-bc71-467e-8f45-0e7f68a60cadPost:270f5eaa-f6f6-4e2a-a881-7c7261f51468">Re: When & Who??</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice! I'm pretty sure she and I are on the same page, but especially since we live really far apart, I know I need to find some time for us to sit down and have that conversation!
Posted by hjay07[/QUOTE]

Yeah I thought so too, I mean we've been friends so 16 years....who else was I gonna ask!! lol

LoveMuffins

You're more than okay to ask them now... don't put it off too long because they need time to get their dresses and get the parties organized and everything

I asked a girl that I've only known for 6 months, and I thought about waiting to ask her until I known her for longer, because it IS a lot of work on her part, etc. and I wasn't sure how she'd feel, but I already felt like she was one of my best friends... she cried when I asked her because she was so happy, and so far she has been one of the most supportive and into-it bridesmaids that I have! I say if it feels right, go for it!