Okay, so I don't know what to do. My fiance and I have been together for about 6 years. Finally got engaged last summer. My FMIL and I got a long great all the way up until about 2 years ago. The only problem I really had with her was around the holidays, she would pout when we wouldn't spend all day with them, I knew around then she was overly opinionated, intrusive, manipulating, and just nuts. It was all minor until the wedding planning started. She called him all the time, to just talk. She called one year on Valentines day at 6 30, it was on a thurs, both him and I worked till 5. She just called to see what he was doing for me on Valentines day. Really? What do you think most people do on Valentines day at 6 30? Eat dinner. Anyway, thats just an example...When she started getting crazy was when my FBIL was getting married. She made my FSIL feel like the crazy one. She pryed into their business, and would find out about their arguements and hold them against my FSIL. My FSIL was at her parents one night, and my FMIL drove over to their house and told her she needed some professional help. Seriously! She forgot that their are 3 sides to every story, and I've heard both of their sides, and really from a biased point of view, they were both at fault, not just the FSIL. But her son's are perfect. Needless to say, my FSIL and my FBIL have had fall outs over the last two years and most of them revolved around his mom, the other around martial affairs. I always thought she really liked me, and I wasn't too sure, I always just remained open minded because my FMIL made herself out to be the innocent one, and my FSIL as the devil. It was kind of like I really didn't know what to belive, because with all of their fights, the FSIL was never around
Now, its me...I'm getting married next month! During the wedding planning, I've learned its best not to tell her anything, because everything I tell her she doesn't like, and basically, not trying to be rude, but its my wedding her opinion doesn't matter. Well, she snuck up and looked at the price tag on my dress, and talked ot his side of the family about it, and his aunt called me and literally laughed at the price. I tired to include her in the wedding planning, but she wouldn't do anything, I'd have to ask her several times to do something before it got done. We moved to our new house this spring. We moved 30 minutes away from them, and she complained about the price, she complained about the pool and how expensive it is, complained how small it was, even though there is ample space for 2 people to start a family. She basically loved our house so much she got a real estate catalog and litterally circled and counted how many houses around the city were better than ours. Over the last couple of months, I got the vibe that there was tension between me and his parents, more so his mom. They were polite, just not themselves around me. It was weird. I kept asking my fiance if he'd talked to anyone about my frurstrations with his mom, he was like no. He doesn't comment really much about the situation at all, other than his mom is nuts. The last two times I've been around my MIL she makes fun of me, and teases me for the things my fiance and I argue about. Basically she teases me for my flaws in the relationship. So, where is she finding my flaws from? Either my fiance calls mommy everytime we have a fight, or she catches him down, and she pry's it out of him. Personally, I think she pry's it out of him. I've told him that he might want to be careful what he says to his mom because she holds it against me, and makes fun of me for it. Then he just blew up in my face and told me that was his mother yada yada yada and that she is the only woman that will ever love him unconditionally. I feel like he has the wrong picture here on how much a wife could love her husband. I see what he is saying, but at the same time I'm not asking him to choose sides. I am trying to make him see that his mom has made me feel uncomfortable, and really hurts my feelings. He won't see it from my point of view, he told me I was making it up. Now I am really hurt, because he thinks its just me. Its not me, but I can understand where he thinks once again his mom is the innocent one, because she says it all teasing. Half of what you say when you are teasing you are serious about. But guys dont' see things the way women do, nor do they understand how we work really. Its just not right...How do I put an end to this before I wind up in a relationship that was controlled and ruined by his mom like my FB and FSIL without making myself look like the devil? Why is he being so Niave about this all? Its not fair, I never did anything all but have feelings. My bad really! I'm suppose to dust this under the rug, but meanwhile his mom laughs at me, and teases me about things that she shouldn't even know that go on in our relationship, she told me teasing that she didn't like my attitude and I needed to change it, she just starts laughing, and when someone asks her whats funny, she tells them its an inside joke. WTH am I marrying into?