Fiance's sister as BM

SineadHickey

Hi there,

My FH has 3 sisters, I would like to ask one of them to be a bridesmaid. I was curious if this will be like a slap in the face to the other 2. I'm basically saying "I like this sister the best." (which I do.) I am not trying to be rude, but I am just wondering if it will come off that way.

Thanks in advance for any advice!

ekilzer1

I would be really really careful with this... I think it is asking for trouble/drama to only ask one of his sisters to be a BM. It really is a slap in the face and I think it will be more than just his sisters are upset- his parents may be upset too. I would definitely discuss this with your FH and see what his input is.

I kept telling my FH that he was going to cause issues with our wedding party if he didn't ask his brother in law to be a GM- he kept telling me it wouldn't. SURE ENOUGH, once his mother found out that both of my sister in laws, my FH's sister, and both of my brothers were in the wedding party, S%*! kinda hit the fan. His brother in law was the only person not being included in the wedding party and there is no way for something like that not to be a slap in the face.... 

SineadHickey

I see what you're saying, my FH is A okay with it, but maybe I'll ask him to run it by his parents.

Sonita12

I agree with running it by his parents. My brother's ex fiance chose my sister as her MOH and my other brother's wife as a BM and I was really hurt. We were pretty tight though, so the circumstance might be different.

heyimbren

Definitely run it by his parents first.

Also, could he include the other 2 by having them stand up as "groomswomen"? Then they're still included. But it still might look odd to have 1 on your side and 2 on the other side. Could all 3 be groomswomen?

SineadHickey

1 is already a groomswoman. And the other is getting married 3 weeks later and didn't ask me to be a BM. (I would never have expected her to.) I'm just saying that we like each other, but we know we're not that close. I'm thinking it's best just to go with none. It's unfortunate, because I really love this sister a lot, but it could cause more trouble than it's worth.

aerinpegadrak

Maybe this sister could do a reading or something?  DH likes his stepsister a whole lot better than his stepbrother, but instead of dealing with the drama of including one or both of them as attendants, Sis did a reading in the ceremony.

SineadHickey

Really like the reading idea, thanks a lot!!

JerseyML

I think doing a reading is a good idea too. 

I am not sure what kind of ceremony you are having but if its a Catholic one you could have all three sisters bring up the gifts this way you can still give your fav of the three sisters a job and the other two don't feel left out. 

Or one do the reading and the other two bring up the gifts.  I say do whatever you can to avoid any drama. 

Good Luck! 

i2012do

i asked my fiances half sister
he is close to her and his sister== and im not really close with either (we live 2000 miles apart)---
it came down to the fact that i wanted to include his sisters- but felt closer to his half sister---so i asked her...

it was a little easier simply because his half sister is my age, and since we are getting married 2000 miles from his sisters i knew she had more financial freedom to be a maid...

ive asked his other sister to do a readng... and that was an honor to her. We had a special non-traditional reading picked out and knew she would relate to it

itll all work out, just make sure everyone feels included in the big day

Muffin'sMom

My husband has 4 sisters, from 10 years older to 5 years younger.  I asked the youngest.  The other 3 were fine with it.  That was 30 years ago and we are all still friends!