Maid or Matron?

shadowkat08

My FI and I were engaged on New Years, and a family friend of mine jokingly (I hope) said that she was going to be serving as both the maid and matron of honour. 

Although she is not, it got me thinking. A maid of honour is not yet married, a matron of honour is already married. But what title is used for someone who has been married, but is now either divorced or widowed?

strlzfan11

I don't know the official etiquette of such, but I would venture to say matron in both cases as the woman in question has already been married.  If either of these cases applies to you, I'd honestly just ask my MOH which one she prefers.

orangecrush32

Honestly, I'd just ask what the person in question would like to be called.

sister2groom

What they'd like to be called. For example, a divorced woman might find it offensive to be treated as if she was still married to her ex, or a widow might take offense if you treated her as if she hadn't married her husband. Or there might be some other reasons. Whatever the reason, no one's going to care except potentially the honor attendant in question, so let her pick.

MairePoppy

A maid of honor is someone who has never been married.

graysquirrel

I would say it would be matron because "maid" implies "maiden", a young woman who has never been married or is a virgin. But the best thing to do would be to ask her what she prefers. 

DNAtime

While I understand that maid means you haven't been married, but my MOH is getting married like a month after I am and I have asked that she refer to my title as maid because matron feels old.  SO I vote for asking which she would prefer.

missfarar

Technically, if she has been married, she is a matron. My sister is a widow and when she asked me "Am I a maid or a matron?!" I googled and found out: married, divorced, or widowed = matron.

However, if she'd prefer to be "maid" then go for it.

tenofcups4me

Matron. You can't go back to being a maid :-)  But I'd call someone whatever they want. At my first wedding, my sister and I both referred to her as maid of honor, even though she was married and technically a matron -- matron just sounded so weird and old. But on the programs, I listed her as "honor attendant" so we just worked around it entirely.

bablingbrooke

I would go with maid.  "Matron" has a very old connotation and, IMHO, is outdated (in what other area do we categorize women by their marital status?) so just call her "maid."  If she has a problem with it, she'll tell you.  But the vast majority of married women would prefer the term "maid" in any situation.

trix1223

Call her your Honor Attendant, and there's no issue at all.