Bridesmaid Dress issue?!?!

ShannonRay

I have a bridesmaid who drink pretty regularly and has lost a lot of weight recently. But she started drinking AFTER she lost the weight. And now, Ithink she is gaining the weight back and her dress....doesn't fit. And its a "all sales are final" dress. What can I do?!?!?!

sister2groom

If she bought the dress it's her problem, not yours. She'll get it let out or something, but let her worry about it. Bringing her weight gain to her attention would be hurtful, especially since she's may be struggling with something else, given the recent heavy drinking. Have you talked to her as a friend about her drinking?

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:adc35789-5a34-4439-86a4-f3190d2f4200Post:c72ae40b-6a0c-44ef-a7a2-4e62852844f8">Bridesmaid Dress issue?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a bridesmaid who drink pretty regularly and has lost a lot of weight recently. But she started drinking AFTER she lost the weight. And now, I think she is gaining the weight back and her dress....doesn't fit. And its a "all sales are final" dress. What can I do?!?!?!
Posted by ShannonRay[/QUOTE]

Don't do anything. I'm sure she is well aware of the weight gain and your mentioning it is only going to make her feel worse. Let her figure it out and try not to worry.

ETA: I just re-read what you wrote. You <strong>think</strong> she's gained the weight back? If you don't know for a fact that her dress doesn't fit than I would definitely not mention anything. There is no nice way to say "Hey you look like you've gained weight and I'm afraid your dress won't fit"

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:adc35789-5a34-4439-86a4-f3190d2f4200Post:703252b1-b610-4bd6-adfd-661d275f3713">Re: Bridesmaid Dress issue?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaid Dress issue?!?! : Honestly, I would sit down with her and ask her if she is okay. She suddenly started drinking regularly, and I think that is cause for concern. Leave your wedding and the dress out of this, and just be a good friend and make sure she is doing okay.
Posted by jamierobin[/QUOTE]

That's a very good point.

ShannonRay

Thanks everyone! And yes I've talked to her about the drinking,as a friend. She swears its just out of fun. And by me saying "i think she is gaining the weight back" she actually said that one, not me. But, I'm not going to say anything about the dress. I know that there is no good way to do that. I don't want to seem rude or crulel by doing that. I guess I worded things weird. I am genuinely concernec for her overall, forget the dress. I don't care. I'm just worried about her and her health.

ShannonRay

ETA: I just re-read what you wrote. You think she's gained the weight back? If you don't know for a fact that her dress doesn't fit than I would definitely not mention anything. There is no nice way to say "Hey you look like you've gained weight and I'm afraid your dress won't fit"

I also know for a fact that her dress does not fit,I saw it on her last and tried to help with the zipper. But like I said, that doesn't matter. I just wanted to point out to you that I do know that it doesn't fit.

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:adc35789-5a34-4439-86a4-f3190d2f4200Post:6786e772-cf61-47c3-a9fe-7674c779733f">Re: Bridesmaid Dress issue?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]ETA: I just re-read what you wrote. You think she's gained the weight back? If you don't know for a fact that her dress doesn't fit than I would definitely not mention anything. There is no nice way to say "Hey you look like you've gained weight and I'm afraid your dress won't fit" I also know for a fact that her dress does not fit ,I saw it on her last and tried to help with the zipper. But like I said, that doesn't matter. I just wanted to point out to you that I do know that it doesn't fit.
Posted by ShannonRay[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the correction. I know sometimes what you say and what we read are two different things. Sounds like you are handling it the right way.

aerinpegadrak

Her one and only responsibility is to get the dress and make sure she can wear it.  I'd continue to express your concern for her health, but leave the wedding out of it.  It's up to her to figure out how to make it fit when the time comes.  Perhaps the seamstress can put in a corset back or something.

ShannonRay

 re: Your wedding isn't until April. Let it go. Deal with it when its time for alterations."

Sorry, But I am not a procrastinator by any means. I don't want to have a handful of things to deal with that could have been dealt with earlier, right at the last minute. So while I have the time and means to deal with this, I will. By waiting until the last minute, I am bound to forget something, or get too stressed out.  And what if it can't be altered, then what? Buy a whole new dress? Don't think so. I'm not made of money and neither are my bridesmaids.

But thanks for the advice.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:adc35789-5a34-4439-86a4-f3190d2f4200Post:0d6f87e6-5543-4a5c-93a8-98b396b09366">Re: Bridesmaid Dress issue?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE] re: Your wedding isn't until April. Let it go. Deal with it when its time for alterations." Sorry, But I am not a procrastinator by any means. I don't want to have a handful of things to deal with that could have been dealt with earlier, right at the last minute. So while I have the time and means to deal with this, I will. By waiting until the last minute, I am bound to forget something, or get too stressed out.  And what if it can't be altered, then what? Buy a whole new dress? Don't think so. I'm not made of money and neither are my bridesmaids. But thanks for the advice.
Posted by ShannonRay[/QUOTE]
It's fine that you're not a procrastinator, but this isn't your responsibility, it's hers.  Don't micromanage a friend, especially a friend who's clearly going through her own issues.

Besides, getting any sort of alterations this early is insane.  What if she drops the weight again in the next four months?

orangecrush32

This isn't something you need to worry about right now. Worry about this around February. I know you're not a procrastinator, but this is too early for dress alterations since people's weights fluxuate and she could manage to lose the weight by the wedding.

And just keep on her as afriend, how you're worried about her recent drinking habits. Drinking for fun is fine, but when it gets to the excess that you're gaining weight that's a bit much.

deb84

Retread: The dresses have obviously already been order and are in.

OP: I agree that this is not your concern.  I agree with you about not putting stuff off but this isn't your problem at ALL.  She is an adult (I assume) and knows she has to wear that dress on your wedding day.  Either she will figure something out or she removes herself from the wedding.  She has plenty of time to lose the weight or to get the dress altered to fit. RELAX and let her worry about it.