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am I just overanalyzing?

mariebowmariebow
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in Moms and Maids
   So I have a friend that is in my wedding party and we've known each other for almost six years. I was really happy to have her in my wedding and thought she was going to be my MOH, but never asked her about that (thank god!). I introduced her to my fiancee's friend about a year ago and now they are engaged as well. Of course we have NO contact as much as I try. The last time we did talk I told her about dress shopping and she said her BM's are going shopping around the same time. I was never asked to be in their wedding and I'm kind of hurt. I got them together and we were best friends... is it wrong of me to be upset?
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Re: am I just overanalyzing?

  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-just-overanalyzing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:af61dc48-6a02-4fcc-b88b-7b3ac65a8c66Post:7f081be8-cd74-4f93-8446-81f82c6078fd">am I just overanalyzing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]   So I have a friend that is in my wedding party and we've known each other for almost six years. I was really happy to have her in my wedding and thought she was going to be my MOH, but never asked her about that (thank god!). I introduced her to my fiancee's friend about a year ago and now they are engaged as well. Of course we have NO contact as much as I try. The last time we did talk I told her about dress shopping and she said her BM's are going shopping around the same time. I was never asked to be in their wedding and I'm kind of hurt. I got them together and we were best friends... is it wrong of me to be upset?
    Posted by mariebow[/QUOTE]

    <div>I say you can be initially upset or hurt but should move on after a few days. You just don't know her situation on why she chose her BMs as she did (and you should not ask either), maybe she wanted just family, maybe your not as close as you thought, whatever the reason you need to learn that weddings are not tit for tat. No one should be expected to be in someone's WP just because they were in their's. Right now you are just have raw feelings, in a few days you should be over the initial hurt or rejection and move onto bigger and better things.</div>
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    WPs are supposed to be based upon current relationships, not past ones.  Clearly she feels that you're not very close friends anymore, and it was wrong of you to simply presume that you would be in her WP.

    It sucks, but you're just going to have to get over it.  Sometimes life's not fair.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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  • TheCranberryTheCranberry member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It is understandable that you're upset, but I don't think you should let it affect your friendship.  A similar thing happened to me, and I was upset, esepcially since comments she'd previously made led me to believe she'd ask me to be a BM.  I got over it, and we are still friends.  She asked me to do a reading in her wedding, and I did. 
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  • CaseyandSalleyCaseyandSalley member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i had the same thing happen, i over analyzed a bit then was gllllaaaaddd i wasnt in her WP! I got to enjoy her wedding as a guest and it doesnt change our freindship one bit!
    My Shoes :)Photobucket
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  • Traceyd14Traceyd14
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Could also be that she knows you are planning your own wedding somaybe she decided to choose someone that has more free time to help with her wedding
    We ran off to Vegas and got married!
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  • deb84deb84 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I understand why you are upset but obviously she didn't choose you for a reason.  Now you have NO IDEA what that reason is and you best just leave it be.  I have been in 7 weddings prior to my own.  Granted I am friends with all of these women but do you think I could or should ask them all to be in my wedding?  No it doesn't work that way.  I have a sister, two sister-in-laws plus his sister who to ME it is more important to include.  Yes, it hurts at first but you will be fine. 
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Maybe your friend had high hopes and dreams to make her cousin, or her childhood friend her MOH, which has nothing to do with you.  It's great that you picked her as MOH, but realize that is ultimately her choice who she would like to pick, and it's not obligatory in any way.

    Let it go.  Stop analyzing, and move on to another part of your wedding planning!

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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